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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think maybe i offended him...

13 replies

chickenlickentheskythesky · 01/01/2016 21:54

went on a first date yesterday, was good fun.

it was pretty cold out so as we we were leaving restaurant, he kind of draped his jacket round me as i was shivering despite wearing a thick coat! he on the other hand was only wearing a shirt and thin jacket...

i kindly gave it back to him, and was like no, no, youll freeze!

my friends are now saying I should have taken it, and I might have made him feel like less of a man?! i know it's silly but really, do men think like that?

OP posts:

LordBrightside · 01/01/2016 21:57

Total nonsense. A lot of women really don't understand men at all.

MoMoTy · 01/01/2016 21:57

Yanbu, you were being practical and he was being sweet. Your friends are overthinking it.

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 01/01/2016 21:57

Yes....
Men do like to be able look after a woman.... (well some do).

PS, I have a bit of insight into this one...

BlueRaptor · 01/01/2016 21:58

I'm sure he probably appreciated you saying no if it was chilly out! It was kind of him to offer, however I'm sure he's thought no more of it and shouldn't be offended :)

Original poster

chickenlickentheskythesky · 01/01/2016 21:59

ahhhhhhh i really didnt mean to though!

i can see were theyre coming from but equally, i wasnt cold and he was clearly frozen!! i'm not going to accept his jacket just to let him be gentlemanly?!

OP posts:

Helmetbymidnight · 01/01/2016 22:00

Why would that/could that possibly be offensive?!

If he gets in touch or doesn't, it won't be because of that.

Wolfiefan · 01/01/2016 22:00

If he's really so insecure he honestly isn't worth a second date!

TimeToMuskUp · 01/01/2016 22:01

God no, all that thinking men have to be gentlemanly at the expense of themselves is nonsense. I wouldn't freeze for DH and I wouldn't expect him to freeze for me.

How did the date go, aside from that bit?

PurpleDaisies · 01/01/2016 22:01

I agree your friends are over analysing this-if he seriously decides not to call you over the coat thing he definitely isn't right for you anyway.

TheRadiantAerynSun · 01/01/2016 22:03

It was nice of him to offer and it was fine for you to refuse.

You really don't want to be bothering by the kind of person that would be offended by something like that anyway.

Original poster

chickenlickentheskythesky · 01/01/2016 22:04

it was really good!!

we got tipsy and giggly, and have arranged another date for tonight - not sure if realistically we'll be able to see each other again as he's moving abroad in a couple of months and we live four hours away from each other - but will be nice while it lasts

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2016 22:16

"Less of a man"?

Are your friends from the 1950s?

Doobigetta · 01/01/2016 22:34

I'd say if he really couldn't handle you not accepting his jacket that signals "controlling" to me. You might have had a lucky escape.

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