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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed and put out by this

28 replies

WhyIRayLiotta · 20/01/2016 16:29

I have changed details so as not to out myself.

My friend and I run a business together. Have done for 4 years. It's doing Ok, but is picking up momentum and we feel that it's taking off a bit.

We named the company 4 years ago. Her name & my name (our first names)

However. My first name is a surname also. And so to some the business looks like 1 persons name - ie: first name & surname.

Now my AIBU: friend has been dating a guy who has my name as a surname! So... AIBU to worry that IF they marry, and she takes his name, the company will look like it's all hers.

This is hypothetical as they're not even engaged... But they are going great and seems to be headed that way. God it sounds so trivial written down Blush

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 20/01/2016 16:33

What do you expect her to do, dump him?

If it bothers you that much, raise it with your friend to change the name of the business.

FWIW, I don't think the average person seeing Nancy & Smith would go "Oh, Nancy Smith". Maybe relook at your branding to emphasise the ampersand?

Katenka · 20/01/2016 16:33

Yabu. None of this is on purpose and may not even happen

MLGs · 20/01/2016 16:33

Not to anyone who knows you though! And to others, why would it matter? You will still get the money from your business which is main thing.

CaptainCrunch · 20/01/2016 16:35

That's really freaky, my SIL ran a business with a friend and the exact same thing happened! This was about 25 years ago. It niggled her so much she managed to persuade her business partner to change the name of the company using her maiden surname instead.

Not sure if you're being U or not, but it's just so weird to see this happening to someone else.

IHeartKingThistle · 20/01/2016 16:37

That is a brilliant AIBU! Sorry, it is!

So ok, the company name goes her name + your name? Any possibility of changing the order of the names?

Does she know you're concerned about it?

Yes it does sound a bit funny written down but I know if it was me I would be very annoyed about it!

Hygge · 20/01/2016 16:40

Do you mean, for example, her name is Laura and your name is Ashley?

And so you've either called your business Laura & Ashley or Laura Ashley?

And now she might get married and actually be called Laura Ashley?

I suppose the confusion would depend on if you have the & in there or not. Perhaps if not, you could add one in. That might solve the problem without a dramatic change.

NewYearSameMe · 20/01/2016 16:55

She might not change her name if or when she gets married anyway, not everybody does. Although I think if I was naming a business in your position I probably would have put the surname-sounding name first or put 'and' in between. So if you are Kelly and she is Melissa (random names picked) I would have gone with 'Kelly Melissa' or 'Melissa & Kelly' or 'Kelly & Melissa'.

Original poster
WhyIRayLiotta · 20/01/2016 16:57

Thank you Hygge could only think of my own name but Laura and Ashley illustrates it. So now my mate Laura is going out with Jim Ashley!

I know you are right. But over the last year or so, we've done a lot of work with our social media etc, and on there it's just LauraAshley and in our branding the ampersand is small and inside another letter as it looked cool, but back then (a year ago, just before they started going out) it wasn't an issue at all!

I think it's the fact that over Christmas all our friends were taking the piss about her being psychic/ knowing she'd end up with that name etc, and I feel like they'd even forgotten it's not all her name - it's my name too! Sad

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 20/01/2016 17:01

Tell the guy she's just changed the name of the company two weeks ago because she says she KNOWS he's going to ask her to marry him.

That oughtta do it! Wink

SuperCee7 · 20/01/2016 17:04

😂 I don't think you've jumped to an unreasonable conclusion tbh but there really isn't anything you can do/say.

steff13 · 20/01/2016 17:04

Although I think if I was naming a business in your position I probably would have put the surname-sounding name first or put 'and' in between.

That's what I would have done, too. If there isn't an "&" between the names, you could maybe add one now.

But, yes, I think you are being unreasonable, and getting ahead of yourself. A lot of people thought Badgley Mischka was a person's name, but it's actually two surnames. It hasn't hurt them any.

Original poster
WhyIRayLiotta · 20/01/2016 17:18

Thanks, but telling me what I should've done 4 years ago isn't gonna help Wink and not to drip feed - but my name as a surname isn't common at all at home (where we are both from - the sticks!) so it wasn't a consideration, as my name as a first name is much more common there - but not where we are now. And we just kinda went for alphabetical / sounded better that way-a-round.

balloon slayer don't think that's an option now!

Ok, I'll just have to suck it up now I suppose. I hate feeling like an employee in a company I created!

OP posts:
blindsider · 20/01/2016 17:24

It sounds like there is more going on than just the names - who cares what people think as long as you receive half the dosh.

Is she behaving like it is her company??

Stumbletrip40 · 20/01/2016 17:43

do you have the ownership legally written down somewhere? As long as the 50/50 split is in a contract somewhere why worry about it at all? It doesn't matter how it looks, as long as you can get the money!

littledrummergirl · 20/01/2016 17:46

Time for a change of image, alter the font and shove the & symbol in.

NewYearSameMe · 20/01/2016 17:49

Why would you feel like an employee in your own company? Ownership is more than just the name of company.

SquinkiesRule · 20/01/2016 17:54

So if you marry her boyfriend instead you would be Ashley Ashley? Grin no help sorry.

RatherBeRiding · 20/01/2016 18:11

Yes - time for a rebrand. Companies do it all the time. No need to completely change the name but tweak it so it is obvious it is two separate names.

I assume that as you are a 50% owner of the company this won't be a probelm?

Jux · 20/01/2016 18:16

It's about time you rebrabded isn't it. Get new letterheads etc with the & larger and a more noticable colour and any other way of emphaising it you can think of.

Or don't worry about it Grin+

AcrossthePond55 · 20/01/2016 18:33

Tell the truth. It's Ashley Madison, isn't it?

If you don't want to add an & to the name, would there be the possibility of changing the name altogether?

"XXX, I don't think our name reflects who we are or what our company does. Maybe we should change it from Ashley Madison to 'SlutzRUs', what do you think?"

Obvs just kidding about the Ashley Madison, but you get my drift, right?

Katenka · 20/01/2016 18:36

I hate feeling like an employee in a company I created!

and you all of a sudden feel like an employee because her boyfriends name is the same as your name and your friends made a joke?

amarmai · 20/01/2016 18:41

put your name first then & and her name.

PuppyMonkey · 20/01/2016 18:49

Could you tweak the logo slightly so that the & becomes bigger and people realise it's not one full name?

Original poster
WhyIRayLiotta · 20/01/2016 21:35

I think I feel like an employee as, occasionally OK one person has phoned up and asked to speak to Laura, for no reason other than I think he assumes she's the boss, as it's her name!

I will try and have a chat with her about it, the next time it's mentioned (in a joke by someone) I do feel though, that of the shoe were on the other foot, I'd have considered how she'd feel about it.

And as for the money - yes everything is 50/50, there's not much money in it , as we are trying hard to get our name (!) out there and drum up more clients, which is going really well. I think that as we've had a few higher profile jobs in the last few months, and more on the cards - and the business starting to sell itself, I feel as if I don't mention it now, I'll just have to suck it up forever, as it'll be too late to change it.

I'm not Ashley Madison!! But another good name example! Flowers

OP posts:
Hygge · 20/01/2016 23:38

Lots of companies update their logo.

Maybe you could suggest doing this, and making sure you have a great big & between the two names this time, just to make the difference a bit more obvious. Maybe also put your names in different colours to make them stand out as different.

The fact that the business is starting to pick up might mean it's just the right time to do a bit of updating. If you have a website it might be the time to update your blurb as well, to make it very clearly you co-founded the business and are equal partners.