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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

can you tell me either way?

22 replies

cocoface · 02/02/2016 15:05

I'm currently being chased for a debt connected with the previous partner of my dp. I have had a call stating that this number was provided as a contact number for her. Currently my DP and I are disagreeing. I believe she must have provided this number as my numbr is unlisted and I don't personally have any debt/credit card etc etc so therefore no debt agency could have my number for any reason.

He believes that it has been garnered from somewhere else and she isn't to blame. is this possible though, ie could they pick it up from somewhere else?

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 02/02/2016 15:07

Not likely! There's no way they'd get your number from somewhere (where exactly?!) and connect it with her out of all the millions of available phone numbers. It's just not possible.

pinkyredrose · 02/02/2016 15:08

Ps. Do.you think your DP has something to do with it? As he's so keen to defend his ex.

Katenka · 02/02/2016 15:12

I think they can.i had a call from a utility company for someone of the same name. The person owed money.

They asked me what my address was and what my previous address was.

Did they phone and ask for you or her?

Original poster

cocoface · 02/02/2016 15:12

I don't think he has anything directly to do with it, I do think he is defending her thought. they share a surname - I don't - he thinks they are confusing her with me and chasing me for the debt!

I think she provided it as an alternative number as she is still bitter (he denies this - apparently she has moved on etc etc, it was years ago etc etc). I think its her though. I suppose I'm wondering if he could be right and its a misunderstanding.

OP posts:

Original poster

cocoface · 02/02/2016 15:15

they asked for her, wouldn't believe me when I said they had the wrong person! she is always in debt, constantly, really bad credit rating and I think she may well be trying to dodge them and perhaps put me under pressure for him to provide her with more maintenance or something.

he is adamant she wouldn't do that - says that she wouldn't do it and they have gotten my number some other way!

OP posts:

MaxPepsi · 02/02/2016 15:17

Companies will find any means to get contact details. You are connected to him now, she was connected to him.

They may have spoken to someone who knew them both, they've given them your number by mistake.

Not likely to be her, what would be the point? You would just say wrong number and they will take it off their records.

Original poster

cocoface · 02/02/2016 15:19

actually I have tried to tell them that I'm not her - they don't believe me! so ive barred the calls now!

he ha a lot of personal debt due to his business folding, I have never been chased for his debt!

he also thinks - why would she and she adamantly denies it - I just don't trust her, she has been underhand previously. I could be wrong mind you but I don't think so

OP posts:

Katenka · 02/02/2016 15:19

Ah they asked for her.

I would call them back and ask how they got you number. It could be through your dp. I assume you live with him.

If you have filled your number in with the address it could be linked.

But I would be highly suspicious that it was her too. But what would she gain from it?

ratspeaker · 02/02/2016 15:24

Is it your landline? Or mobile?
I've had calls from debt collection agencies for one of my neighbours. Totally different surname.
No idea how they got my landline number as its unlisted and also registered with TPS.

In my case I sent an email complaint to the debt collection agency.
Stated was a complaint in opening sentance.
That so and so had never lived at my address or been given permission to use my unlisted phone number.
That I wanted my details removed from their system.

Once you have made a complaint the debt collection agency should reply as to how they will remedy the situation.

Original poster

cocoface · 02/02/2016 15:24

I don't know what she hopes to gain, apart from annoyance.

I don't have debt, never have done and it stresses me greatly to have these calls so ive blocked them.

I live with my DP - have done for a number of years, this is the first time thi has happened.

Its causing issues between us as I'm asking him why he is so keen to defend her, he says he doesn't think she would do it and in fact is convinced of the fact!

I want it to go away in all senses of the word - both with the debt collection agencies and from within my relationship. He says I wont let go of it, I say that's right as its me got the hassle etc etc etc.

I do have a stubborn streak a mile wide but I don't think I'm unfair. He cant see any wrong in her whatsoever - I think he is guilty because he left the relationship rather than her.

OP posts:

Original poster

cocoface · 02/02/2016 15:25

it was a call made to my unlisted mobile number. I went postal to the guy on the phone and told him never to use my number again, it was breach of data protection etc.

its a big elephant in the middle of my relationship though!

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 02/02/2016 15:51

You need to get it sorted though. Don't just block it and leave it. Get onto the debt collection people again and ask why they were ringing on that number. Don't listen to your boyfriend - he's just making a guess.

bessiebumptious2 · 02/02/2016 15:54

So... why didn't you give them her address and telephone number, so they could chase the right person?

Barmaid101 · 02/02/2016 16:00

Give them her details, address landline email address what car she drives and the registration.
I would be furious if my dh defended a previous girlfriend! I mean what are the chances of all the numbers out there is begin your number they get!

Chattymummyhere · 02/02/2016 16:11

Give them her details. My mum recently got a debt letter to her house address to a family member who had never lived there but had recently fallen out with my mum, she happily and helpfully gave them the correct address no way they would of linked the address them selfs.

I've never had debt collects get my number or address for anyone I know who had debt so seems fishy.

colleysmill · 02/02/2016 16:39

My ex did this to me. I had helpfully been passing his post on and he continued to use my address. And he'd put me down (stupidly) as a contact point for him.

I told at least three companies chasing non payment of debts I had no idea where he was and that I had no idea if he was alive or dead but preferably as far away from me as possible. One said they would call back later and I pointedly but politely told them if he didn't live with me at 11.30am he was unlikely to be living with me at 5pm and he was never to darken my door again.

In the end I gave them his parent's number because it wasn't my problem any longer and actually they needed to know that he was a total idiot when it came to financial affairs (they never believed me but I later heard they too couldn't bail him out constantly). I also just returned his post to sender as he was incapable of sorting these things out himself.

Drew64 · 02/02/2016 17:27

Whatever has happened here, and I truly hope you get to the bottom of it you absolutely must contact them. If needs be, prove your identity and ask them to take your number off of their records.
Next thing, you will end up with baliffs on your doorstep.

amarmai · 02/02/2016 17:30

why is he defending his ex?

theycallmemellojello · 02/02/2016 17:54

It wouldn't surprise me if the debt collection people had just found that number associated with the property somehow (eg on a form you filled in online that got sold to a third party) and then decided to bullshit with it. "We have hard evidence this is the phone number of the person whose debt this is" is just a tactic designed to freak out the absconding borrower and scare them into paying up. This is speculation however, only you know the ex personally and whether she's the kind of person likely to put your number on a credit card she took out and was deliberately planning not to pay. That's pretty extreme behaviour though, so I don't think it's necessarily a red flag that your DH reckons she hasn't done that.

Bailey101 · 02/02/2016 17:59

Just to be on the safe side, you should get copies of your credit records. If she did hand out your number, she might escalate and try to get credit in your name once her other options dry up. You can get them for free from Clearscore.

OzzieFem · 02/02/2016 18:31

Any chance his ex got hold of his mobile phone and got your number from it?

Original poster

cocoface · 03/02/2016 14:02

ozzie, his ex has had my number for quite a few years she opened an itemised phone bill of his and got my number from that. She sent a few nasty texts - I then proceeded to have a few years to silent phone calls at all hours of the day and night - she denied of course that this was her making the calls. strangely enough when I contacted a policeman friend of mine for advice and my dp dropped this into conversation with her the calls stopped!

I have read all the great advice and just wanted to thank you all for your help. I have a few other life issues going on at the minute so I have decided not to stress over this and to allow my dp to handle it.

Thanks again

OP posts:

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