to ask about hair removal for 12yo dd

[dogdaydisaster]

DD12 (Y8) has asked if she can get a shaver for her leg hair. I have no problem with this in principle, but wonder if shaving is her best option. She's a red head and the hair on hr legs is really really fair, and I wonder if once she starts shaving she'll end up with dark stubble? Is there a better way that she can deal with it, given that her hair is so fair?

There's no way she'd go for waxing as she has zero pain tolerance. She has agreed to wait while we decide what to do, as she's as keen as I am to avoid scratchy stubble if she can, and I don't think she's in a huge hurry, but I'm guessing by spring/summer she'll be getting more bothered by it.

I'd be really grateful for any advice on what would be best for her, many thanks.

I started shaving my leg around that age. Later changed to using epi thingy. It's a lot better than shaving, because hair goes thinner and less and less over time.
Now they have better things like "No-no", or what ever, which claims no pain.
Even my very old epi thingy doesn't hurt so much. It's quite expensive compared to shaver, but it's worth it.

Dd uses a Gillette razor thing with the Olay head on it as then you don't need shaving gel. She doesn't shave often, just when the hair is long enough to annoy her again.

I started shaving at this age as some girls would make comments about hairy legs in PE. Although my hair is dark, with fair hair I can understand why you prefer to wait. What about underarms? This was bad for me at that age too.

Ibthink its a total myth about hair coming back thicker and darker. I started about then. Use an eliplator.

Not sure why it would come through dark if she's fair haired?

I'd say lady shave. Shaving can't change the hair and make " it grow back thick and black" It'll be the same thickness and colour but blunt and spiky. Maybe let her stroke your shaved legs!

The reason I say electric shaver is she isn't going to cut herself, and also she isn't going to block the bathroom for hours doing it!

i have 2 DDs and they have gone through obsessive " shave every day" phases but now don't bother so much as thick tights are the thing. DD2 now applies make up ( all be it skill fully and subtly) for ages instead!

I think if she wants to shave you need to be supportive though, both as it's a good mum thing to do and also otherwise she'll be knicking dads razor and making a complete blood bath of things !

my mam stopped me from doing hair removal when I started secondary school and it was horrendous - I'm very dark haired & hairy and didn't help with my self-esteem!

when she did let me (I was going on holiday aged 12) we used hair removal cream but it was crap, time consuming and a faff on. I eventually moved to razors and might as well have just started off with them anyway. If it did grow back darker, it gets shaved off again.

If you do let her shave, PLEASE teach/show her how. My mam never did and I totally butchered myself! :|

I find a ladyshaver doesn't give a close shave so that's why we went for the razor

I have very light, fair hair and I hardly ever have to shave. It won't make the hair grow back thick it's all bollocks. The only other pain free option is the no-no, not sure if it works or not but worth a try.

Anything that takes the hair out from the root will hurt, unfortunately (although I've never tried the No No, how does it work?). At that age I'd probably just let her shave, she can always move to waxing down the line.

Oh and hair removal cream but that's crap IME

Depends on how you think she'd cope with a razor, when I used to shave I used Venus and they were good. If you're concerned about cutting herself then perhaps an electric shaver would be better?

Personally I'd avoid waxing, epilator or anything like that as her skin might still be a little sensitive until she's finished puberty.

Hair regrowth may appear darker and coarser but that's more because of the cut end making it look that way. Make sure she understands that unless she's prepared to remove hair regularly it may stand out more for this reason once she starts.

If you can afford it I would start with waxing and only ever wax - the hair will eventually stop growing - especially if it's fair and blond. Shaving encourages hair growth, not sure if it does grow back thicker, but it feels thicker when shaving due to the blunt edge of the hairs. Wish I'd never shaved.

My two DDs (16 & 13) use veet shower removal cream. It doesn't leave stubble and is a bit of a faff so they don't do it too often. Only for special occasions. They shave their armpits with one of the razors with built in soap. Don't tend to cut themselves then.

I have to say if her hair is that fair and fine I'd let her wax, it shouldn't be too painful and the cosmetic results are much better than shaving. I'm not sure about shaving making hair thick and dark but I'm mousy brown and the hair on my arms and thighs is fine and blond, the hair on my lower legs is thick and dark (if I let it grow) and I've shaved my legs for most of my adult life (I wax for holidays).
When my daughter decides she needs to epilate I'll be pointing her towards waxing-unless there's something better in 7years time.

Thanks all, that's really helpful. I don't know where I heard it would grow back dark but glad it's a myth. I have no problem with her doing it, more that it would be a shame if she ended up with really stubbly hair when her hair is so fine to start with. I'll see if she fancies trying an epilator or waxing and see how that goes.

I have fair leg hair and I disagree about waxing. Often the beautician misses bits because it's fair and he results aren't great. Shaving is fine, it doesn't grow back any thicker and being fair she prob won't need to do it very often.

I've made a conscious decision to do things very differently to how I was brought up (periods, hair removal, 30E breasts at 12 all very shameful). So took a big grown up deep breath and am light and breezy about all of this (quite hard!). But with 3 DD's growing up way too fast I have to be the grown-up!

When DD1 wanted to start shaving her legs at 12 (blonde fine hair) I bought new razors and shave gel and showed her how. Lots of eye rolling - but she has managed since without major incident. She does them every sunday night (underarms were done as soon as she was hairy - at 10).

Whichever method, keep it light, and please show her how!

Dd has a go with the razor in the bath and then gets me to check if she has missed bits - normally at her ankles and bits at the back. She uses the ones with the built in soap so doesn't need shaving gel

Do they still do those mitt things you rub the hair off with? They weren't dear, or painful.

Really fair hair can be trimmed and almost be invisible, so shaving might not even be needed.

Totally disagree with the PP's who say it doesn't cause it to come back darker and thicker. It certainly did with me! Waxing is definitely the way forward, or an epilator, but that hurts too and takes longer. As others have said if she's not got that much hair it won't hurt that much. My eldest DD is dark haired, dark skinned and is very hairy. She even has hair on her lower back, which has already bothered her and she's only 7. When she starts asking I'll be encouraging her to wax. I started shaving at 10 (even though mum had said no) and it made my hair growth SO much worse.

I'm a redhead with fair body hair. I've been shaving my legs for - bloody hell, about 35 years. It's never come back dark or stubbly either. I'd be wary of hair removal cream unless you are sure she doesn't have sensitive skin - many redheads do. I agree with the person who said waxing isn't great for people with fair fine body hair. Shaving or mits definitely the way to go. No need for epilating if the hair is fine.

Notime - there does seem to be a difference between redheads and others on the body hair front. I have one strawberry blonde DD and one darker one and there is a big difference between them. And there;s a massive difference between me (ginge) and my brown haired sister.

It's lovely that you're supporting your DD, OP. My Mum was a bit old fashioned about things like this and I learned the hard way nearly amputated own leg .

I allowed my DD to start shaving at around 10 as she had really hairy legs and was being teased at school. I offered to show her how to do this properly and with a new razor and "ladies" shaving gel. She was quite private about her body at this point as she had started her periods two years earlier. She ran a bath and got in and asked me to come and show her how to do it. Bless her, she was in the bath wearing a swimming costume!! That was a surreal experience!! Anyway, she got the hang of it very quickly, remains an "every other day" shaver now she is 17 and has been fine with it. I would let your DD use whatever method she is comfortable with but agree with others that hair removal cream is rubbish.