To stay in a job that I hate

[Headdesk]

My job is really starting to wear me down. without going into too much detail to out me. It makes me miserable and exhausted. I can't leave though, for one reason I don't think I'd be able to find another job that pays this amount of money for the hours I work (I have other very important commitments that my jobs needs to fit around). But the main reason is, I love my boss, she's awesome and she made a real effort to keep me in the company when there were people being made redundant. I don't really know what to do, but I dread having to go to work every morning. I am in a customer service based role and I'm not even exaggerating when I say I get abuse every single day, sworn at, threatened, everything. I know how lucky I am to have a job but I'm just constantly exhausted :( my dp keeps telling me to switch jobs if I'm so unhappy but I don't want to risk the security I have with this job. (It took me a long time to find this job).

Could you look for something else in the meantime, just apply for things that are really appealing? Do you have a Linkedin profile? I get approached by recruiters all the time on there and then they'll do the work for you.

I do sympathise. I hate my job but it's a very steady company and it's nice to have that security. Also love my boss and think she would actually be quite sad if she knew how unhappy I was, and then I'd feel bad!

I think the main reason is I wouldn't want to tell her I was leaving :( after all the effort she went through to keep me there, I'd feel like I was betraying her a bit.

It's lovely that your boss is nice enough to inspire such devotion. But it's still not a good enough reason to put up with being made miserable every single day. Start serious job hunting now, before you end up having to go off sick with stress related depression.

I already have depression, this doesn't help.
I know I HAVE to find a new job but I just feel horrible about it.

What Alpaca said. Set a deadline to dig out your CV, update it, get on LinkedIn if your role is likely to get scouted on there, send CV to recruiters in your field.

If your supervisor is facing similar stress/abuse she may be planning to leave herself, and you'll find things even tougher.

You must be very good at what you are doing.
Have your CV ready and start looking.
You will otherwise make yourself very unwell staying where you feel like you do now.

Me and dp were planning to relocate in the summer and I was happy because that would have given me an excuse to go but things have come up within means we have to stay another year.

The thought of another year just fills me with dread