Am I in denial?

[CrohnicallyAspie]

DD had a bit of an accident and was weighed and measured at hospital (as all small children are). Her bmi by age puts her slightly overweight (87th centile, 85th or higher is overweight).

The things is, she weighs a lot (more than other toddlers who look the same size) but I don't think she's that big. She has a typical toddler build. She's nearly 3 and still easily fits width wise into most 18-24 month clothes (though they are too short). Length wise 3-4 clothes are fine but fall down as they're too baggy round the waist.

You can see her ribs (front and back) when standing, and backbone when she bends slightly.

So am I just in denial, should I go by the scales? Or does her clothes size mean she isn't really overweight, she is just heavy for her size?

Children's BMI is a very blunt tool. My son is technically obese. Several health professionals have told me he is a healthy, active happy toddler, and they have no concerns about his weight at all.

Talk to you HV if you are worried, but she sounds fine.

Ds2 is on the 99th centile for both height and weight, his consultant think he awesome. he is fine, not a inch of fat on him, he is looking like he is going to be taking after my late father who was 6ft 5.

My ds was a really chunky thing up until.about 3. Now aged 7, he's a tall, skinny lad with no fat on him.

If your dd has a well.balanced diet with child sized portions and lots of active play then I wouldn't worry.

She sounds fine from what you've said, but I'm certainly no expert! Even on the bmi she's only just over the boundary and it's an inexact science even in adults and definitely in small children. Im sure you are already but make sure you're giving a balanced diet (for her age) and that she has plenty of time to run around and play. But I'm sure you do this already so don't worry. If you're concerned, can you get an appointment with a nurse at your GP surgery to do a health check, you can mention what the hospital said, hopefully the nurse can check dd and reassure you

She has a huge appetite but I do my best to make it balanced and fresh food over processed. She only eats till she's full though (will happily leave eg the last bite of chocolate cake, or half an ice cream, things most children would overeat on), and doesn't have much of a sweet tooth. She doesn't have chocolate cake or ice cream every day either, those were just examples.

She gets lots of exercise, she is at nursery most days and will play outside as much as she can. At home she prefers to be out in the garden, she's one of these toddlers that has to be taken outside at least once a day else she gets really grumpy.

I've lost her red book but I think she gained centiles weight wise early on (from 25th up to just over 75th), then settled down by about 6 months. Height followed the same centile. She was a teeny bit early though (2 weeks before due date) so I think she was never 'meant' to be on the 25th centile, that was just because she was being compared to babies up to a month 'older' than her.

I think the HV will be in touch regarding her accident (isn't it usual for a HV to phone parents of small children who go to A and E with injuries?), if so I will mention it then (drop in sessions are while I'm at work and it feels like a waste of nurse or GP time).

I wouldn't be concerned. children typically gain weight, then shoot up. so she could be in the middle of such a spurt.

She sounds like a lovely sturdy active little girl. If you start to think she's turning into a lovely chubby little girl adjust her diet slightly.

I also think this child stuff is a bit... . I was a skinny, skinny, skinny child (you could've counted all my ribs). I'm now size 16 - 18 (working on it, I was size 20, but I am tall)

I was an active but not sporty kid. I took up smoking. Gave it up to get pregnant, got fat.

Life happens! Give your child tools to deal with that and don't fret on what the latest research deems to be appropriate!

She sounds fine. You're doing fine.

Thank you. I was just a bit shocked when they weighed her and she actually weighs enough to go into the next stage car seat- the one that they recommend from age 4! I'll keep her in her harness as long as I can though.

Bear in mind that even slightly inaccurate weight or height measurements have a disproportionate impact on BMI percentile in toddlers.

Also, while BMI is relatively insensitive to build, at the margins (and 87% is right at the limit between normal and overweight) it does make a difference. My daughter is right on the lower limit for a healthy BMI but because of her petite build she isn't underweight (in fact she is the same weight as her younger brother who is 5cm shorter - he has wide shoulders, big wrists and ankles and big feet, while she is slight all over).

Anyway, it doesn't sound like there is a problem based on what you say. What does her doctor think?

Given that she has a "huge appetite" I might be tempted to get her weighed once every six months or so to check that she's not going up on the BMI percentiles chart - but that's all.

She hasn't seen a GP for ages. She saw a HV when she was 2 1/2 for the standard check up, they weighed and measured her then but I didn't have her red book so it couldn't be plotted. They didn't say anything about her size, they might have asked about her dad- I'm a short arse petite so people do often ask if she takes after him!

I had DD overseas where these health checks do not happen as a matter of course - no NHS obviously. She was a normal birth weight but by eight months was HUGE. I didn't know anyone else with a baby, was back to work when she was six weeks old, had no family out there so nobody commented apart from people in supermarkets: "Gurrrl, that baby is as big as you are!". On holiday in the US once, I was suddenly surrounded by Japanese tourists taking photographs of her - I realised a long, long time afterwards that she looked to them like a baby Sumo wrestler. At the time, I just thought she was beautiful. One of my UK friends said that if she'd known me then, she would have considered reporting me to SS for child abuse (!)

Anyway at three, her natural build and appetite had stablised and she was as skinny as a rake - like the rest of my family. She's now 17 and wears an adult 6.

Your DD sounds absolutely fine, OP.

I have 2 sons, brought up on the same diet. One is tall and skinny, the other is shorter and broader. The short broad one has always been more active. He has a bit of a tummy at the moment, but i'm putting that down to puberty puppy fat before he has a growth spurt, which is what usually happens with him. The taller one never put on any fat and his back is covered in stretch marks from his growth spurt. They are both very different.

She's nearly 3 and only in 18-24 months clothes,she is in no way overweight.

My oldest DS19 was in 18-24 months clothes when he was 6 months,he was breastfed but my God he grew so quick,he was only 7lb 2 when I had him.

Now he's just over 6ft,slim and muscular and still growing height and feet wise.

I was what my Mum called a bonnie baby ,I was still in a size 8 clothes after having my 4TH DC and she was 8lb 2 when I had her.Now she's 12,5 ft 4 and a really slim.

Don't worry,your LO sounds like she's doing fine.

If clothes the right length are routinely too big round the waist it's unlikely there is any problem tbh. She may just be one of those kids that weigh a bit heavier than they look. My DS is one of those - he looks rake thin but his weight is very average, we joke that he is partly made up of black hole.

My dd was heavy enough for the booster seat (15kilo) before she turned 2.
Thankfully, there is an overlap in seat sizes.
She is now 2 1/2 and 16 kilos. Sounds bad?
If you look at her, dressed in skinny jeans or leggins, most people say she is gorgeous. She is just the size of a 4 year old. She is the perfect weight for her height.
No idea why she is so tall, I am 5'3", daddy is 5'6".
So how tall is yours?
Do height and weight roughly match on the magic charts?
Both h&w in the 80s, fine.
Weight at 87, height at 10, maybe a bit more concerning?

It's her bmi thats on the 87th. I looked at the online charts and her height is 50th and her weight is 75th. I honestly thought she would be on higher centiles because people do comment on how tall/big/heavy she is!

She was even bigger as a baby, despite being EBF and later BLW, she was in 9-12 month clothes at 3 months (helped by double nappies for her hips), then as I said her growth slowed, she still fits into most of last summer's clothes.

HV has no concerns (she did ring for a chat) so I'll just keep an eye for now.