AIBU to make him sweat a bit?

[StillMedusa]

I have a lovely husband. Kind, loving, great dad and DIY-er. But I do EVERYTHING for xmas. I have bought and wrapped nigh on 100 presents for our large family. I wlll do the shopping and prepare food for 12 people for Xmas...no biggy, I enjoy it.

BUT I asked this year if he could personally get me an xmas gift, wrap it. Rather than me buying my own and wrapping it myself!

So tonight he muttered about getting me a present. I had told him weeks ago that I would love a silver bangle. Has he remembered? NOPE.

He swears I haven't told him. I have.. several times. To be honest I'm not in the least bothered about receiving a gift.. my happiness is about having my family home around me, but after 27 years of buying my own xmas pressies, aibu to make him try and remember.. sweat a bit?!

*trying to forget the year he bought me an ironing board! Oh and 'the very best of Celine Dion' cd.!!! He is the best bloke in every other way but I'd really like him to make an effort just this once!

Email him a link to the style you like. Don't set him up to fail.

Yanbu, but be careful so you don't end up with a new kettle or some other shite.

Give him a wishlist so he at least has an idea to go off of if the present is your concern.

I'm a bit skeptical about the whole "is loving, kind" and being a good dad is expected, not bonus points if he has never thought you were worth the effort to get you a Christmas present.

What does he do to show he is loving and kind?

How can he not know what you like after being married to you? Surely he must have some idea of what you like.

It's not hard to buy a present. It's really not. You know, because you buy 100 of them every year.

He just can't be bothered. That would really annoy me.

I've never seen being good at DIY given in a short list of a partner's qualities before. He must be really good at putting shelves up.

Sorry, yanbu. He should have listened, taken note, researched and gone shopping sooner than 6 days before Christmas. That isn't expecting much at all.

In future an Amazon wish list or a 'things I'd like' Pinterest board might be useful and no subtlety when pointing him in their direction. Then he has things to choose from so still has to put thought in and you still get a surprise but it'll be something you definitely like.

Although he should be putting thought in by himself.

Oh but yabu waiting for him to remember on his own. That's not going to happen.

DP is shite at presents. He doesn't get the subtle hints thing. It's easier for both of us if I give him a list or go with him. You can still be caring and loving just shut at presents and not into buying them.

Whereas I love thinking up ideas of what to get everyone, and hauling ass around the shops buying them...

Only a tiny minority of people actually enjoy it, but they get on and do it, because they care about the recipient.

And man, some of the utter handholding men apparently seem to need, according to this thread. Most men really aren't this pathetic.

You should start to care a bit more about receiving a gift that you've pretty much done all-but buy. It is not too much to ask. It's a slippery slope..

Dh used to be pretty shit at buying gifts.

I once got a concrete tortoise garden ornament. I don't like tortoises and don't like going out in the garden either. That's not even the worse one.

But he has got better. But getting there has been a road of several fallouts.

Honestly though we have been together 15 years and I am finding it difficult to come up with something original every year. This year has been a real struggle.

He must have lots of time on his hands as well, I'm assuming he doesn't work?

He couldn't could he as he seems barely competent to bumble through the day, poor dear.

Next year get him to 50% of the prep, that's 50% of the thinking too.

It's shit isn't it
Well I would make him sweat on Xmas morning on whether or not he has a present from you at all

He is not good at DIY if he can't Do buying his wife a Christmas present His bloody Self.

I'm afraid you've enabled him for 27 years by buying and wrapping your own present, so why is it different this year?

I wouldn't have got to year two with him, but you've put up with it for over quarter of a century and are now annoyed all of a sudden?

Wagglebees... he really is .
I guess a wishlist on Amazon is the way to go..hadn't thought of that! I'll put a few ideas on now! (LOTS maybe in case guilt is the way forward :D)

He really IS lovely to me in every other way.. he works long hours but does equal shares in everything,will do anything for anyone, he just lacks imagination really, whereas I enjoy picking picking up things when I hear family members mention they would like X,Y etc.

I shall start training him via pinterest and amazon and see what happens! Might be a bit late for this year but by next Xmas perhaps!

Equal shares in everything except getting you a present it seems. Hope you haven't spent too long deliberating what to get him!

He could just go to the shops, and buy you a bracelet. How hard can that be?

Sorry but I think you lot are being a bit hard on crap present buyers. Some of them probably do try hard..... Too hard! That's why they come away with such junk! Different people are good at different things and for some people, it isn't choosing good presents! It doesn't necessarily make them a crap OH!

How can you try too hard and end up with an ironing board??.

Oh I'll look at some diamond rings, oh no, that's not enough, I'll try a bit harder and get... an ironing board

Nope, not seeing it