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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH could have done grocery shop today?

31 replies

OopsEEDaisyButtercup · 05/12/2015 18:24

I've not been well, so instead of carrying on regardless as I usually do, I told DH I really needed a slob out day. Trouble is, he decided to have one too & now kids are hungry. As I didn't do my usual trip to supermarket there's nothing in. AIBU to think that instead of sitting on the sofa watching crap tv with me, he could have done the shop?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2015 18:27

Did he know you've run out of food?

LindyHemming · 05/12/2015 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fatherwishmas · 05/12/2015 18:29

Pizza?

PissPotPourri · 05/12/2015 18:32

Trouble is, I find, that when you have kids you lose entitlement (although it would be nice) to slob out days. A slob out few hours, maybe.
Plus, slobbing out doesn't take away your ability to communicate. If you knew the kids wouldn't have anything to eat unless a shop was done, you could have just mentioned it to him... Sure, in an ideal world he'd have just known and done it without being asked, but still, it's just a conversation!

rollonthesummer · 05/12/2015 18:33

Wouldn't it have been better to have a conversation about this with him this morning?!!

You: I feel crap and need to slob out today, but we've got no food.
DH: ok-I'll do the shopping.

Rather than spending all day on the sofa with him next to you, not mentioning it and leaving it until everyone's hungry, then moaning about it on here?

MsJamieFraser · 05/12/2015 18:33

who does the cooking in your house, did he know there was no food in?

in our house it would not be a big deal, yes he could have went shopping however in our house unless we told each other there was no meal, then both of us would just assume there was a meal to be made.

Original poster

OopsEEDaisyButtercup · 05/12/2015 18:35

Oh yes, he knew! Just thinks that a takeaway is the obvious answer. Maybe in this instance it is! At the end of the day I'm as happy with fish n chips as the kids will be so perhaps this time IABU.

OP posts:

Original poster

OopsEEDaisyButtercup · 05/12/2015 18:38

...now that I've slobbed enough & am starting to feel hungry myself!

OP posts:

Enjolrass · 05/12/2015 18:46

Dh does all our cooking so he would tell me if we needed food.

Isn't today a perfect day to have a takeaway though really?

Original poster

OopsEEDaisyButtercup · 05/12/2015 19:08

Enjolrass: yeah, IABU - make mine a pie & chips & don't spare the horses!

OP posts:

Fatherwishmas · 05/12/2015 19:08

I would write a shopping list and send him to the supermarket tonight after kids in bed.

lorelei9 · 05/12/2015 19:08

he's not ill and he decided not to do any shopping even though it needs doing? That's crap.

YANBU.

I don't think you should have to say to him "there's no food in" and if he wants a takeaway then I guess he has noticed, so he's not gone to the supermarket because he couldn't be arsed, I guess. If he knew you were going to shop today, yes, he should have gone.

rollonthesummer · 06/12/2015 13:06

This could have been sorted out with a simple conversation.

LouisaGlasson · 06/12/2015 13:23

Yanbu. I don't get why an adult wouldn't know whether there was food in their own home or not. Or work out for himself that if there were none that it needed buying. He knew his children needed feeding, he could have thought about it. You do get to have a slob out day when you have children if you have a partner who supports you in having one.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 06/12/2015 15:11

Let me guess, OP, as you're the one who normally does the food shop he doesn't have to give it any thought whatsoever because it's your job. It's like the food fairies deliver it.

Supermanspants · 06/12/2015 15:37

Oh FFS what really?

There's always one.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 06/12/2015 16:23

Yes, really Superman. He only realised there was no food in the house when it was meal time, which implies he's used to it just being there, i.e. that he doesn't think about it because someone else does. When that "other person" doesn't do that job why did it not occur to him that maybe, just maybe, it might need to be done by someone else, i.e. him? If he's anything like one of my exes the response would be "oh, I didn't think of that" of course he didn't think, he had his brain in fucking neutral

WorraLiberty · 06/12/2015 16:33

The OP didn't do her usual trip to the supermarket.

If she usually does it, then how was he supposed to know she didn't?

It would be weird to constantly search the freezer and cupboards to check for food, on the off chance the person who usually does the shopping, suddenly didn't and forgot to tell you.

All the OP had to do was mention she hadn't done the shopping and then he might have done it.

shutupandshop · 06/12/2015 16:36

I would of said, DH GO AND GET FOOD please. Just get a take away.

Supermanspants · 06/12/2015 16:42

Oh enough of the bloody strikethroughs What. You'll be telling her to LTB next

Topseyt · 06/12/2015 16:49

Takeaway. Job done.

Why make an argument out of it if you can avoid it?

I must admit that a takeaway sounds rather tempting here too. Having had to be out most of the day yesterday and then again today, I am finding it hard to convince myself to start cooking. DH might be getting his orders if I decide I can't be arsed. I'm currently on the fence about it.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 06/12/2015 17:41

"The OP didn't do her usual trip to the supermarket."
"If she usually does it, then how was he supposed to know she didn't?"

Because OP said "I've not been well, so instead of carrying on regardless as I usually do, I told DH I really needed a slob out day." But instead of him thinking "Oh, OopsEE normally does the grocery shop on Saturdays, but she's just told me she's not doing anything today because she's ill. Hmm, maybe that means she's not getting the groceries. Perhaps I should go and do it". However, you're right, it's easier to just tell him to do it, but I find it a little sad that there are so many stories on MN of men just not thinking about this boring domestic stuff until it affects them. It's just stuff someone else does and they don't have to think about.

"Oh enough of the bloody strikethroughs What. You'll be telling her to LTB next"

Nah Super, I'm usually right at the end of the LTB queue and in the scheme of things this is minor. No LTB from me, just slight irritation.

SoupDragon · 06/12/2015 17:47

Honestly, I think the perfect end to a slob out day is indeed a takeaway. Your DH is right there.

OK, it would have been nice if he'd thought to go do the normal shop but I'm not sure I could get worked up About it if he's normally helpful.

He only realised there was no food in the house when it was meal time

Sometimes I only realise there is no food in the house when it's meal time and I'm a single parent and thus responsible for absolutely everything!

Supermanspants · 06/12/2015 17:51

You are overthinking this What
There are 'jobs' my DH does that I don't think about or consider. Likewise, there are 'jobs' that I do that DH does not think about of consider.

What does that say about us?

BondJayneBond · 06/12/2015 19:26

The biggest problem with no-one doing the normal shop, at least in my house, wouldn't be the takeaway for tea, but the lack of food for meals the next day.

DH probably wouldn't think about this unless prompted either. He doesn't even think about things only he uses until they run out. He got very upset earlier this week because we were entirely out of coffee. Even asked me why I hadn't ordered any when I'd done the online shop the day before. Thing is, DH is the only person in our house who drinks coffee. I drink tea and I think coffee tastes vile. Most regular visitors drink tea. And somehow, no matter how often I point this out, it never occurs to DH that all this means that I wouldn't normally notice the coffee level getting lower and lower.

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