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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find my copycat neighbour a PITA?

52 replies

Molotov · 21/07/2015 17:41

We aren't friends, just happen to be neighbours. She increasingly copies what I do/what I buy. Her child even has the same name as mine (my dc is 2y older). She's copying more and more personal things now, and it's just starting to boil my piss. What's especially annoying is that when we do speak, she's very snarky about my house/dcs - very passive-aggressive, low-level, but present.

AIBU? If not, how do I deal with it? other than move

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 21/07/2015 17:44

Make things up and watch her fall for it Wink

"Oh yes, we just bought a tv bed/an AGA/parquet flooring..."

Then let her waste her money. She'll feel stupid when she realises she's been caught out.

scarletforya · 21/07/2015 17:44

I'd have to say something.

FriendofBill · 21/07/2015 17:45

Stop giving her info.
Be polite pleasant and brief.
No open questions.

VulcanWoman · 21/07/2015 17:46

Is blanking her an option or do you think she'd get nasty.

ShebaShimmyShake · 21/07/2015 17:48

Start pretending to like crap stuff.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 21/07/2015 17:52

Hang some tacky flags outside your house and get the worst garden ornaments you can find.

Marmitelover55 · 21/07/2015 17:57

I sympathise! Our neighbour is copying our extension - everything - layout, decor, flooring, kitchen. It's driving me absolutely nuts Sad

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 21/07/2015 17:59

Gnomes. You need gnomes. And an ornamental windmill.

Borrow a dog from a friend and say you got it from the RSPCA.

Start wearing hotpants.

Ask to test drive a posh car but just drive it home in time for her to see. Tell her it's new.

atonofwashing · 21/07/2015 18:14

How annoying for you. She can't keep this up forever.

Def stop telling her anything about your life, make yourself so busy she never sees you and, yes, stick a gnome or 2 in your garden!

Good luck.x

Molotov · 21/07/2015 18:16

Oh, I'm so relieved that I am getting sympathetic replies here Smile It's maddening. What's difficult for me is that my home really is where my heart is, and I decorate it as such (as many other women do, I'm sure). Some of my tastes are somewhat off-kilter/unfashionable and she copies them to the letter.

I have started blanking her recently. We rent and she strikes me as the sort who would report any perceived "nuisance" behaviour, whilst smiling to your face.

Better don my best game-face, I suppose.

OP posts:
FenellaFellorick · 21/07/2015 18:19

How is she seeing your home?

Ilovecrapcrafts · 21/07/2015 18:21

I have a friend who does this but with big things- getting married, buying a house, having a baby- all within a few months of us doing it.

She's a very unhappy person and constantly worries about being left behind. She's very jealous and wants things only because others have them, not because they give her any pleasure. It's incredibly frustrating but also incredibly sad

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 21/07/2015 18:22

There was something in The 13th Warrior about boiled cow's urine making something antiseptic: does that work with human piss?....

spectacularly misses point

CigarsofthePharoahs · 21/07/2015 18:22

Develop a garden gnome obsession - the cruder the better.
It's amazing the kind of crud you can find at a local less than good antique dealers. You only have to buy a few examples, but do make sure she thinks you have a genuine love for ugly horse brasses or Victorian decorative plates.
Either that or the truly hideous bits of artwork you always find lurking at car boot sales.
Sit back and enjoy what she does next....

Molotov · 21/07/2015 18:24

Fenella, she's next-door-but-one and I'm positive can see directly through the glass roof of the extension.

She must also be able to see my washing line as all our bed linen is the same (yes, I can see hers). Both the adult and child bed linen. I definitely haven't copied her, and find the thought of all of it being a coincidence unlikely now as there is so much of the same thing.

Cars ... I got a new one. A couple of months later, hers was the same older Grin , but in a different colour.

OP posts:
Molotov · 21/07/2015 18:31

Oh, and you can see in from the front if I don't fully close the blinds. She usually very slowly strolls past with her toddler and I've seen her looking in a couple of times.

OP posts:
cleanmyhouse · 21/07/2015 18:32

Maybe you could talk loudly in the garden about taking a lover. Pretend to start learning Mandarin, leave a language tape playing. Claim to drink your own pee for health reasons. You could have soooo much fun with this.

FenellaFellorick · 21/07/2015 18:32

So she can only see one room? Can you get blinds?

And I think it's time you bought some funky wigs, and bedding that says 'fuck you' dont you? Grin

ReginaBlitz · 21/07/2015 18:34

Paranoid

Runningupthathill82 · 21/07/2015 18:34

Ok, it's weird behaviour, but if I were you I'd just feel sorry for her. She's obviously deeply insecure and struggles with knowing her own mind.

If I were you I'd take it as a very odd form of flattery, and completely ignore. I wouldn't let it wind me up, she can't keep this going forever.

TheCraicDealer · 21/07/2015 18:36

You need a tumble dryer and some blinds, mate.

TwinkieTwinkle · 21/07/2015 18:36

You've said she has seen your stuff by almost peeking in, right? How do you know what she's got in her house? You must be having a good old gander! Perhaps she is responding to what she sees as a nosy neighbour and trying to annoy you?

SoupDragon · 21/07/2015 18:45

You need some bunting.

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AlanPacino · 21/07/2015 18:45

I have no idea what my neighbours houses are like inside, I've been inside briefly for various reasons such as using the loo during a bbq or being ushered into the garden when I've gone round to retrieve balls etc. how does she know what your house is like and how do you know about hers? How do you manage to cover so much ground in terms of home decor when doing your necessary civil 'hellos'?

AlanPacino · 21/07/2015 18:46

I mean I have been inside but not made exacting appraisals of their set up.