To ask for advice on how to approach this sensitive situation (potentially triggering)

[Aibuaddict]

I would really appreciate your views on this.

Some people close to us very sadly suffered a neonatal loss a little while back.

They have been extraordinarily strong in the face of such an awful event and have picked themselves up and continued to look to the future with positivity in a way I could not imagine being capable of.

Shortly after the loss, I discovered I was pregnant and have not had the chance to tell them yet. DH tried to set up a meeting with the husband of the couple but it hasn't been possible as they have been genuinely too busy.

We are now due to see them in a couple of weeks and I have a visible bump and am very obviously pregnant. They have amazing hearts and have never shown any resentment to others over fertility and children in the past though it would have been understandable. Do we need to tell them I'm pregnant before we meet or is face to face better?

Thanks in advance.

I think I would prefer to be told over the phone or text so I could react to it alone, and come to terms with it. Having suffered that kind of loss previously, and that way I wouldn't feel blind sided and have to put on a brave face (no matter how happy I am for the couple)

However, you know your friends best!

Congrats on your pregnancy!!

I would just send them an email saying you thought you had better let them know you are pregnant before you meet.

This will give them time to absorb it before being put on the spot.

Just because they seem strong it doesn't mean they are, us bereaved parents are very good at putting a front on, we have to be.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Thank you. I really appreciate your advice.

So sorry to hear you have experienced such heartbreaking loss. I will take your advice for sure.

Thank you for the congratulations.

Definitely tell them before. Explain that you had hoped to do it face to face through your DH but it hasn't worked out. They need time to absorb it privately. From what you say I am sure they'll be genuinely happy for you. Still though it will be difficult for them potentially. Congratulations by the way!