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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to say DD can't go Trick or Treating ?

16 replies

OracleofDelphi · 26/10/2015 09:43

I'm hoping you can help to give me some perspective as I don't know if IABU!

DD is 6.5 and a very strong willed person ..... She is kind and caring and lovely ( most of the time) but God is she stubborn ..... She has always been an amazing sleeper as a baby, toddler, when she first started school - literally has never given me a seconds trouble (which was a relief after DS).... But for the last 2-3 months she wakes up at 5-6 am .....

I really wouldn't mind if she played in her room, which is what she used to do, but she has stated waking everybody else up, every morning .....

I have literally tried everything - coming in for a cuddle ( but she wriggles and won't go back to sleep), making a nest on the floor ( she sings and chats so no one else can sleep ) sticker charts, shutting her door, having her door open , light on / light off , snack and books on her bed .... Makes no difference .
DH said if she carried on she wouldn't go to Halloween disco and sll of a sudden it stopped.... So she went to disco and the day after starred doing it again !!!

She has lost teddies, but doesn't seem bothered, and this AM woke DS up at 5 am so she has been told of she carries on then no Trick or Treating .......

So I suppose in light of all of the above AIBU to say this ..... I think I feel a bit guilty about her "missing out " but I can't carry on like this and low level bribery doesn't seem to work ! Perspective or advice would be great .....

OP posts:

PreciousxBane · 26/10/2015 09:45

What time is she going to bed?

SaucyJack · 26/10/2015 09:47

What time is she going to bed?

MilkyChops · 26/10/2015 09:49

I don't like the concept of trick or treating so would rather see kids at a party or disco so I would happily use it as a weapon.

I think 6 is old enough to understand that there are consequences to actions.

Is she waking early for a reason? Has she slept a full night by 5? Is she hungry? Need a wee? Xx

JiveTalkin · 26/10/2015 09:53

For my DD (who was the other way round from the OPs DD and only stopped the early waking 2-3 months ago) bedtime had no effect on the waking time.

Is there something waking her that early? Boilers turning on, a car outside?

YANBU to not let her trick or treat. Losing her teddies doesn't work, so it needs to be something she really really cares about.

Original poster

OracleofDelphi · 26/10/2015 09:55

Lady night she fell asleep during a film at 7 but normally it 8-8.30 .... Doesn't seem to make a difference to the wake up time though ... We always leave her a snack in her room and a big fluffy onesie to put on in case she is cold .... It's not the waking that bothers me so much as I know sometimes people need less / wake early in phases - it's the waking everyone else up esp poor DS who loves his sleep !

OP posts:

canyou · 26/10/2015 09:56

We found the temp drops about 4 am and so the dc were wakinh between 4 and 5 so now the heating comes in at 4 am and we have had no more early wakings so far. Extra blankets were no use as they would be to warm earlier in the night and throw them off.
But yes if she is disturbing everyone and a punishment has been threatened it must be followed through.

Notso · 26/10/2015 09:58

First off you have my sympathy. I have an early riser who unfortunately share a room with my youngest who really needs a lot of sleep.
So I don't think you would be unreasonable but as you know you can't carry on just threatening to stop the next fun thing.

Have you thought about making her bedtime later? This gained us an extra half hour with DS2 eventually. I will warn it took a while to work and we had to put op with much grumpiness in the mean time.

Failing that just keep returning her to her room, no lights on with a monotone 'it's still night time' a gro clock or similar can help to show this though DS2 has learned how to change his now. Again it takes a long time to sink in and it's hard not to try anything else in the meantime.

We have mostly reached the stage with DS where he will look at a book quietly until the sun is on the clock or until his brother wakes up to play. It has been a long hard tiring slog though.

Original poster

OracleofDelphi · 26/10/2015 09:58

jive I don't think so as she has never done it before .... Bedroom on back of house , neighbours away .....I'm hoping she just grows out of it as what am I going to do if she's happy to miss Trick or Treat??!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

OracleofDelphi · 26/10/2015 10:04

Thank you .... We have a gro click which she seems to wilfully ignore ! It's so weird as DS used to be a shocking sleeper and now sleeps and sleeps ..... I need to think of a way of stopping her coming out of her room ...... I always make sure they have a snack before bed avd plenty of exercise (2 hours running round woods yesterday - so she should be tired!)

OP posts:

JiveTalkin · 26/10/2015 10:08

I think that you need to be constantly explaining to her that just because she is awake does not mean other people don't need their sleep. It is about respecting others really. Does she have respect for others generally?

We tried gro clocks etc, but nothing changed it until her little sister started waking earlier than her and going in and waking her up! We pointed out that she didn't like that, but that is what she was doing to us. (And the younger one was sorted by putting a stair gate across her bedroom door.) All that happened around the same time as we started giving her more responsibility around the house.

Now she reads quietly or goes downstairs and puts the TV on.

howabout · 26/10/2015 10:14

I have a lark and an owl so you have my sympathies.

The only helpful suggestion given that your problem is a sudden change is to ask whether your dd is getting less attention or time during the day which means she wants to make up for it when she wakes?

Gatehouse77 · 26/10/2015 11:07

You could try putting a stairgate across her bedroom door and saying if she stays in her room the gate stays open but if she comes out it will be shut until the clock says the right time?

summerainbow · 26/10/2015 11:13

Theat of trick or treating good
Then you have father Christmas be good or no Christmas presents
I would also like to suggest you put alarm lock in her room one that lights up at the right time. and she is not allowed to make any noise till say 7 . Small treats every day she does it right star chart.

BertrandRussell · 26/10/2015 11:16

This is why God gave us television.
[ultra bad parent emoticon]

Fatmomma99 · 26/10/2015 11:25

the thing that jumped out of your post for me was that the threat of losing the disco stopped it, so it does sound like there's a choice your DD is making here.

So, it seems to me that you need to find a consistent way of making her want to make the choice you want her to make (if that makes sense). The potentially missed disco worked, but it's not v nice to have a nasty threat over a 6 yr old's head permanently, so my advice fwiw is to try and find something nicer/make her part of the decision making if possible.

Good luck. Mine used to be an early riser too and it was hell!

Original poster

OracleofDelphi · 26/10/2015 14:35

Thank you all ! I really appreciate your points of view as sometimes you can't work out anymore if you're right or wrong..... I have tried stickers , ticks, promises of me buying her this sparkly brush she really wants but I hate to say it , the only thing that worked was saying No Disco ..... She is lovely but stubborn as an Ox so I think she has got to want to do it .... I will go back to reward charts too as DS is knackered today ....

OP posts:

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