to ask what contribution your partner makes to the Christmas preparations?

[harrietflies]

I'm curious. DP works from home two days per week, then is away for two days then off for three days. I'm my opinion he has ample time to have done something (anything) to contribute to the Christmas preparations for his large family and our three dc. However, he hasn't bought a single present, doesn't know what the kids want or are getting, has done no wrapping, hasn't arranged any of the elf on the shelf scenarios (we both agreed to start the tradition) or thought about food or guests or ideas for his family to get the kids.

He helps pick out the presents. I have tasked him with half the stocking stuffers/small gifts for DD. It'll be interesting to see what he picks out (so far it's good stuff I wouldn't have thought of).

He works all hours under the sun to pay for it and nods occasionally when I suggest what to get for his family members

He usually picks my present up a couple of days before Christmas but he's a little more organised this year and bought something already but i bet he still asks me for some wrapping paper on Christmas Eve!

Nowt.

DH does vast majority.

DCs do pretty much everything else.

I applaud and appreciate. Christmas coincides with my busiest time at work.

Left to me we wouldnt be ready for Christmas until April.

DH and DCs are available for hire for a small fee

DH:
Gets the tree down, puts it up and puts the lights on.
Buys presents for me and his family (who don't actually exchange gifts )
Does half of the DC gift buying
Does all of the people organising (arranging visits and visitors)
Writes all the cards
Provides all the tea and other drinks on the day
Preps and cooks the veg
Does all the washing up and cleaning up

I:
Make the tree look pretty
Buy for him and all my family
Do about half the DC gift buying
Wrap everything
Organise the food shopping
Plan the meal
Cook everything except the veg
Do the food for the boxing day party

I think that's fairly even (I think I have the nicer jobs too) and no I didn't have to ask. It's just what we do.

He did the tree, chose his family presents and does dinner

I instruct and time manage and wrap

He buys for his family and friends and does his Christmas cards. He also buys my gifts. I do the wrapping (apart from my gifts) because he does struggle with that. He makes batches of fudge as extra gifts for people and does all the food shopping with me although I do plan what we will have. He shares putting up the decorations and will share the hosting with me as well. Christmas dinner will be cooked jointly.

I wouldn't accept anything less to be honest as we both work full time.

He works unreasonably long hours, but will do pretty much anything I ask when he is here: He gets the decs out of the loft, peels and preps all the veg on Christmas day, does the driving, gets my gift and a few extras for dd as he likes to choose her a few bits on top of what I have bought already and he is imaginative with those. I love preparing for the festive break and don't find it in the least bit stressful so it is no problem that the majority of it falls to me. Oh, and he normally does breakfast on Christmas day.

We both bought the tree, he put it together whilst I decorated it as he was cooking dinner.

We'll both wrap presents as he's much better at it than me. I bought the presents for the dc, he buys for his family. We both wrote cards, he does his family and friends, I do mine.

On Christmas day we both cook.

Can't believe some of the posts on here.

DH has done about half the preparations. We have both chosen stuff for DCs and our families. He has done shopping, I have done shopping. We have spent the evenings this week wrapping presents together. I have written all the cards, but he has done the food shop online.

We will both cook Christmas dinner.

Money, bought a fair few of the presents online and will cook/clean up on Christmas day. He's been working nearly every day in December so I think that's fair.

DH has ordered a lot of gifts for DC and family.
He had ordered all the food and drink.
He has put up a tree and will do the outside lights etc this weekend.

Before our guests arrive he will help get rooms ready, wash and dry glassware and then hand out food and drink for the duration.

I was half-considering starting a thread on this question but you've beaten me to it, OP.

Dh doesn't do much. He wouldn't do anything if I didn't tell him what to do, actually. I've told him what I want as a present, since he has a history of buying utterly random and useless gifts and it's safer to specify.

Other than that, he doesn't have anyone else to buy for (no family on his side), and we don't have dcs. So I do all the presents for him and for my family (and pay for them). I do all the organising, planning and pretty much all advance food shopping, and 99% of the cooking. Put up the decorations, since he wouldn't bother. This year we're having my parents to stay (think fairly frail, poor health, lots of hovering and worrying involved on my part), and I'm already feeling fraught.

He doesn't actively set out to be miserable/unhelpful but he doesn't really see the point of Christmas or indeed most things so simply doesn't think about any of it unless I issue massively detailed instructions on the most basic of levels, so it's easier/quicker to do it myself, frankly.

Oh, just remembered, he send Christmas cards to the people he knows. That's all he does off his own bat.

Yes, I know it's all wrong, but that was usefully cathartic, thanks

DP pays for it, then moans about how much I've spend. I agreed to let him put the ribbon on a present for our niece, so I'll redo that when I finish putting the hampers together. He's also pickled some onions and made some fudge.

I've done cards, decorating, buying, baking, jam-making, and the rest of the wrapping.

DH supplies the money, he occasionally pays attention when i say what im getting each of the Dcs. He has been an picked up some of the presents and he will be doing the food shop since he is cooking christmas dinner. Oh and hes wrapping the tricky presents too as i lost the will to live and the scissors

Loads! I don't want to sound unbearably smug. But we both aren't huge fans for ourselves but enjoy the giving and hosting aspects, so we work together as we get a kick out of full and content friends and family all having a chat or just cosy and warm in a house that (for special occasions) looks fantastic. Oh stuff it. We do good

He has been better this year than most and started buying one or two gifts a week for our DC and our nieces/nephews from 8 weeks back (we have a large family). He also helps wrap our DC's presents, we are usually up until gone midnight xmas eve doing it together, but seem to be more organised this year.
He also buys the turkey and most of the food we have over Christmas.

He shops for and writes /wraps his family cards and presents. If I see something I know they would like I pick it up but it's mostly him. He found and ordered ds1 (his dss) main present and a few other things, found and ordered a lot of Ds2's gifts. He also found and bought some of my exH's gifts
He helped with wrapping although I really only let him do his family presents. He has also distributed some around.
He will take control of the food shop with input from me and we are still deciding who will cook but with just us and Ds2 at home, we will just see what happens on the day. He will be peeling though lol.
He took over the Christmas tree lights when I had a hissy fit until I had a hissy fit at him. Good Christmas memories being made! :/

He is off sick until February but think we did the same last year.

We went Christmas shopping together and picked ds1 presents. I wrapped it all.

He chose and wrote his own families cards.

He sorted his family's presents but I helped with his mum and sisters and did a bit of running about as they wanted specific make up items he didn't have a clue. He's yet to wrap them I will probably do it as I enjoy it.

He got the Christmas tree from the loft and ds decorated it.

He ordered my present.

We shopped for food together.

He found ds Santa letter online and printed it out.

Normally
I choose all the pressies with DW.
1 or 2 shopping trips with DW plus 1 shopping trip on my own.
Decorate the house.
Agree food shopping list.
Go and do food shopping with DW.
Cook breakfast, dinner and tea on Christmas day (an most other times while I'm off)

DP does a lot of the present buying and has more ideas for older DC than me due to their shared love of gaming. He also does most of the wrapping and cooks the meal. The last 2 years he has done absolutely everything as 2 years ago I had a MC in Dec and then last year I had a 5 day old newborn on Xmas day. I'm enjoying being more involved this year!

He has 3 jobs- 1, get a tree,2, get presents for his family (though they're the kind of family who don't really bother too much unless they're going to be seeing each other), 3, get me a present.
This year he had the cheek to question whether number 3 was really necessary

My Dh gets a list of little jobs I can't be arsed with. I do most of it because I have the most time. He isn't psychic, hence the list. You need to communicate with your dh op. If he actively refuses the that's a whole other issue!

Gets the tree/decorations out.
Cooks Christmas dinner.
Helps clear up afterwards and washes up.

I decorate the tree, do the Christmas shop and help drink all the Baileys

He also buys his family's presents/cards too.