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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can it still be rape when a woman's on top?

20 replies

weeblueberry · 26/07/2015 15:52

On another forum I'm on there's a thread about a rape that's been publicised in the media. Someone has said its been disproven as rape because there's cctv evidence of her being 'all over him and at times, on top,'. Do you agree with this? There's something about it that doesn't sit right with me - obviously I've not seen the cctv footage so don't know exactly as it's happened but surely a woman being on top doesn't automatically stop it being rape?

OP posts:
RosePetels · 26/07/2015 15:57

Sketchy area because she could be drugged and the male could be moving her or maybe it wasn't rape.
Only the cctv will help with a clear judgement

SaucyJack · 26/07/2015 16:01

Yes, of course.

Rape is more complex than being pinned down and physically forced.

FryOneFatManic · 26/07/2015 16:05

I recall seeing a post from a thread on Relationships, where the OP said she was on top and had been held firmly enough to stop her getting off, even though she wanted to. So I think rape is possible whatever the position.

arethereanyleftatall · 26/07/2015 16:06

Yes.

I guess even the CCTV wouldn't even clear it up 100%; threats, drugged etc

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/07/2015 16:06

What if a man with a knife says get on top or I'll kill you? Do you think that would qualify as rape?

ADishBestEatenCold · 26/07/2015 16:06

Have the people on the forum you mention watched the CCTV footage (it sounds like they are very sure of the descriptive detail)?

(if so, I think you should name the forum, so we can all go on there and tell the voyeurs what we think of them)

Yes, it can still be rape when a woman's on top.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 26/07/2015 16:08

Of course.

Branleuse · 26/07/2015 16:09

i can see why it would cause doubts, but obviously rape is more complex than that

Myname15 · 26/07/2015 16:10

And of course, she may have been initially up for it and then whatever happened, she told him to stop, he wouldn't etc.
Makes me so angry the way others feel they can judge what happened and what they would do in a rape situation. It's all so complex, there's so many possible scenarios and factors, and no one ever knows how they may react - the "I would fight them off" bullshit drives me insane.
if you really think you're gonna be hurt, and you probably would, you might go along with it, freeze, you could be off your face or really emotionally fucked and feel for stupid for resist.
The fact this is on the internet makes me sick

CassieBearRawr · 26/07/2015 16:12

Yes it can.

Lurkedforever1 · 26/07/2015 16:15

Of course it could be. Forgetting the fact you can emotionally force someone, or take advantage through drugs or drink, or threaten them, if you're physically stronger you can hold them there.

FreudiansSlipper · 26/07/2015 16:19

Yes of course

She could even at first agree to having sex and then change her mind thankfully we have the right to have control over our bodies at all times though many seem to disagree with this or feel it's unfair toHmm

CatMilkMan · 26/07/2015 16:23

Of course, rape is so complicated that "can it still be rape?" Questions almost always are YES.

Myname15 · 26/07/2015 16:24

What fuckwit put it online? Honestly, it makes me sick. I have to be really careful to remind myself sometimes it's not all men, and they're not all laughing at the horror.
As for all those who think they can make a fair assessment from a video, they really need to sort it out. So many are so quick to judge, and it's not cool

StarsInTheNightSky · 26/07/2015 16:24

Yes of course it can. She might have been threatened with death if she didn't look like she was enjoying herself/being on top, or any number of possibilities. It is still rape if it isn't fully consensual for the participants, or if one or the other of the parties aren't capable of giving their consent

yorkshapudding · 26/07/2015 16:24

I think this is a perfect example of why discussions around the issue of consent need to be a compulsory part of sex education. If there are adults out there who genuinely believe that the woman being on top means it can't be rape then what chance do teeneagers have?
Rape is sex in the absence of informed consent. She may have consented initially, voluntarily got on top, then changed her mind and withdrawn her consent. If the man held her in place and continued having sex with her this would, of course, be rape. She could be heavily under the influence of alcohol or drugs and therefore, according to the law, unable to consent. She could have been coerced, physically threatened or blackmailed into having sex, which would also be rape. She could also have agreed to have sex with him but be too young to consent to sex in the eyes of the law, which would also be rape.

These people on the other thread who are claiming that rape only occurs in certain positions need to educate themselves.

HighwayDragon · 26/07/2015 16:29

Yes.

HTH

UptheChimney · 26/07/2015 16:39

Rape has nothing to do with position. It's about lack of consent.

Original poster
weeblueberry · 26/07/2015 16:43

I suspect the footage isn't actually online but the commentary from the police (or the company the footage came from?) is.

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 26/07/2015 17:00

Somebody put the police commentary online?!?!?!

Report.

I'm not even sure who to ... the police, I would think.

Has this case already been before the court?

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