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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to throw someone's post in the bin

29 replies

JellyBaby26 · 01/02/2016 17:22

We moved in in December. He dies in August.

Previous times I had called the estate agent and he's collected it to pass to his ex wife, and I have also walked to EA to give it to them to pass on.

I don't feel like I should keep doing this so feel like just throwing it away. Or should I write deceased on the post and put it back in post box? One letter was a utility bill.
Not sure what right or wrong here...

OP posts:
Original poster
JellyBaby26 · 01/02/2016 17:22

I must add I have previously and repeatedly asked for a forwarding address and got nothing.

OP posts:
whatdoIget · 01/02/2016 17:27

You could just put either deceased or not at this address and put back in the post box

goodnightdarthvader1 · 01/02/2016 17:30

I'd put deceased and RTS. Otherwise you'll continue to get more.

slightlyglitterbrained · 01/02/2016 17:31

Put it back in the post with "deceased" on it, or it'll never stop coming. It's the only way companies will find out if they haven't by now.

P1nkP0ppy · 01/02/2016 17:32

Or put 'Not known at this address' and RTS.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 01/02/2016 17:36

I think its illegal to destroy other people's post but I might be corrected.

But yes especially with untilies bills Write Deceased and pop in the post box.

notquitehuman · 01/02/2016 17:43

Mark it as deceased and return to sender. If he owes money people aren't going to give up just because their letters are being ignored. You don't want debt collectors turning up!

OurBlanche · 01/02/2016 17:50

2 years on and I register as self employed.

2 days later I get a letter from HMRC - my mistake, it was for the previous owner!

I sellotaped it up, wrote "Opened in error, no longer resident at this address" on it and put it back in the post.

We get circulars and other crap for them and the even more previous owners. Sometimes I write "Please take this address off your mailing list. This person moved away 2 / 12 years ago" sometimes I just throw it in the bin!

And that included a statement for their DCs savings account. Why? Cos I am tired of it now.

wasonthelist · 01/02/2016 17:51

I often -never- do this. Most recently was some doucebag lawyers who were writing to someone who I had never heard of about her house purchase. I wrote not known at this address on the first 2 letters, then binned the rest -although officially I never saw any more- not my problem if they make an error with an address then czn't be bothered to sort it out. A lot of people parrot that line about it being illegal, I have no idea if its true, but I suspect it would be hard to prove for small timers like me.

leelu66 · 01/02/2016 17:53

I think you need to pay for the service of having mail forwarded to another address so that's maybe why you haven't a forwarding address from EA.

On some mail we received, there was no return address on the letters. We had no forwarding address so we opened them, and one was a birthday card with £10 cash inside. No way of knowing who sent it, so was given to chazza. Better than destroying it.

SecondMrsAshwell · 01/02/2016 18:29

I often get someone else's post and I usually write not at this address and send it back.... except once I got a letter from the local doctor addressed to my house, wrong person. So I opened it (which is illegal) and the letter said that the person had to go in to the surgery urgently because of test results.

When I phoned the surgery next day they got very shirty with me till I pointed out that if I'd just stuck it back in the post with not known, by the time the person got their letter, it might be too late and it was their fault for putting the wrong number on the letter (I've been there 10 years and never had anything for that name).

And don't get me started on the engine part that was delivered to mine.

FlysInDreams · 01/02/2016 18:31

We still get post for the previous owners, though they moved over18 months ago (no forwarding address). The wife picked them up for a while as she still worked nearby, but I've been returning them for the last few months. At least they've changed address for the DVLA now!

Palomb · 01/02/2016 18:31

December is fairly recent really. I thought you were going to say you'd been dealing with it for years!

Original poster
JellyBaby26 · 01/02/2016 18:34

I shall mark deceased and return.

We had been dealing with this for 2 years in our previous home.

We have a redirect set up yet I know come March when that expires our old house will be flooded with our post but just junk mail!

The bloke didn't change his address with DVLA and now has a ccj against his name because of an unpaid fine.

OP posts:
hefzi · 01/02/2016 18:50

I still get postage for the person before the previous tenant - so someone who hasn't lived here (or been on the electoral roll) for at least 8 years: they are mostly debt collectors (who say they are taking the address off their records, but clearly believe hope triumphs over experienced) but the odd bank one as well. I've tried ringing, I RTS with "moved in 2007 or before" on, I've tried marking them deceased: now, I am just grateful there's someone who gets more bills than I do Grin

(I also periodically have the police looking for the previous tenant - but that's another story Wink)

paranoiddroid · 01/02/2016 18:57

I regularly get mail for the person we bought this house off4 years ago and her boyfriend. Its all financial stuff, bank statements, pension statements etc. I specifically asked her for a forwarding address, via the estate agent, to send mail to and she refused. She was also difficult to deal with deliberately as she thought she'd had to go to low on the price. She also didnt realise that her ex husband hadnt registered the deeds, apparently, which we had to sort out at our expense.The day they moved out she let her dogs shit all over the floor and we had to pay for a specialist cleaner to come in before we could move in. Hence I very much enjoy putting all her mail in the recycling. Including the odd pension cheque and, bizarrely her (England First) supporters occasional wage cheque. How they don't miss any of this, or have the wit to phone up organisations to update their addresses, is beyond me.

littledrummergirl · 01/02/2016 19:01

Been in our house 17yrs now- the previous occupants mail which still comes now goes in the bin. If they never cared enough to advise people of the move, after such a length of time I don't think I should.

LalaLyra · 01/02/2016 19:02

which is illegal

It's not. It's only illegal if you open it and intend to keep the contents for yourself.

From Citizen's Advice - Opening someone else's mail

You can legally someone else's mail in some circumstances under the Postal Services Act 2000. It's only illegal if you open mail ‘without reasonable excuse’ or if you ‘intend to act to another’s detriment'.

Example: If you're getting bank statements or cards in someone else’s name, you should tell the sender immediately. You can either:

open the letter and call the bank
write “not known at this address” on the envelope and put it in a postbox

WMittens · 01/02/2016 19:02

We moved in in December. He dies in August.

I think you should politely ask him to move out first, rather than planning to kill him. I'm rather disturbed that you have everything planned out so exactly you know when you're going to do it, six or seven months in advance.

clareb02 · 01/02/2016 19:05

I've found if you put "return to sender, not known at this address", a huge amount of post stops-living in a block of flats with constantly changing tenants made me try this

londonrach · 01/02/2016 19:57

Ive been binning unopened previous post for 6 months now. No idea where he is and got fed up of putting not known at address and makes no difference. Now thinking of it since i started binning it theres been less.... In fact i cant remember the last piece. So result!

Original poster
JellyBaby26 · 01/02/2016 19:58

Well mittens, I like to plan things in advance. I would hate to have forgotten something so trivial as his post

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 01/02/2016 20:02

Write deceased, return to sender on the envelopes an pop in a post box.

Most companies especially finance type will have a process to update and stop sending you mail, whether they find a new address or not. I work for an insurance company and we do, we could get in trouble with regulators if we keep sending out personal info when we know the customer doesn't live there anymore.

Don't bother with trying to get a forwarding address anymore, just return everything to sender.

Kerberos · 02/02/2016 14:20

I wish all institutions were as good at changing addresses (I'm looking at you Barclays...)

I've called them 4 times to explain Mrs B doesn't live here anymore and whilst it's regrettable she's not paying her CC they should stop sending letters to my house about it. Apparently they can't because they need to show they've tried to contact her. So on their advice I shred them.

chillycurtains · 02/02/2016 14:23

Lol WMittens I really laughed at that. I noticed it in the OP and chuckled.