Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School should have contacted me

27 replies

Runningoutofnamesagain · 13/11/2015 20:18

Ds felt unwell today, sore throat and headache and couldn't eat lunch

He went to the medical room and they apparently told him they would call me as his temperature was 38 so that I could bring medicine in or collect him.

The thing is, nobody called me and then ds was sent back to class??
He was really unwell when I picked him up and I don't understand what happened

I asked and was told yes it was recorded in book that he had a temperature and was unwell. They couldn't explain about why he was told they would call me but actually didn't and why a sick child was sent back to class ???

I'm very annoyed they didn't contact me

OP posts:
londonrach · 13/11/2015 20:19

How old is he?

Original poster
Runningoutofnamesagain · 13/11/2015 20:22

9

OP posts:
Tartyflette · 13/11/2015 20:24

Someone screwed up and they are covering their arses.

Original poster
Runningoutofnamesagain · 13/11/2015 20:26

He was so obviously unwell and could barely speak I do t understand why they didn't call me like they had told him they were doing

He had an even higher temperature when he got home and is currently really poorly and in bed poor thing

OP posts:
Jftbo74 · 13/11/2015 20:28

I would write a formal complaint to the head. Someone has failed in their duty of care to your son. There shouldn't be a repeat.

queenofthepirates · 13/11/2015 20:30

I think I might just put it in writing to the head, asking him or her to have a look at it and see where things went wrong. Give them a chance to respond and then decide if you want to take action.

Hope your little man feels better soon

Original poster
Runningoutofnamesagain · 13/11/2015 20:33

It's the second time this week they've failed inform me of an issue with ds
Wed he was hurt and had to be showered etc and I wasn't told and today this ??

I'm very very unhappy with the school

OP posts:
CFSsucks · 13/11/2015 20:36

Are you the one who posted about that horrible child being physical with your DS? Pushing his face in the mud so he couldn't breathe etc?

If it is then kick up a stink at that school. They are ineffectual at best.

If not, complain that your clearly ill child should have been sent home, not back to class and you aren't happy and want them to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Supermanspants · 13/11/2015 20:36

and then decide if you want to take action

What sort of action?

OP, let the head know. It may well be a break down in communication or someone had meant to call you but might have been sidelined by another issue. Not ideal but it happens. The school environment can be unpredictable at times.

Supermanspants · 13/11/2015 20:37

Seen your last post..... that is really not good.

Original poster
Runningoutofnamesagain · 13/11/2015 20:43

Yes. The school will not deal with that incident either I spoke with the deputy head today who called the incident "rough play" and said it was "just a blip in the other child's behaviour choices"

OP posts:
wearymum73 · 13/11/2015 20:52

My DS school phones me every time he feels poorly, and Insist I collect him. If he isn't poorly when I send him to school then I feel like he should stay there, he can manage the rest of the day at 1pm.
He has been marked down absent for 2 sessions already this year (only 2 afternoons) I have to take a half a day off work and his attendance is marked down.
So AIBU

CFSsucks · 13/11/2015 21:23

That's disgusting. So your child has to suffer at this hands of this other child and it's a fucking blip in their behaviour choices!

I have zero experience but I could not let this lie. I'd also reconsider a school that didn't have the welfare of my child at its heart. They sound awful. Can you go to the LEA or something?

Mombino · 13/11/2015 21:24

A 'blip'? A fucking BLIP? Ok now I'm feeling very stabby on your behalf OP. What on earth does this school think it's doing????? My dog's kennels are more attentive than your son's teachers Angry

Can you ask to see the head, and threaten a complaint to the governors?

SaltMarshPirate · 13/11/2015 21:30

This is awful. You need to put it in writing to the head teacher. Next step would be a letter to the governors (mention this in your letter to the head) then the LEA. The 'behaviour choice' comment would have enraged me beyond belief. Get a copy of policies from website if you can. I say this as a teacher.

ILoveMyCaravan · 13/11/2015 21:33

Please don't accept the excuse of 'rough play'. I had that with my two DC in primary school. It got to the stage where I was frightened to send them in. The physical bullying became too much and the school would not take any responsibility or stop it happening. When one of the bullies tried to stop my child breathing by putting his hand over his nose and mouth very tightly, the deputy head said 'oh, but he's got such a lovely smile (the bully), and kept him in for one break time.

This was an 'outstanding' primary.

I now home educate.

Original poster
Runningoutofnamesagain · 13/11/2015 21:45

I'm just astounded that they've approached the problem like this. It's almost victim blaming. The fact that ds has at some point played with this child has gone against him (he did go through a phase in yr1/2 of trying very hard to get along with him in the hopes he would play nicely and then what the teachers are calling 'rough play' but which from ds accounts just sounds like self defence/him trying desperately to get this child off him :(

They've turned it all around and said "oh but 'x' has been much better behaved the last 3-4 weeks" and "it's just a blip in his behaviour choices" really? ? I pointed out that ds is consistently getting hurt and even if he has in the past played with this child, once the game turned nasty and ds has been hurt or said 'stop' and it's been ignored it is then a very different matter that needs dealing with

After today's incident as well with ds being kept at school very unwell I'm extremely upset. So, on Monday morning I will be in school yet again trying to get to the bottom of why his needs are being overlooked completely in more than one area

OP posts:
DolphinsPlayground · 13/11/2015 21:51

Do you have a diary of events? If so, copy it down in a letter to the head. Then hand it over when you speak to him. Then when you get home, write an email detailing the conversation and promises made etc. word it in a way diachronic as thanks for the conversation today I understand you will be doing x y z. Get EVERTHING in writing. I cannot stress this enough. And even though I wouldn't want to send him in, I would and give it a week then if it continues pull him out, say they are failing to safeguard him and go to the governors. (In the initial letter quote the blip comment too)

AnneElliott · 13/11/2015 21:55

That's terrible. I think you have to be firm with the school. DS school tried the same re rough play. They wouldn't tell the other kids parents, and only did so when I informed the Head that I was going to visit the parents and tell them myself.

You need to put it in writing and if you don't get a satisfactory response then escalate to the Governors and then the LEA.

Original poster
Runningoutofnamesagain · 16/11/2015 16:20

Spoke to school again

The bullying issue in ongoing. The problem on Friday was apparently because they had the wrong number for me and no other numbers ???? I pointed out that they should have my mobile number and dhs
I was then told it's a different system from the school office so when I changed the details there they didn't actually tell the welfare room so they had no number ?? It's sorted out now but really shouldnt have happened

OP posts:
DizzyBlondeMum2 · 16/11/2015 17:07

Does school have a bullying policy? It should be available often on the website. You can refer to it in your letter and the steps you expect to be taken.

I've just had success taking this approach. Feeling your child isn't safe at school is the worst thing. [Flowers] hang in there and stay strong.

SmokeAlarmsSaveLives · 16/11/2015 17:14

I'm a school governor, please make a formal complaint to the chair of governors detailing everything that has gone on. Be factual and try not to get emotional, let the facts speak for themselves, I've had to investigate parental complaints and it is often quite hard to get a clear picture when the facts are hidden in an emotional rant. A chronological list of events using bullet points is very helpful (and often more damning).
This school is really failing you and your child!

Nanny0gg · 16/11/2015 18:01

If he isn't poorly when I send him to school then I feel like he should stay there, he can manage the rest of the day at 1pm. He has been marked down absent for 2 sessions already this year (only 2 afternoons) I have to take a half a day off work and his attendance is marked down.

You do realise children can go downhill during the day, yes?

If they're ill then it's an authorised absence.

GruntledOne · 16/11/2015 18:29

Blip in the other child's behaviour choices or not, the fact remains that the school has a duty to keep your child safe. Tell them you want to know what safeguarding procedures are in place for the future and precisely what they are going to do to keep your child safe from the other one. Get a copy of their bullying and discipline policies and ask them to set out precisely what they're doing to implement them.

Ionacat · 16/11/2015 18:47

Find a copy of the school complaints policy and follow it to the letter. It should explain how to escalate it if you don't get an appropriate response. You need to create a polite and firm stink, get everything in writing including emails to confirm actions at meetings. I posted a link on the previous thread about how to complain, it is DFES after governors and you must have exhausted the complaints procedure first. If you have kept written records then it is very clear that the procedure has been followed. Keep copies of everything.