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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my decree absolute could have been a bit more impressive?

23 replies

wotevaaaa · 28/01/2016 21:42

It came today. Have you seen the paper they're printed on? Cheap & nasty or what? Not too dissimilar from that crappy loo roll you used to get in school toilets back in the day. & Where was the juicy red seal/rosette on the corner? Come to think of it a gold border would have been nice.... It looks more like the boring small-print you get tucked in the back of a paracetamol packet... I think it's high time these certificates were redesigned & updated. I'm thinking thick embossed paper, gold curly writing with the words 'single' or 'free' in BIG letters & a nice BIG fat rosette with long ribbons. Something you'd be proud to display on your wall congratulating you on finally coming to your senses after slogging it out for 'x' years.

OP posts:

WisestIsShe · 28/01/2016 21:45

YANBU but it doesn't really matter because you are now officially FREE.

Enjoy your freedom!

smileymam · 28/01/2016 22:30

I genuinely thought mine was going to be like a certificate! Disappointed was not the word, but the relief that it was all over with was immense :)

Savagebeauty · 28/01/2016 22:34

Yes I was a tad disappointed. But not for long

YouMakeMyDreams · 28/01/2016 22:38

Mine was a tad disappointing just a printout really but dh's was awful. (Not divorced each other previous marriage) mine was laid out like a wee certificate his just looked like a letter. In fact he had to read it twice to confirm it was what he thought it was. No idea why they were different but mine definitely pipped his slightly.

Elledouble · 28/01/2016 22:41

I still occasionally have wobbles that mine isn't the real thing! It's just a letter saying that some people had a meeting and decided that my marriage was over. I was really expecting something more like a marriage certificate

Happydappy99 · 28/01/2016 22:44

My ex's girlfriend (who was the OW) thought I'd faked the decree absolute so I could jump out at their wedding and stop it........ He rang the court in end to confirm that it was real.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 28/01/2016 22:44

I'd happily have paid a few quid more for a bit of gravitas to mine. Perhaps they should have a box to tick to pick the "Yay! Freedom" celebratory certificate or the sombre cheap version.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 28/01/2016 22:45

Yes mine was just a letter too, like the ones the solicitors had been sending me asking for forms to be sent back. Wholly underwhelming. Maybe I should make myself one, all calligraphic writing and embossing in a lovely frame?

marriednotdead · 28/01/2016 22:50

Thanks for the warning! My decree nisi should have been rubber stamped today so not long now. I won't bother reserving a fancy frame for it

Bogeyface · 28/01/2016 23:17

They are disappointing arent they?

I expected something more like a marriage certficate something that matched the importance of what has just happened. Quite an odd feeling too when it came, that our marriage, which ended when it shouldnt have done because of my mental health issues, had come to that. Just a sheet that rolled off a printer along with many others.

I still feel whistful and sad when I think of it :(

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/01/2016 23:22

What about a trumpet fanfare? I could really have done with one of those.

YANBU, mine looks shit.

KurriKurri · 28/01/2016 23:33

Mine was sent to me as an e-mail attachment - I was very unimpressed but also very relieved as it was a long time coming.

It's a weird feeling (at least it was for me) relief but also a certain amount of sadness that things had ended the way they had.

So never quite sure if congratulations are appropriate - because everyone feels differently, but it's a huge relief when all the legal form filling and negotiating are finished, and you can properly start moving on.

CallMeExhausted · 29/01/2016 01:48

I had a bit of an ace in the hole... mine was effective on St. Valentine's Day. For others, it is a manufactured holiday filled with overpriced roses and shallow displays of "love".

For me, it is my annual thumb to the nose for my XH.

Although glitter bombs and choirs of angels would have been a lovely addition.

OrlandosGibbon · 29/01/2016 07:36

Mine, although dated early December, arrived in the post on Christmas Eve. Best Christmas present ever.

CauliflowerBalti · 29/01/2016 07:47

I'm still not convinced it's real. When my ex remarried I was quite sure that the registrar would stop them as this piece of flimsy shit isn't actually a divorce paper.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 29/01/2016 08:30

CallMe - I managed to get the papers served on Valentine's Day which pleased me greatly :)

Northumberlandlass · 29/01/2016 08:36

Actually opportune moment to ask....XH left Dec 31 2014, we are officially separated & there is financial closure to our marriage. The 2 years will be up 31 Dec 2016, do I have to wait until that date to set divorce in motion for the 'separated 2 years' to apply as I realise it will take 6-7 months to go through or can I start the process this summer?
I WANT a crappy bit of paper

Elledouble · 29/01/2016 15:12

My understanding is that you have to have been separated two years when you commence preceedings. I know people who have fibbed about it (not that I'd in any way recommend this) and got away with it.

This thread reminded me of this poem...

Rememberallball · 06/02/2016 10:28

Yes, you will have to wait. My ExH didn't (along with a few other things) and, when I wrote a letter to the judge presiding over the case explaining why I couldn't sign the document, he was very interested; wrote to ExH and demanded he correct the inaccuracies as well as paying the submission fee again!! Not that I didn't want to divorce the shit but I wasn't sure ExH wasn't trying to trip me up by lying!!

Cutecat78 · 06/02/2016 10:50

I was also underwhelmed.

Then the DVLA lost it

Oysterbabe · 06/02/2016 10:54

I guess receiving it is not a happy occasion for everyone so minimal fussiness is appropriate.

StayWithMe · 06/02/2016 10:57

This thread had give me a giggle. Sorry for those who are sad about their separations, though.
You would think they would at least put it in one if those musical cards. It could have a trumpet blowing or the tune of your choice, which you could include in the application.

hefzi · 06/02/2016 13:11

My DF accidentally used mine to light the barbecue Well, he claims it was an accident, anyway

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