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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what contribution your partner makes to the Christmas preparations?

207 replies

harrietflies · 16/12/2015 23:34

I'm curious. DP works from home two days per week, then is away for two days then off for three days. I'm my opinion he has ample time to have done something (anything) to contribute to the Christmas preparations for his large family and our three dc. However, he hasn't bought a single present, doesn't know what the kids want or are getting, has done no wrapping, hasn't arranged any of the elf on the shelf scenarios (we both agreed to start the tradition) or thought about food or guests or ideas for his family to get the kids.

OP posts:
BackInTheRealWorld · 16/12/2015 23:35

Money.

LemonySmithit · 16/12/2015 23:36

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovelamp82 · 16/12/2015 23:38

Have you asked him to?

LemonySmithit · 16/12/2015 23:38

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DawnOfTheDoggers · 16/12/2015 23:38

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shiteforbrains · 16/12/2015 23:39

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0christmastree5 · 16/12/2015 23:40

Money and

Original poster
harrietflies · 16/12/2015 23:40

Oh and I also pay and do all the shopping with four kids to care for singlehandedly too.

OP posts:
Catzpyjamas · 16/12/2015 23:41

DH collected and paid for the new tree I reserved then put it up in the wrong place and kept asking me where things were for it while I was trying to do something else

Other than that, he's come shopping ONCE and learned not to ask why there's no food in the house. (I haven't done any food shopping for a week as I am doing absolutely everything else).

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 16/12/2015 23:42

We do most of it together apart from the bastard wrapping that my job

Original poster
harrietflies · 16/12/2015 23:42

I don't think I should have to ask him to be interested in his family at Christmas, surely he should want to do something?

OP posts:
thequickbrownfox · 16/12/2015 23:42

Bugger. All.

Then he has the cheek to waffle on about how we've all gone daft spending way too much money and the kids don't even appreciate it!

[explodes]

CheesyNachos · 16/12/2015 23:42

I do gifts and cards and wrapping. I order the food, do menu planning and guest bedrooms. he does not argue with anything I do. Grin. He is sous chef for the meal Christmas day, and does way more than his share of cleaning up. He does drink pouring and most of the conversation stuff with guests (which i find a bit difficult).

Piratepete1 · 16/12/2015 23:42

Money! Christmas Day is as much a surprise to DH as the children.

BackInTheRealWorld · 16/12/2015 23:43

Has it always been that way?
Cos if you have allowed it for four children's worth of Christmas it seems a funny thing to suddenly get the arse about now...

thequickbrownfox · 16/12/2015 23:43

Four kids to do in this house too, it's such fun not.

AnyoneButSanta · 16/12/2015 23:43

He paid for his own Xmas present because it was more convenient to have it delivered to his office, and he carried it home (not a trivial task). And he's bought a couple of presents for the DC on my direction from shops near his work. Otherwise not a lot so far, but he will cook Xmas dinner and do all the holiday driving to see relatives which is quite a large share of the work.

Pyjamaface · 16/12/2015 23:44

We discuss what we are buying for everybody, he'll search online for stuff and he deals with the tape when we do the wrapping.

He also helps sort the decorations, and does food for xmas eve as I always work.

I do most of the shopping because I have more time than he does but everything else is fairly even

60sname · 16/12/2015 23:45

We each choose presents and send cards for our side of the family/friends. I wrap because he is crap at it and I have more time this year as on mat leave.

Ninkynonkrinkydonk · 16/12/2015 23:46

He bought my present. And he rang up a place to get a gift voucher when I told him to. And he's wrapped some selection boxes when I sat him down with all the paper and told him to. And he's pretended to listen while I read out the Christmas food shop list before checking out. And he's not asked any questions about where his wages have gone the past couple of months! Grin

Ninkynonkrinkydonk · 16/12/2015 23:47

I'm much better at all this stuff than he is. He's good at getting the baby to sleep and cleaning the kitchen after dinner. It all works out.

Themodernuriahheep · 16/12/2015 23:47

He buys a present for me, mostly, and usually one for DS. He writes the Christmas cards. Which means addressing them and writing in them " from the modern heaps. " and sticking the stamps on. And posting them . Tis a huge job.. Grin

CheesyNachos · 16/12/2015 23:48

Yeah, I would say we are about even too. I love to cook and hate to clean. So he takes instructions from me to help with the cooking then does all the cleaning. I cannot stand sitting for hours chatting, so he does that. I am crap at playing with presents with children so he does that. The only thing i do that i detest which he does not are the cards. I do the food ordering (meat etc) but he does the standing in line to pick it up. We have a pretty good routine going on.

Junosmum · 16/12/2015 23:49

He buys for his family, buys the tree and decorates it. If he didn't the tree wouldn't go up until Christmas eve or not at all if we aren't at home Christmas day.

Pobspits · 16/12/2015 23:49

Dh works full time. We have 2 dc. I am a student and do voluntary work.

He pays for it. That's it.