Aib pfb or is this distracting? (Weaning)

[chumbler]

We are doing baby led weaning with out 8mo. We eat regularly with family and bil is always distracting dd, waving, clapping, chatting to dd loads. My DD loves it but is this a bit distracting for when DD should be concentrating on eating or am I being pfb? When DD eats at home with us we just leave her to it, chat to her occasionally but generally we just enjoy the meal together rather than entertaining dd

The world isn't quiet though is it? Better that she learns to eat in noisy and distracting situations as well as calm, peaceful ones then you have much more chance of her being happy to get on with it whatever else is going on.

Both are fine.

Say oiy Bil she is eating her dinner tbf its not a huge deal but if she isnt eating her food you could ask him nicely to stop till she is finished you wouldnt distract an 8 yr old like that so why a baby

I think it's nice he interacts with his niece.

YABU,

You make it sound like "enjoy the meal together" is sitting in silence eating if you only "occasionally" talk to each other.

I don't think a child needs to concentrate on eating, it's not a hugely difficult skill, and enjoying her uncles chats sounds much more fun.

Sitting together and enjoying the meal in a group is part of mealtime.

Not sure what baby led weaning entails though, does it need extra concentration on the part of baby? I just gave them some food and they either ate it or rubbed it into the table didn't.

Thanks all. I think I'm just looking for reasons to be cross with bil (lots of small irritants!) Yes it's lovely they have such a good relationship :)

reni2 By blw I mean she as all the food on her highchair and picks up what she'd like to eat. Rather than spoon feeding.

YANBU. I disagree with the pp's and completely get what you mean.

My dad is like this. He just will not leave the dc alone, especially when they're eating. No, of course you don't have to eat in silence and a 'normal' level of interaction and chat and all the rest is lovely when you're eating a meal.

But my dad would clap and talk to them and go 'Oh dgc look, look at this long piece of spaghetti! Wow do you think I can get it all in in one go? Let's see how long it takes me!'. He required full attention. He'd start singing bloody songs and everything when they were toddlers. Result? One captive audience for my dad and a plate full of untouched grub in front of the dc. It's fucking annoying. Interact with them after they've eaten.

Just ask politely, or do it through your dc to be less direct. 'Oh dc isn't BIL funny! Right then, crack on with eating now and i'm sure you can play/sing[insert annoying distracting activity here] again when we're finished'. With big smiles.

Goes to show what I know- turns out I did blw, but I just called it 'giving baby food' . An entertaining uncle would have been a bonus had one been at hand.

Blw is about allowing the child to build a positive relationship with food, I'd say he is helping isn't he? She will have some great memories of meal times as she gets older.

I don't think a child needs to concentrate on eating

Really?

I struggle to understand how anyone with a child could think this tbh! Have you (general) really never told your child to get on with their meal? Because they're talking too much, messing around, fiddling with their little toe or whatever.

Kids are exceptionally easy to distract IME! Even the 'good' ones!

YANBU. He can interact with her after dinner. Tell him to not to distract her during mealtimes as she needs time to explore her food.

Reading about BLW. Fascinating, I totally re-invented the wheel not knowing there is a wheel, as did my mother before me. We just called it eating. People buy books about this !

Yabu. As you say you are just looking at reasons to be annoyed at him.

It's not a big deal.

Why not just eat with them less?

I can understand you're annoyed about this - my granddad was like this when eating with my son, and my son was too busy being distracted to eat his food. Chatting is fine, it's the "up in your face" thing that is a bit annoying. Wouldn't fall out over it though :p

My DD eats better when she is a bit distracted. If we're eating out somewhere she just keeps stuffing it in her mouth. When we're just at home she gets bored and starts chucking things on the floor much more quickly.
Unless BIL is at every meal, or she literally doesn't eat anything when he's there, I wouldn't worry. It's good for them to get used to eating / sleeping / playing in different environments. You haven't said whether she eats any different when he's doing this so like you say I reckon you are just finding things to get annoyed with him about. I totally sympathise with that - I'm like that with my MIL, she is OTT protective and hover-y with DD which annoys me so much, when she does something sensible like stops her chewing on an electrical plug I'm like "GODS sake woman stop interfering!" (in my head!)

I think there's a balance, a happy medium. No-one wants to sit and eat in utter silence, but equally eating with SummerNights dad sounds like a bit of a nightmare too.

Eating is a social activity, and it's nice to get round the table together and enjoy conversation as well as the meal - but most of us can judge the right level, and don't turn into an all-singing, all-dancing cabaret performer, so that others present are transfixed, open mouthed, whilst their food goes cold in front of them.

Chumbler - do you think your bil's conversation is making your dd eat much more slowly/much less? If it is, perhaps you could have a tactful word and ask him to dial it back a couple of notches - and if it isn't, and your dd is enjoying both her uncle's antics and her dinner, then there's no problem.

My little one eats loads better when there are distractions about - she seems to just eat without a fuss!

If we feed her separately to us we get more fussiness than if we all eat together which isn't practical in the week.

If it's totally distracting her from eating, then yes you have a point. If not, then I don't see the issue. Sounds fun for her.