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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this normal these days?

17 replies

LisaD1 · 31/10/2015 11:08

DD has a party today, invites went out weeks ago.

This morning I have had 3 separate parents text me, 2 to say their child won't be staying for the food as have other plans and one to say their child won't get there until mid way thru the party as has another activity.

Is this rude (it is in my book), late minute crisis or ill child is one thing but bad planning just seems really rude.

I am fully prepared to be told IABU, I am really cross!

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 31/10/2015 11:11

Yes, if they knew about the clash before they should have said at the time.

Unexpected things happen - but to three different families at the same time on the same day it seems unlikely.

HappyHopefulStrongerAlone · 31/10/2015 11:12

YANBU. Either come or don't, but don't do this coming half way/leaving half way, it's very rude. Angry

IguanaTail · 31/10/2015 11:13

Yes rude.

fiorentina · 31/10/2015 11:14

I've recently replied to a party invite to say we have a clash and could my DS come part way through or not at all if less convenient. I would never have waited until the day. It's really rude in my book.

AuntieStella · 31/10/2015 11:16

If there's a family clash, then sometimes it might be necessary to say 'Daffodil would love to come to Peregrine's party, but we can't get her there until X o'clock. Does that still work for you?'

But that should be done at the time of the RSVP, not on the day itself (unless it's based on unforeseeable crisis).

amazonqueen · 31/10/2015 11:16

If 3 people told me their child was leaving before the food I would be serving the food right at the start of the party just for a change.

But thats the way I am.
They are rude rude rude

Let them deal with a fed child taken away from the fun part .

IguanaTail · 31/10/2015 11:17

Sounds like they've had a better offer but still want both party bags.

EponasWildDaughter · 31/10/2015 11:20

is this normal these days?

It seems to be from what i read here OP. Lots of threads by posters being let down at the last minute by party guests.

Is it that these days we can text, thereby avoiding the face to face awkwardness or phone call? Do people get up and decide they just cant be arsed? What do they tell the DCs? Confused

Original poster
LisaD1 · 31/10/2015 11:20

If it was at home I wouldn't care but it's an external venue, the activity first then the food, everything is already paid for too.

And I did have one parent tell me at the time of the invite her child had another party but wanted to come to both and could do so if he left 10 minutes early, but equally if that didn't suit me he would decline, that was perfectly ok with me as gave me a choice and an idea of how many to cater for.

and IguanaTail I am not giving out party bags until after the food so if they don't stay they won't get one ;-)

OP posts:
Flowerpower41 · 31/10/2015 11:26

I just think a lot of parents/people ARE rude as I have had the odd experience where I questioned manners too.

I always make it my job to answer things immediately as otherwise everything would pile up and life gets on top of you so for me it is best to answer invites asap. But then that is the way I do things and it wouldn't be for everybody. I am just a bit anal about correspondence and invites etc.

IguanaTail · 31/10/2015 11:29

Good - build up so there is the most fun game and competition at the end - keep going on about it so when Mr and Mrs Rude collect their child, they get a tantrum on their hands too. Grin

DoreenLethal · 31/10/2015 11:37

2 to say their child won't be staying for the food as have other plans

'Gee thanks for letting me know so late - it's not as if I had to pay for the food already. Oh hang on...'

sooperdooper · 31/10/2015 11:40

Hmm, I'm a bit torn, it's less rude than saying they now can't come at all at such short notice - given you'd likely still have to pay for the place, sounds like the parents are trying to please everyone but failing!

80schild · 31/10/2015 12:09

Really rude without a shadow of a doubt.

SnozBuriedUnderThePatio · 31/10/2015 12:15

Rude especially at an external venue. They must have known they had other plans so why wait until the very last minute to say, that is the behaviour of an idiot.

SplatterMustard · 31/10/2015 12:26

It's rude, they should come for the whole party or not at all.
We had a party recently and I sent out a slip with the invitation to ask what sandwich, crisps and drink the child would like as I was making the food in advance and doing happy meal style boxes. We had a reply which said that the child was not allowed to eat crisps or any type of chocolate or cake because they wanted their child to only eat healthy, nutritious food. I'm all for that but it was a party FFS Shock People seem to think they can do whatever they like nowadays.

meganorks · 31/10/2015 12:33

Yes rude. If I had a clash and was trying to fit things in then I would mention it when accepting invite to see if OK with hosts. If not fair enough.

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