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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my DP?

26 replies

TheImprobableGirl · 18/07/2015 11:34

I would really like to know AIBU.... Today I had to catch a train to my parents, Instead of driving as he is going up to a wedding for the weekend (without the Children) oop north.
He was also taking up his friends golf clubs that have been languishing in the loft for 8 months and needed to be delivered home.
Train is at 10:49, he can obviously leave at any time. However it tends to be a two person job to get up in the attic, as firstly he won't go up there as there are too many spiders and cobwebs Hmm and secondly we need someone to hold the ladder or it tends to fall down.
He tells me we need to go up to the loft at 10:20 when we are 5 mins leaving to get the train. I get covered in shit up in the loft and get clubs. He then potters around getting balls and things together and I end up missing train by 2 minutes.

I say it is his fault that I now have to wait 2 fucking hours for the next train and will miss the start of a picnic in the park event. He says I am moaning unnecessarily and he doesn't need to apologise, or thank me it seems, as they are not his clubs and I could've always said no if I didn't want to.

Am I really too moany?!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 18/07/2015 11:35

Sorry 'he' is dp

OP posts:
saturnvista · 18/07/2015 11:50

YANBU!!!!

SoupDragon · 18/07/2015 11:54

Well, it's partly his fault but, assuming this wasn't a surprise, why didn't you get the clubs down earlier?

InNeedOfABreak · 18/07/2015 11:55

Yanbu but I would have said no to helping him based on the fact he had left it too late.

SoupDragon · 18/07/2015 11:55

What I mean is, at any point between finding out about the clubs and today either of you could have said "let's get them down and ready".

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 18/07/2015 11:57

Yabu you could have got the clubs down earlier

AnImpalaCalledBABY · 18/07/2015 12:00

YABU

You should have just said no, especially if you were running late

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 18/07/2015 12:00

If you knew the clubs were a faff to get, it should have been done earlier, so you're both unreasonable for that.

He should have been a bit more sympathetic about you now being late though, it was partially his fault.

Him not going into the attic because of spiders and cobwebs though is totally unreasonable. Reminds me of my partner, who once refused to go to the bathroom for two days due to a medium sized one, hiding far in the window and had no interest in touching his hairy arse, I'm sure. So, on that point, I would offer him a grip to get on with it!

bloodyteenagers · 18/07/2015 12:01

He should get the clubs himself.

elephantfan · 18/07/2015 12:01

He is a selfish idiot.
Why are you with him?

PtolemysNeedle · 18/07/2015 12:03

It's not entirely his fault, but laying blame is unhelpful anyway. I would have refused to go in the loft at that time, but you agreed to do it knowing that it might make you late, so if you want to aportion blame then you have to take some responsibility.

Trills · 18/07/2015 12:05

they are not his clubs

They are his friend's cubs.

Not your friend.

So they are his responsibility.

butterfly133 · 18/07/2015 12:07

He should have told you much earlier. I'm guessing you thought he had already got them in his car or something?

Topseyt · 18/07/2015 12:09

Sort of thing my DH would have done years ago.

I learned to say NO!! if he asked to do something like this at the last minute. He has improved somewhat with age.

It is very frustrating. In future give him warning that you will get awkward stuff ready the night before or not at all

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 18/07/2015 12:26

Hmmm I should have probably foreseen that he would come up with some sort of issue at the last minute. soup and iamshithot he knew he wanted to take them earlier, but due to being an international man of mystery he didn't tell me until 10:20 (thus leaving 5 mins to get them and 0 mins for anything else...)

OP posts:
UrethraFranklin1 · 18/07/2015 12:32

Presumably he didnt force you into the attic with a cattle prod? You must have known it would have made you late for your train, you cant meekly do whatever he asks you to and blame him for the easily forseeable outcome.
The correct response at the time was to tell him to sod off with his golf clubs, Im leaving for my train.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/07/2015 12:35

Jeez, HIBtotally fucking U!

Oh I was going to ask why you agreed to do it so late, but now see that he only told you he needed them so late, what an utter arse! Fuckwit.

I admit I would have told him to fuck off, I wouldn't be able to help him since he left it so late; I wouln't have missed my train for that.

SoozeyHoozey · 18/07/2015 12:39

You should've just sale no. Both of you were unreasonable.

pictish · 18/07/2015 12:42

Hibu in being so unapologetic about making you miss your train. What a wanker.

You should have said "No, I don't have time to do that now...you should have asked earlier." and not gone up there.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/07/2015 12:43

I too would have said no to him, bearing in mind the train time and me being obsessive about not being late.

Selfish twat indeed.

LadyintheRadiator · 18/07/2015 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gatewalker · 18/07/2015 13:12

Sounds like there is some unconscious sabotage/self-sabotage going on, OP ...

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 18/07/2015 13:14

Yes I should have said no, I need to grow a pair. It is almost as if I have done it just so I can moan

Thanks for the grip vipers :)

OP posts:
bigbumtheory · 18/07/2015 13:16

HIBU for laving things til the last minute but YABU for not saying 'no, i'll be late.'

So be pissed off at your DH for doing that but also at yourself for not saying no. Next time say no next time and remind him of this if he asks why. For now, just say 'Fine, next time I won't help you and will say no. Just remember not to sulk or bitch when I do because you've left things until the last minute.'

bigbumtheory · 18/07/2015 13:17

Teach me not to refresh before posting...