AIBU for wanting her to put the camera down?

[Teacup12]

One of my friends from a group of girls I went to uni with, is a fashion blogger and she is working hard and doing well for herself. But every time we meet up now ( which is once or twice a year as we all live in different parts of the country now) our meetups end up on her youtube or blog...everybody seems to go along with it, which confuses me. I am in my 3rd trimester now and have a high risk pregnancy due to a health condition that I have. A few weeks ago when one of the girls (not the blogger) got married I kindly asked her to step down as bridesmaid and she was happy with that. I went on this girls' blog just now and not only is my mug on some of the photos, but she also did a whole youtube video about the wedding - at the dinner the night before the wedding I sat far away on purpose, but somehow my DP and I ended up on the video...on youtube. I haven't even had the chance to tell some of my family who live abroad about the pregnancy...I am so cross. AIBU?

Well, I think that wrt the earlier small group meet-ups you could have just said that you didn't want to be put online. It might have been better if she had asked, but among friends I think she will have assumed you'd speak up if you had a problem. As for the wedding... It is pretty normal for wedding photographers to put all the snaps online without getting explicit consent. I have been to several weddings where a professional online album has been shared and I've featured in it without always having been aware I was being photographed. But if a wedding video is going on youtube it is better for the couple to mention it. Idk really.

Hmm, I don't know if I am just being unreasonable...I guess you are right, but it wasn't her wedding per se, she just published images etc of what she was eating and wearing. She filmed all the bridesmaids getting ready in pyjamas and fluffy robes, etc...Maybe I should be more confident and tell her that in case she is filming, please can i not be on it, what do you thinK?

Yanbu for not wanting to be filmed for any reason. However you should have spoken up sooner. If she is blogging clothes and fashion tips for places she goes it makes sense that she will blog everything she does and what people wear.

Personally as a filmmaker I would always ask before posting anything with other people in it. However a lot of people do assume consent, especially from friends.

I would have a quiet word as I'm sure she can do it without you in if she knows. Just explain that you think she's doing a great job with her blog and you are super proud of her but can she please exclude you from it. You don't have to give a reason but if you want to just be honest. A good friend will be supportive of that and prob mortified that they didn't know sooner.

As an aside 3rd trimester is very far through a pregnancy to not have told people so you can't get mad at her for not thinking her filming may "out" you.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and friend is good.

I agree that you need to ask her to specifically ensure that you are not in the photos or videos that she posts.

Just tell her you don't want to be filmed. I also think that saying you are in your third trimester but haven't had a chance to tell family abroad that you are pregnant is a bit of a suspect reason - have you banned your entire family here from mentioning it to these relatives? I doubt they are going to pick up on your pregnancy from randomly coming across the Youtube video of a fashion blogger. But if you don't want to be filmed that's perfectly reasonable - it's all very well for her to use her social occasions as material for her blog but not at everyone else's expense.

Thanks everyone. I think i need to explain the family bit. All the close family knows, i have been to see mum and dad, cousins, aunts, etc. I wasn't trying to hide my pregnancy, I really wanted to tell people in person and because they live so far away, I don't get a chance to see them every day. This is second cousins and aunts and my friends back home. I think I am a little bit taken aback, because I haven't had the chance to tell the people back home ( because they live far away) and I really didn't expect to be included in her blog. Its like the camera comes out every time we see each other, before we eat, when we sit down, everything we do is papped. I think I am just a little overwhelmed.

I can't see how your family back home would see the blog though? So it's not something you would need to worry about.

YANBU.

It sounds tedious and an invasion of privacy that she records and publishes everything online. I wouldn't like it and would ask to not be included, regardless of pregnancy.

Ugh, I've got a friend who constantly photographs and films everything and it gets right on my tits so I know how you feel. I feel like telling her to put the camera down and actually live her life. She documents each month of her child's life with at least 500 photos on Facebook.

That would annoy me and I think I'd say something to stop it. If absolutely everybody else likes the Youtube fame I'd cancel or wear a Darth Vader mask all day.

What are the chances of your family seeing your mates film on YouTube though? I can't imagine any of my aunties etc being interested in one of my mates blogs

reni2 haha darth vader mask! that made me chuckle!
leccybill i know! i think thats my issue more than anything. you never get to enjoy your food. it always has to be photographed first, before you can tuck in.
Crispbutty yeah, family won't mind, even if they accidentally see it, like you said though...what are the odds..:D aunties drinking their morning coffee and checking the latest fashion blogs on youtube haha :D

Tiptops I don't know why, but I feel particularly hormonal & vulnerable ( pregnancy hormones? hmm) and between being hungry and having to rest my legs all the time, I just wished I hadn't found out this way. But agreed, do need to be more straight forward and ask not to be included.