Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to leave this whatsapp group?

20 replies

lifeinslowmotion · 10/11/2015 16:48

DP's family all live abroad. BIL lives in another European country and the rest of his family are still in the country where they were brought up.

We are all part of a whatsapp group which is used to update each other, chat and post pictures of the DC so they can see how they are growing and can feel a part of it even though they are 3,500 miles away.

Recently I have noticed that whenever I post photos on there nobody bothers replying yet when BIL does the same he gets lots of replies almost instantly.

There has been no row and I don't really understand what's going on but it feels like a waste of my time.

WIBU to leave the group?

OP posts:

ScribblerOnTheRoof · 10/11/2015 16:51

It will show you left and may cause animosity.

My advice? Mute the group via settings

Original poster

lifeinslowmotion · 10/11/2015 16:52

It's not jealousy or anything but I don't see the point in taking time to post photos and videos to not even get an acknowledgement that they have seen it. I feel quite hurt that they seem so disinterested.

OP posts:

museumum · 10/11/2015 16:52

Is BIL the blood sibling? I wouldn't expect to be as "close" to my dh's family as his own siblings are.

pluck · 10/11/2015 17:02

If you want to see others' pictures, by all means stay, but stop posting your own pictures, as they clearly aren't interested...

Original poster

lifeinslowmotion · 10/11/2015 17:04

Yes he is a blood sibling but I've noticed it's the same whether it's me posting or DP. He has stopped posting much recently and I think he is also feeling hurt by it but we haven't spoken about it really.

OP posts:

lushaliciousbob · 10/11/2015 17:05

I wouldn't leave it because it may cause a fall out but I'd just stop posting photos !

mamas12 · 10/11/2015 17:05

You could be a bit PA and ask them via the group whether or not they are all seeing them as you think there is a problem as no one comments it looks like you're not posting properly

Original poster

lifeinslowmotion · 10/11/2015 17:06

If they needed money they would be on the phone right away and telling us how much they miss us but the rest of the time they aren't bothered.

OP posts:

lifesalongsong · 10/11/2015 17:07

Why not just ignore the messages, it might not be worth the aggro of everyone else gettuing a message to say you've left the group

NicoleWatterson · 10/11/2015 17:07

I did this recently, it stopped a lot of angst!
I've not had the 'why have you left' conversation yet though. Not sure what to say, but I will be loosely honest.

pasturesgreen · 10/11/2015 17:09

As others have said, I'd just stop posting pictures. No point risking a family falling out for the sake of a WhatsApp group, imo.

ScribblerOnTheRoof · 10/11/2015 17:11

They sound like arseholes to be honest.

I am in one family group on whatsapp. At the moment it is just my brother in law, his kids and my sister in law.

Its fairly annoying

DoreenLethal · 10/11/2015 17:13

Perhaps both leave the group. Seems like a complete waste of time.

AlwaysHope1 · 10/11/2015 17:13

No don't leave the group, you can mute notifications instead. It's going to cause an issue and if you ever want to join again how will you.

SurlyValentine · 10/11/2015 17:20

I'd stop posting, mute the group and only look at their posts when I felt like it and had absolutely nothing else to do. Don't set yourself up to be ignored and made to feel marginalised by posting any more. If any of them ask you why you've not posted for ages, you can tell them that it seemed pointless as no-one ever commented when you did.

ShortcutButton · 10/11/2015 17:27

Are you sure they can see them?
You haven't messed up your privacy settings?

Original poster

lifeinslowmotion · 10/11/2015 17:28

I've muted the group for now. I messaged SIL this morning with some pictures. There is a particular craft she does which is quite niche and I found something I thought she would appreciate. She saw my messages this morning and hasn't replied. If it was a one off and she was busy it wouldn't bother me but it's not the first time.

Again she is happy to contact me when she wants supplies that she can't get over there and I pay for them and post them to her.

OP posts:

MarkingMyPlace9 · 10/11/2015 17:33

We have this with a couple of the Whatsapp Groups we have as a Family (One for my side, one for DH's side) Sometimes people reply and sometimes they don't. Sometimes there busy/miss it/or there just not interested! I don't comment on everything that everyone else writes depending on what it's about/what I'm doing at the time it comes through. But my BIL and soon to be SIL never comment on anything we put on there to do with DS, so I never comment on there Pics/Posts Immature I know

chocomochi · 10/11/2015 17:42

We have a few Whatsapp groups for different groups of families. I've stopped posting so much in the groups with no/few responses as I think if they can't be bothered then why should I? They are active on Fb too. What makes it worse is that they are the immediate family! It's rude when you ignore someone when talking to you, so why is it considered ok to ignore a message/photo.

The other group takes time to respond (time difference) and will always say something, even if it's a small gesture like a smiley emoji.

pluck · 10/11/2015 18:30

Oooh, SIL's shot herself in the foot with that one! Next time she demands materiaks, you can ssy you thought she was nonlonger interedted in x craft, as she never responded to your message. "Anyway, what do you think of loom bands?" She'll never know you haven't moved on to loom bands as, remember, she doesn't know a thing about you and doesn't give a damn! Off the crochet hook!

Flip