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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On Wedding Dresses

23 replies

MarianneSolong · 12/11/2015 10:17

If you are not planning to get married till 2017, is it reasonable to have bought your dress already>

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 12/11/2015 10:19

Yes, totally reasonable. If you find one you like why wouldn't you?

What's the back story?

waitingforsomething · 12/11/2015 10:19

Yes I bought mine over a year early

angelos02 · 12/11/2015 10:23

Personally, no. I still didn't have one a few months before I got married and couldn't believe the reactions I got from staff in the wedding shops. It is just a frock. My weight fluctuates quite alot mind. Can be a size 10 then a size 16 a few months later and vice versa.

Enjolrass · 12/11/2015 10:24

Depends I only booked my wedding a year in advance, took me 6 months to find one I liked.

But if you find one or want an expensive one (so you pay a deposit to secure and pay the rest off later) why not?

Original poster
MarianneSolong · 12/11/2015 10:30

The backstory is a relative. (Younger generation.) I think my generation tended to have slightly simpler weddings, with less advanced planning.

I was a bit struck by the way she's currently living. Sort of camping out in her current rented accommodation. Pictures on floor leaning against walls, rather than hung up. Plastic carrier bags on door handles rather than waste bins in kitchen and bathroom. But the wedding dress already purchased. (Date sometime in 2017, venue to be decided.)

Just seems a bit topsy-turvy to me.

OP posts:
JeffsanArsehole · 12/11/2015 10:33

I guess if you don't have a lot of money and your day to day life is a bit of a drudge then having one thing to look forward to seems fine.

Maybe the wedding and the dress represents her life starting in the future?

MaidOfStars · 12/11/2015 10:33

I bought mine about 15 months in advance. So mid summer 2010 for late summer 2011.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 12/11/2015 10:34

Meh, I don't really see how these things correlate to be honest.

I think it's less about the wedding dress and more about the fact that you are a bit Shock she is happy to continue living like a student rather than sorting out a "home".

Anybody can afford to buy a bin ffs. You can get them from poundland.

GastonsChestHair · 12/11/2015 10:38

We planned our wedding for 16 months and the dress was the first thing I bought.

weeblueberry · 12/11/2015 11:01

DP hasn't proposed (we've got two kids, it'll happen someday) and I've already pretty much chosen what I'd have. The only thing stopping me buying it outright would be that my weight fluctuates so much.

Enjolrass · 12/11/2015 12:23

So you think she has prioritised buy a dress over buying nails, a hammer and a bin?

It's nothing to do with being a different generation. It's to do with you judging how she lives and for some reason tying it to her buying a wedding dress.

If she wanted to hang the photos or get a bin, then she could afford to get those things and get a wedding dress.

It's sounds like you are frustrated with the way she lives and just getting annoyed at her over everything else.

LizardBreath · 12/11/2015 12:30

Ha, I'm a terrible one for the carrier bag thing (thought it was just me actually). Do have bins though, just lazy.

Also, got engaged Dec 2013 and get married Dec 2015. Tried first dress Jan 2014 didn't buy as 'too soon', tried on 100s since (no joke) went back and bought the first one in summer. If you know, you know I think.

Outfoxed · 12/11/2015 15:10

My sister bought hers before she was even engaged! Saw it in a vintage shop and just had to have it. Her and her fella had always said they didn't really see themselves getting married, but were engaged within 6 months of the wedding dress arriving in their house..,how's that for topsy turvey

DisappointedOne · 12/11/2015 15:44

Bought dress 2 weeks before wedding. Couldn't have cared less about it - would have rather wed in PJs.

TriJo · 12/11/2015 16:59

Bought mine a little over a year before my wedding - not unreasonable if she is getting married in early 2017/has a date set etc.

TeenAndTween · 12/11/2015 17:04

I'm amazed at all these long engagements. We were engaged for 6 months and that was quite long enough.

MaidOfStars · 12/11/2015 17:59

What if the venue needed to be booked a long time in advance?

Pohtaytoh · 12/11/2015 22:18

Marianne, if your relative has found her dress why shouldn't she purchase it? You haven't mentioned if she has the dress or has just placed an order. If she has it, it may be that it is a sample so she had to buy it there and then. If she has ordered it, it may be because the dress is being discontinued and would not be available to buy closer to the wedding.

For reference dresses can take 20 weeks to come in, a further 8 weeks to alter, and another week to be steamed. So if relative is getting married in early 2017 she's only 6 months 'early'

LizardBreath · 13/11/2015 00:04

Unfortunately teen, a lot of places are booked up literally years in advance. I wanted to get married around Christmas all dates at church /venue not available 2014 hence had to go for 2015. Obviously could get married any day at registry office but for various reasons didn't want to. I probably would have frowned upon long engagements until I had one, but actually I've really enjoyed it.

BackforGood · 13/11/2015 00:25

I suppose it depends

  • on how much your weight tends to fluctuate
  • on how much room you've got to store this dress
  • if it was a 'never to be repeated bargain'
and probably lots of other things but I don't see what' it's got to do with having pictures that aren't on the walls I have 2 pictures like that on my landing, and I've been married over 20 years or using carrier bags for bins though. Just don't see the connection at all.
Baconyum · 13/11/2015 06:43

Used to work in the business.

Depending on the style, designer (if from a specific collection), fabric etc it can take up to 6 months from order to delivery to store. Then there's alterations and pressing. Add to that the fact that once you know the style and colour of the dress it can make it easier to decide on other details, including bridesmaid dresses (which can take the same length of time to sort) the no she is not bu.

Also current stock is likely to be discontinued in January as new years designs start to come in and if the design she likes is not one that's selling well and is likely to be discontinued.

In addition I don't see the connection between her buying her dress and how she chooses to organise her home.

Baconyum · 13/11/2015 06:46

If the wedding is going to be spring/summer 2017 (spring/summer being the most popular time) she's got the timing right. If anything she might be cutting some things a little fine - eg some venues are booked 2-3 years in advance, likewise caterers, entertainment, photographers etc the good ones anyway.

annandale · 13/11/2015 06:59

I find it really difficult to save, so for me it's easier to pay for things over a long period by buying bits and pieces as I go. Perhaps she's the same.

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