To just do our own Christmas next year?

[FlameProofBoots]

We've hosted Christmas for various people for years now, the ILs, my cousin, and this year my parents and sister. I've found most of it stressful, the kids always want to stay here and I respect that but my family in particular are very precious about the Christmas dinner and that becomes the whole focus of the day.

This year my mum and sister did all the cooking but rather than finding it restful it was just even more stressful having the two of them take over my kitchen. And my mum did a cat sucking a lemon face at every drink I had. The kids had a lovely day but felt the presents were rushed because we were in and out of the kitchen.

So wibu to just have ourselves next year? I can do a roast dinner with much less fanfare and not have to worry about the disapproval of others if it's not up to scratch.

It seems odd to me as we've never done it before without company and I worry it might feel a bit flat. But I think it could be really nice.

AIBU?

We had a great Christmas this year, called in at SILs for mince pies and prosecco at 11, home for Christmas dinner just the 5 of us and then had our best friends round in the evening.
It helps that we all live within walking distance of each other and that we all like each other!
I was worried that the day would feel a bit flat with it just being us during the day as we usually have an entire houseful but it was lovely and relaxed, I played a few games with the Dc and we were able to keep on top of the clearing up as we went along, and then the evening was party time.

We're doing this next year! Argh. Too many people and too much travelling this year.

I've never done anything else - I see friends and family on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day

Flame, I can see your point. I think that if people are guests they should accept with good grace the Christmas dinner that you cook for them, even if it is different from what they would choose to have themselves.

Perhaps you would do better to have your parents come late afternoon or early evening on Christmas day, but not for the meal; or on the next day for lunch? It spreads out the present unwrapping as well and you can all watch at your leisure.

We've done it the last two years but also live miles from family. We had a little roast chicken, some trimmings but mostly the usual roast dinner. Ended up watching 3 films and spending the day in the lounge despite it looking a tip!

Have parents/friends/family over in the evening

No of course not. Why on earth would you be unreasonable to have the Christmas Day that you want? Why are their wants more important than yours? Do it, enjoy it.

We did a small Christmas at home this year and it was great. PJs and a roast with presents.

DH says it's saved Christmas for him. Last year was... I can't talk about it.

As long as no one is left on their own then why not.

We did it this year. Just us, 3yo DD and baby DS and we invited an elderly neighbour in for a mince pie in the evening. It was lovely and relaxing- baby napped in his own bed, 3yo wasn't overwhelmed - Dh and I felt no stress. Loved it. Was always just my immediate family as kids and I loved it so it suited me

Yes of course you can just have your immediate family. Once you have said what you want tell you family! You do not have to give a reason or excuse! (Although you may feel better for giving an explanation!).

We did our own thing this Christmas Day and saw friends & family on Boxing Day.

Is it "hosting" when they come to you, and then do the cooking in your kitchen?

Sod that.

Why don't you do presents with your children/DH in the morning and then go to theirs for dinner if they are so precious? Unless they live miles away, that is.

Seems very stressful for no apparent reason.

I host every year and we do presents all morning at a leisurely pace. I bung a dinner in front of everyone at about 3pm and if they don't like it I guess they don't have to return next year! Simple.

We do xmas in our own home every year. Sometimes we have company, sometimes it's just the core family.

The one thing that doesn't change is that if folk are joining us for xmas then they are joining us for OUR xmas, the way WE do it. (We obviously do it pretty well as we have return guests :))

I would rather poke my eyes out with a desert spoon than have someone else take over my kitchen!

We eat at 1ish and do tree prezzies in the pm. (Stockings are opened at the crack of dawn, of course).

Presents in the afternoon stops certain members of the family nodding off and snoring on the sofa!

We had just us for Christmas this year for the first time. The lack of stress was ... remarkable. On Christmas Eve we waved off the ILs, then went to the crib service, and the pub for tea. The DC were keen for an early night, but I managed to stay awake for Midnight Mass. All on our own terms though!

On Christmas Day we only opened the door to let the cats in and out. We didn't bother getting dressed; we didn't have a big roast; we had a fry up and party food and chocolates. We played with the new toys and put a Star Wars film on.

We probably won't get to do it again (multiple catsbum faces even though nobody would be alone) but it was very much worth it once. Weird and not necessarily festive, but peaceful and low key.