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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be worried and hate myself for this situation

18 replies

Mindexplode · 11/08/2015 10:21

Today I have had to send my DC to a holiday club where they know nobody. They are at a club near my work, which is a distance from home, and they will be there from 8:30 until 6. They have each other, but one is very shy and I don't want them to be reliant on each other.

My own mother put me in random holiday clubs and I hated it, not knowing anyone or what the routine would be. DS 1 is like me and I am worried he will hate it to. DS2 is very friendly and I think he will be ok, just struggle with the long day.

I am already counting down the hours until I can pick them up again.

Please tell me they will love it and I'm being unreasonable.

The only reason they are there is that it is a busy week at work for me, so no time off and DH is on zero hours contact so if he takes unpaid time off during the holidays there will be no work in term time. All other friends/ family routes were not happening.

OP posts:

RepeatAdNauseum · 11/08/2015 10:25

They'll be okay. For what it's worth, plenty of shy kids come out of their shells at this type of thing - it'll do them both good.

It'll be different to how it was for you because DS1 and DS2 have each other, so even if they are talking to different people and aren't together, they will know that they are not on their own.

Don't give it any more headspace. They'll be fine, it's two hours in now so they will both have made friends, and the day will fly by for them.

Charis1 · 11/08/2015 10:27

I don't think you have anything to feel bad about. it isn't even a choice, is it. Children have to accept the financial realities of life, same as adults. It does them no good to pretend otherwise.

WorraLiberty · 11/08/2015 10:29

Please tell me they will love it and I'm being unreasonable.

No-one can tell you that they'll love it, because we don't know your kids or the club.

But they definitely will get through it and at least they have each other.

They're safe and being looked after, so that's the main thing.

pinkisthenewpink · 11/08/2015 10:41

They will be ok.

I was going to post a few weeks ago about the 'horrors' and guilt associated with sending my DC to a kids club. I rarely do it, but sometimes you just have to for work. I hated dropping them off and them looking all forlorn. Mine were ok and actually once I got past the initial 'it was s'alright' it sounded like they had fun (maybe albeit fun with a smaller 'f' than it would be if they were at home and masters of their own domains).

The good kids clubs will have helpers that are adept at making sure all the kids are doing ok and helping the shy ones feel 'at home'.

Ragwort · 11/08/2015 10:42

All I can tell you is that my child - an only child - loved holiday clubs. I never forgot the one where we turned up and he was the only child there - he had a great day - three leaders looking after him, loads of things to do. He frequently went to holiday clubs/activities/PGL holidays etc where he didn't know anyone - it's a great life skill to be able to mix with new people.

Try not to project your own memories of holiday clubs onto your children - hopefully they will have a great time.

Allgunsblazing · 11/08/2015 10:45

They've got each other, they'll get through it just fine! Don't worry and don't project your own fears.
On the way home stop randomly and get them each an icecream :)

RabbitsarenotHares · 11/08/2015 10:48

I helped out at a holiday club at Easter. There were twins there who were both very quiet, and told me that on the way there they had been dreading it, and scared of being somewhere where they only knew each other.

The club finished on the Friday lunchtime (it was a whole-family residential, and the adult courses finished early to give people time to get home). I met the two girls and their mother after lunch, and both girls were crying because they couldn't come back to the club! So we all went and did some colouring in together for an hour. Would not have expected that outcome!

So, hopefully your two will have a whale of a time!

Lightbulbon · 11/08/2015 10:51

Omg talk about an over anxious/helicopter parent!

Cut that umbilical cord.

Theycallmemellowjello · 11/08/2015 10:54

I got sent off to a holiday kids sports club as a painfully shy sports-hating child. Honestly, I didn't enjoy them, and would have vastly preferred to stay home and read, but I usually made one friend in the group and didn't suffer massively. And actually, I think it was probably good for my social skills in the long run to be forced into uncomfortable social situations. I now don't have a problem being around new people.

WorraLiberty · 11/08/2015 10:56

Worrying that you kids might not like a club that you've had no choice but to place them in for nearly 10 hours, is hardly over anxious helicopter parenting.

It's more like human nature

NealCaffreysHat · 11/08/2015 10:58

Lightbulbon neither helpful or nice. I am as far removed from a helicopter parent as you could find but I would still feel a pang of anxiousness if my DC's were going somewhere they knew no one.

As Worra says more like human nature.

MaximiseProductivity · 11/08/2015 11:02

Even if they do hate every minute (I'm sure they won't) being forced into situations slightly outside your comfort zone is good for you. It's as much a part of their necessary education as learning to count is.

WombatStewForTea · 11/08/2015 12:05

They'll be fine.
When you pick them up please ask question about what was good, what their favourite part was etc. Rather than was it ok/looking for negatives.
Not saying you would but this is one of my pet peeves and I'm forever dealing with parents who project their negative feelings into their children who then always look for the negatives themselves.

Original poster

Mindexplode · 11/08/2015 19:27

update: they had a great time, made lots of friends (and some craft items ) and want to go again

such a relief

OP posts:

laffymeal · 11/08/2015 19:29

Aw that's lovely op.

grannytomine · 11/08/2015 20:42

So pleased it worked out OK.

pinkisthenewpink · 11/08/2015 21:42

Hurrah!!

LuckyBitches · 12/08/2015 12:16

OP I can understand your anxiety. I used to be sent to awful 'kids clubs' in the 1980s, and also hated them, they were a shambles. That doesn't mean your kids will feel the same though - and I think this sort of thing is very regulated and structured these days?

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