To think this doorstep salesman is a knob?

[cuntycowfacemonkey]

Opened door to man who spread his arms out and said "Happy cuddles day"
me =
Him = Ha Ha just kidding, I'm in the area blah, blah

and his trouser zip was completely undone.

Although he was slightly less knobby than the last guy who opened with "No need to be frightened I'm not here to hurt you" seriously where do these people come from?

I would have told the pair of them to get to fuck before I called the police.
Fucking idiots.

You need a 'No Wankers' sticker for your door.

EBay?

What Lisbeth said! Honestly - who, if anyone, trains these people? Fucking idiots - what company was he from?

No idea which company I just say the winning phrase "sorry it's a rental" and they trot off without further ado.

If I open the door, I tell them "I'm sorry, my mummy and daddy aren't home" technically it's true, I do live in my DPs house and they live up the road. The fact that I'm 29 and married is moot

Quick glance. thought you said he was selling knobs door to door. Which I guess he was, in a way.

I just don't answer the door to people I don't know or I'm not expecting. My door, my choice.

I do the same as cuntyfacemonkey (what a name btw!!)
Nope, sorry we rent.

Do you think he knew his trousers were open? Would it have slipped out if he managed to press himself against you in the hug?

You should of said 'oh fabulous, great timing, I'll just shout for mrcuntycowface, he was just saying he was feeling a bit horny'

We have one of those "no hawkers, no solicitors" signs on our door. The rare eejit who dares to knock gets a stink eye stare and a pointed finger towards the sign.

What a knob.
I use the peephole and don't open the door if they look salesy or Jehovahry.

10 year olds at scout camp go around offering free hugs. Not grown men. 10 year olds can do their trousers up too!!!