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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of constant pregnancy updates!!!

15 replies

Jammo123 · 27/01/2016 22:59

I'm a horrible friend!!!!

One of my best mates is pg with first baby. I've been trying to conceive with no luck at all for 4 years. She got pg in 3 months straight after coming off the pill. She knows about our difficulties but never enquires about it. Every day I receive some kind of pregnancy update. Why don't people get it????

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 27/01/2016 23:01

How very insensitive of her.

And that aside, how bloody boring!

MammaTJ · 27/01/2016 23:03

They don't get it because they are in their own pregnancy bubble. Not good from where you are at all, but totally understandable in the grand scheme of things!

becksblue · 27/01/2016 23:08

On the surface seems very insensitive and unkind but perhaps you are overcompensating your feelings without realising and coming across as really enthusiastic about the updates?

I've been the pregnant friend in this situation and went the opposite way and didn't really talk about my pregnancy and my friend told me she was upset that she didn't think she could share my excitement just because if her difficulties. It's tricky all round.

I hope you conceive soon Flowers

Original poster
Jammo123 · 27/01/2016 23:13

Thanks everyone. Appreciate the replies.

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/01/2016 23:14

Aww sweet heart. Let me give you a massive unmumsnetty hug (((((((((()))))))))))))))). I think she's being an inconsiderate insensitive a hole, TBPH. I'm afraid it might be a case of having to tell her that. Yes you might shit on the floor but you don't deserve your nose to be rubbed. Tell her how much its hurting you and tearing you apart, and while you don't want to fall out with her. You might have no choice.
Yes shes excited, but shes not the only women in the world to be pregnant, She doesn't havd to bang on about it 25/8. You say your congratulations and have done. You don't want a constant running commentary

PurpleDaisies · 27/01/2016 23:14

I've been in your position. My friend would text me literally every three or four days with how big the baby was/what she'd bought/how she was doing the nursery etc... Luckily the friend and I were able to go out for coffee and talk it over-I said how I was really thrilled she was pregnant but finding the constant updates hard so could we just talk about it when we met up (unless there was any big news). She was embarrassed she'd been insensitive, and we moved on. It is easier now she has had the baby.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/01/2016 23:17

Well there is that side isnt there Beck. You do talk about it. You're rubbing people's nose's in it. If you don't they're not worthy enough for you to share your news with
Some times. It can be a case of damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

jemsywemsy · 27/01/2016 23:22

When you say you receive an update every day do you mean she sends you texts/speaks to you in person? Or is she just posting things on her FB?

Original poster
Jammo123 · 27/01/2016 23:26

Jemsy she sends constant 'bump videos' of the baby moving.

OP posts:
ifcatscouldtalk · 27/01/2016 23:30

Does seem insensitive such regular updates. I know this is different but when all my friends were having baby 2 or 3 and i knew i wasnt having more than my dd i use to dread people's pregnancy announcements, updates, scans although when said baby arrived and it was all sleepless nights i was strangely less envious. I do hope you do concieve soon and maybe a " im so thrilled for you but these constant updates are very difficult for me" comment would make your friend think twice. You are not horrible at all.

jemsywemsy · 27/01/2016 23:33

Oh love. That must be very very hard for you and she's being grossly insensitive. If she's normally a good friend then talk to her about it, maybe she's just in her pregnancy bubble and sends this out to a few people not thinking about your situation and will be mortified about it. If she's normally a crap friend then stop returning messages and phase her out. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time x

Only1scoop · 27/01/2016 23:35

Gosh what a selfish friend she is.

Also agree with pp terribly boring stuff unless it's you.

She's quite insensitive if she knows your position

Orange1969 · 27/01/2016 23:41

Sending videos of her baby moving inside her belly? I have to say that is really insensitive of her..,

Mmmmcake123 · 27/01/2016 23:42

I normally like the phrase pregnancy bubble, but she seems to be in a very 'precious' bubble. It's possible she really doesn't want to come across as though she is treating you differently as that could be offensive in itself. Still not very nice to endure.
Cake good luck conceiving x

Hihohoho1 · 28/01/2016 00:09

Not feeling this pregnancy bubble really!

Being pregnant doesn't negate you from being an insensitive tit head.

Op tell your friend how you feel.

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