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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think losing weight is a battle I just can't win

161 replies

starshaker · 17/11/2015 22:06

I am trying so hard and it's not working. If anything I'm putting weight on. I go to the gym 3 times a week and follow a meal plan. On the days I don't go to the gym I do exercise at home and will walk at least 4 miles a day with my dogs.

I have pcos and am on anti depressants. I feel like I can't win against them

OP posts:
Oly5 · 17/11/2015 22:10

Are your goals realistic? What's our BMI? Maybe you are just trying to get too thin? My BMI is 26 and I know I'm at least a stone overweight. I'm struggling to lose weight too but I'm thinking of joining slimming world to do it

Original poster
starshaker · 17/11/2015 22:16

My bmi is 43. I could lose 6 stone and still be overweight. I'm eating what I'm told. I'm exercising lots but its not working

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 17/11/2015 22:18

Are you eating enough? Serious question. Eating too little can be detrimental.

How long have you been at it?

WhatamessIgotinto · 17/11/2015 22:21

Yes you can do it. What plan are you following?

tacky · 17/11/2015 22:21

it is VERY hard. I find using fitness pal a life saver. You type in what you have eaten (you have to weigh your food) and it calculates all calories etc on it.

I find without this it is so easy to under (maybe over for some but under for me) calculate what I have actually eaten weight wise.

All your exercise sounds fantastic and definitely is very important but accurate eating is even more important to see results

talkinpeace · 17/11/2015 22:22

Stop trying to lose weight.
Stop thinking that exercise will help you lose weight.
Work out your TDEE
Work out your TDEE at your happy weight.

Log what you are eating in MyFitnessPal (set it to maintain for now)
Be brutally honest with yourself about every morsel and sip that passes your lips including the inhaled tub of Ben & Jerrys

at the same time write down how you feel about each thing you eat

Once you can eat mindfully
with awareness of what you eat and why, it will become much easier to bring it under your control.
Nobody else can make you do it. You have to want to be happy size more than you want a biscuit.

The ADs and the PCOS will not help
as they are both well known for causing weight gain
BUT
both can be mitigated by eating distinct meals with gaps in between.

You can do it if you really want.
You just have to decide what you really want.

whitershadeofpale · 17/11/2015 22:23

Could you maybe list what you're eating here? Something is wrong, with that BMI (and I've been obese in the past), weight should come off quite easily to begin with.

mudandmayhem01 · 17/11/2015 22:23

How long have ( being totally honest) been exercising everyday and following your meal plan. Unless your meal plan is completely ridiculous you cant fail to lose weight if you stick with this.

wowfudge · 17/11/2015 22:24

What is TDEE?

Original poster
starshaker · 17/11/2015 22:25

I am eating what I'm told.

I have toast spinach and poached eggs for breakfast
Lunch is a pitta bread with hummus and salad
Dinner is a normal family meal

If I snack its veg or fruit (but not too much). Like I said my gym has given me a meal plan and I stick to it

OP posts:
Original poster
starshaker · 17/11/2015 22:27

I've been going to the gym for a month but I have been exercising for about 2. I have a treadmill at home and use YouTube for exercise videos

OP posts:
whitershadeofpale · 17/11/2015 22:29

Are you weighing things because based on what you've said, depending on the evening meal (and toast on butter, salad dressing etc) I could see how your not lose weight. They're not low calorie options (and high carb if that's a consideration for you).

mudandmayhem01 · 17/11/2015 22:30

How long have you been doing this for?,your food sounds ok but what is your portion size like. Snacking on fruit and veg should be ok if it is more veg than fruit.

Original poster
starshaker · 17/11/2015 22:35

No butter on the toast and no dressing on the salad. Tonight's evening meal was chicken pie (a hairy bikers low cal recipe) and lots of veg. I don't really eat potatoes (kids don't like them) rice makes me bloated and pasta I can only have small quantities

OP posts:
mudandmayhem01 · 17/11/2015 22:40

Stick with that for a few weeks ( no cheating!) and you will lose weight despite the extra challenges you face health wise.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 17/11/2015 22:43

and don't forget that if you are exercising it may not be showing on the scales but more in how your clothes fit according to your body changes.

Mermaidhair1 · 17/11/2015 22:46

Whatever you are doing isn't working. Who gave you the plan to follow? You need to work out exactly how many calories you are eating a day, Although the food you mentioned seems healthy it is to many calories. You need to focus on diet first, Exercise is important but you won't be loosing many calories exercising. How long do you walk for and at what pace? You can do this you just need the correct information.

Cookingongas · 17/11/2015 22:46

I have pcos. It's hard. But it can be done. I found with my fitness pal ( slimming world, low carb etc don't work long term for me with this condition)I lost weight. I didn't at first because I restricted to 1209cals. Which the personal trainer set me. With a ( boring and very short term realistic meal plan) It was only when I increased to 1600 that I succeeded.

The gym shouldn't be dictating what you're eating. It's far better for you to log it yourself , acknowledge what you consume, it's calorific value and find a healthy balance for you.

It's not a losing battle. But it's a very very hard battle.

MuttonWasAGoose · 17/11/2015 22:51

I'm going to assume that you're not secretly over-eating. I know this is possible because my husband is very similar to you. He weighs over 20 stone and even if he cuts down to 1300 calories a day he doesn't lose weight. He doesn't cheat - he does slightly daft things like eat only Tesco ready meals/salads because the calories are printed on the label - but he's not eating more calories than that.

Some people have metabolisms that absolutely do fuck with them. I would say that you may need to eat more. And steady state cardio (ie, burning off X amount of calories on a treadmill for thirty minutes) actually doesn't make anyone lose weight. Circuit training or other forms of intense intervals helps and so does lifting heavy weights like a body builder. Those affect the metabolism in ways that simply running doesn't. However, the long walks with the dogs is a good thing - low-impact cardio like walking for an hour or more a day does help lose weight.

Moopsboopsmum · 17/11/2015 23:15

Keep at it and don't give up. Losing weight can take time. I have been trying to reduce and get fit for over 6 months and am only now seeing results! Good luck OP.

waitingimpatient · 17/11/2015 23:19

Get thyroid function checked

whois · 18/11/2015 00:28

Have you checked your portion control? It is very easy to eat the 'right' things but wolf down shit loads of calories via a lunch of pita and humous.

To be honest, whenever I have felt I've needed to restrict calories for a bit I find it so much easier eating pre-prepared foods like the m&s fuller for longer things. Because then you can really easily track in MFP what you're eating. Much harder when you're cooking yourself and estimating how much oil you used etc.

whois · 18/11/2015 00:31

Without being mean, if you have 6 stone to loose it's quite likely that you've lost sight of a 'normal' portion of food.

What is a 'little bit' of fruit and veg when you snack? One Apple? Still 80 kcal or so which is a decent chunk out of a weight loss calories count.

Lostcat2 · 18/11/2015 00:34

Eat less and more op.

It's just harder than we all think and it's easy to think we eat less and excercise more.

Look put simply and badly there were no fatties in prison/ concentration camps. . No glands keeping those poor people fat.

It's not magic. Eat less move more.

CakeMountain · 18/11/2015 00:39

Hmmm, to be honest, if I ate that I would not lose weight and may even gain it. I am 5 feet 8 inches and fairly active. I think there is quite a lot there - could you cut back on all the bread at all?