To be stressed about Xmas prep and annoyed with dh?

[CocktailQueen]

So we have a full house over Christmas - 10 people for several days. So far I have done all the Xmas prep - bought all presents, wrapped all presents, written cards. For the first time I have left dh to do his side of the family and friends. I have been planning all the things we need to do to tidy the house and get organised for Xmas and our food order is coming Monday. I have done all the meal planning, trying to think of everything so everything is lovely.

A while ago dh was full of things he could cook beforehand then freeze before Xmas. He's done none of this.

This morning dh complains that the crumpets are burnt and he can't eat them. Then leaves them scattered on the work top. Aibu to get cross with him and tell him he's a lazy twit and I'm fed up doing all the menu planning, shopping and cooking? Ffs.

I know I am stressed about it, as we talked about it yesterday. But his response is to go all huffy and not acknowledge that I have a point and he is a lazy twat who leaves everything to me.

God. The joys of Christmas. And crap wife work.

His burning the crumpets is nothing whatsoever to do with the wider Christmas plans. So get cross about it only to the extent you'd get cross about it if he's done it in October. Because yes, he should clear up,after messing up, but that's year round.

You need to talk to him about Christmas, separately and when you are calm. From you post, it is clear that the two of you have taken far too much on, and that if you had known how flakey he was going to be, it would never have reached that level.

It is also clear that there are differences in expectations about what needs to be done, but it's less clear how that came about.

It's too late to do much to scale back, but you need to find a way to get through this without having simmering resentment.

And then read "Wifework" as a New a Year treat.

YANBU
I overheard a lady at work say yesterday
"Xmas is just a day in the kitchen for me, I miss all the fun"
That's not how it should be but inevitably it sometimes is
Sit DH down and tell him what needs doing. I find if I spell it out in black and white he's quite happy to crack on. He can't use his initiative tho, not where Xmas is concerned

I have Wifework! That's why I referenced it!

And dh didn't burn. The crumpets. I bought them, he thought they were too brown already and he couldn't possibly toast them and make them browner.

Think I will make a list of what is to be done and when. Then divide it.

Still no excuse not to leave the place tidy - give him the shopping