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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ban visits to softplay

24 replies

mrbananabeak · 28/08/2015 13:36

Went to playcentre this morning. Ds spent most of his time around a machine and continued to do so after several reminders. It was one of those machines that grabs a teddy. He pestered on and on for ?2 and stormed off calling me mean when refused. Felt that it was pointless to stay any longer so we left. This happened every time we go and he just isn't learning. He has SN but acted very difficult, even going so far as arguing that I should give him ?2, as I had change in my purse.
AIBU to ban any further visits to playcentre?

OP posts:
laffymeal · 28/08/2015 13:38

Maybe he doesn't really enjoy soft play and would rather play with the grabber. There's not much point in taking him if he doesn't get any fun out of it.

Original poster
mrbananabeak · 28/08/2015 13:40

It is his attitude. Even when he plays he always wants something out of a machine.

OP posts:
laffymeal · 28/08/2015 13:44

Some dcs are just besotted with arcade machines aren't they Smile

TheHouseOnTheLane · 28/08/2015 13:46

How old is he? Once mine turned 7 it was a no go zone. They just get more interested in the crap on sale.

Goshthatsspicy · 28/08/2015 13:55

I can't abide soft play.
If my daughter gets anymore invites, we won't go! She is six,and will survive without.

Original poster
mrbananabeak · 28/08/2015 13:58

He is 9. I'm so cross with his attitude this summer. Always wanting things

OP posts:
Sirzy · 28/08/2015 14:00

Do you explain to him before you go that their won't be anything from the machines, or that he can have x amount of money and that is it?

noiwontstoptalking · 28/08/2015 14:04

We rarely go to Softplays, we seem to have survived just fine.

I do have friends who practically live there though.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 28/08/2015 14:04

I think 9 is getting to that age when it's really too young for them. Most kids that age need to be doing things such as football or playing with their friends...maybe he's just grown out of it OP.

Original poster
mrbananabeak · 28/08/2015 14:06

Yes we make it clear before going out but he has poor self control. Also banned him from toys R us after he refused to leave for 40 mins because he wanted something.

OP posts:
Vintagebeads · 28/08/2015 14:09

I think at 9 soft play is less of a thrill mine only went at that age if they went to a party.
I wouldn't bring mine to a toy shop for a look around though,I don't know any kid who happily leaves a toy shop with nothing.

Goshthatsspicy · 28/08/2015 14:10

I see lots of kids of about 10 /11 having a great time. Then a break, then returning at about 14...in an enjoyable helping out capacity!
I can't stand them when they are small, l don't like not being able to see them. Most of my local ones are like that.

Sirzy · 28/08/2015 14:10

I don't think banning from places is really going to help in the long run personally. I know it's hard but I think clear expectations before you go and sticking to that is much better in the long run.

That said does he actually enjoy going to soft play? Or are you taking a younger sibling?

TheHouseOnTheLane · 28/08/2015 14:13

OP perhaps he needs pocket money? Then he can spend it as he chooses. Mine earn 50p per job...so if they take out the bins and sort the recycling, that's 50p. Drying dishes...another 50p. We did offer them £4.00 a week for doing the same jobs daily but they used to forget and then still expect their £4.00.

They know the money they earn is for crappy machines or comics or they can save it and once it's gone then they need to earn more.

2ndSopranosRule · 28/08/2015 14:15

Unless invited to a party we don't go. Dd1 is nearly 8 and just not interested. DD2 still enjoys, but she'll only play if her sister plays and her sister just sits moaning for a snack.

It's tortuous for all of us. Swimming is our rainy day activity. It's cheaper and we actually enjoy it!

I think you did exactly the right thing removing him when he persisted in badgering you.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 28/08/2015 14:15

I stopped taking DDs to soft play after the incident where a kid had been sick in the ball pit and no-one had cleaned it up. It was everywhere and DDs got it all over themselves too.

Do the staff ever climb up to the top of those things to check everything is as clean as it should be?

googoodolly · 28/08/2015 14:19

I think 9 is probably a bit old for softplay. I also wouldn't take a child to wander around a toy shop unless I intended to buy them something - that's just asking for a tantrum!

gamerchick · 28/08/2015 14:28

Well at 9 he's old enough for pocket money. Mine gets 10 quid a month to spend as he pleases. Funnily enough when it's their money it's harder to spend on whatever after the first few times they get it and realise once it's gone it's gone.

Goshthatsspicy · 28/08/2015 14:34

Mrsleigh Shock

Original poster
mrbananabeak · 28/08/2015 14:48

Thanks :) now sat colouring in his new pocketmoney chart. He has chosen A3 paper lol. Also keeping him occupied !

OP posts:
gamerchick · 28/08/2015 14:52

He's ambitious then? Just the ticket Grin

yorkshapudding · 28/08/2015 15:10

Mrsleigh, that doesn't surprise me. Maybe I've just been unlucky but every soft play I've taken DD to has been really grubby. The grubbiness, the useless parents who don't bother to look up from their phones while their feral children are beating the shit out of much younger kids, it's all really grim. I try to steer clear.

littlejohnnydory · 28/08/2015 16:14

But if you don't take him to these places, he won't learn how to behave? My 8 year old ds still loves it but we tend to go at the quietest times. I wouldn't have left, I'd just have ignored the pestering.

Pocket money is a good idea - mine get pocket money and my answer to "can I have..." is always, "have you got any money?"

2ndSopranosRule · 28/08/2015 17:04

I hardly think learning how to behave at a play centre is a life skill. Why should the op, who has paid for her son to play, put up with an endless whine of I want I want I want.

I limit playground visits. My dc can behave because they just can. But they are incapable of playing without stupid amounts of input from me. Someone here the other day advised making expectations clear, which I did, and we all had a good time.

In this case, I would lay out clear expectations and make clear that should the boy persist with his behaviour, you will leave.

Did he want to go, btw?

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