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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be somewhat riled about Seat Savers ?

28 replies

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 09:53

Morning/afternoon/evening . .. where ever in world you are.

DS Leaver Assembly yesterday . Gates opened about 2.00 (for 2.10 start). Parents went in to Hall , including myself, and the clique were all in front row , one of the cliques Mum in Laws was also sat there, in the front, saving the only 2 seats left there.

Sat in row behind and that was not bad as could stand up to take photos (I would not do that in a front row as not fair) . Just before the beginning in waltzes Mum who one seat was saved for and her child sat in other seat .

Another thing I noted , not just at LA, is its always the same kids who are chosen . .Be that to star in the assemblies, speak outt about their fav memories etc . Is it me being a grouch or have others noticed this too ? Oddly it seems to be kids of the forementioned cliques.

OP posts:

Solo · 18/07/2015 09:57

Don't really see much in the way of seat savers at my Dd's school, but always the same kids chosen to read/sing solo/lead part in the play etc? oh yes! does it get my goat? only if I let it! and I try not to give it too much head space if I'm honest.

Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 09:59

Yea best way to be but it just dawned on me yesterday .. Oh well, he has left now and secondary awaits .. (bet there will still be seat savers lol)

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ilovesooty · 18/07/2015 10:01

Surely even on the row behind there were people behind you?

Topseyt · 18/07/2015 10:09

You won't be expected at parents assembly at secondary school. I never have been anyway.

To be honest, whilst there were such cliques at our primary school, I never paid much attention. One of the things I disliked most about primary school was the pressure on parents to attend so much anyway.

Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:10

iovesooty

No, it was a two rowed event . Long ways along the seats were in front row and row behind. Few other seats by entrance door for latecomers

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Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:12

TopseyT I get you. There were always lots of events at DS School too Be that sharing assembly, harvest festival, easter etc ,, then the parent workshops etc

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RonaldMcDonald · 18/07/2015 10:13

My d is always strong armed into doing readings etc in school
She hates it
This year I went to the school and had her moved to being the donkey in the nativity not Mary, as she didn't want the part
I think that some kids get stuck in the teachers heads and then they repeat repeat repeat
( turned out that there was close competition for the donkey role, so that was probably a faux pas too )

Seat savers should be shot

mangoespadrille · 18/07/2015 10:15

I rear the title as Seat (say-at) Saver and thought it was new type of car.

Sorry, nothing helpful to add.

Topseyt · 18/07/2015 10:18

RachelRagged, yes, secondary school much less in-your-face. Just imagine how horrified teenagers would be if their parents were to turn up at assembly or on sports day.

NynaevesSister · 18/07/2015 10:20

I get there early and queue to get a seat in the front row. One time friends saved me a seat as they knew I was going to be late and I was so embarrassed. I know they meant well and it isn't something that we normally do but I would rather stand at the back or side than be waved to the front row in a crowded hall.

Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:20

lol Bless @ close competition for donkey .

My DCs were always simply part of the chorus .. One memorable nativity play my youngest was a sheep (Reception) , , His brother (Year 5 then) was a rat in Dick Whittington

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ilovesooty · 18/07/2015 10:21

One of our "signposted parents" turned up at every sports day. His son used to be mortified.

bakingaddict · 18/07/2015 10:23

I think the teachers pick the kids who they know can deliver their lines. My son is very shy and timid and at nursery would refuse to even be in the play even though he had no speaking part as he didn't like the singing and noise.

He's better now but he will never be picked for a main part as I don't think he could handle all that attention being on him

Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:23

Aww well that wasn't your fault NynaevesSister . Were dagger looks shot your way ?

Not part of my thread or I would have mentioned it sooner but I had to wrly smile when a fair few got their ipads out (think they were ipads or other tablets) to video it all from their premium front row seats ..

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MiddleAgedandConfused · 18/07/2015 10:27

I agree it's always the same kids that get picked for roles. And it is linked to how pushy the parents are.

BabyGanoush · 18/07/2015 10:29

This has never bothered me, I usually find a seat somewhere, don't care if it's front or back or middle, surely it doesn't matter?

I like to sit with a friendly parent, that's all.

As to kids getting chosen, it often is the same ones that put themselves forward.(pushy confident parents begetting pushy confident kids?)

It takes a special teacher to break this mould. My oldest DS was very awkward socially and shy, yet his fab teacher gave him and his friend (very awkward,sweet boy with autism, who I've rarely heard utter a word, he can't do eye contact either) the opening act at Y6 leavers. They did well and were so funny. To be honest, they were also received well by the "front row parents" (and I even forgive them their slightly patronising attitude saying how wonderful to see those two boys on stage at all )

It's a shame if teachers are not aware of their own favouritism though, isn't it?

BarbarianMum · 18/07/2015 10:30

Either there are no significant cliques at dcs' school or I've never noticed them. Never heard anyone complaining about them so I guess the former.

Definitely not the case that same children chosen for everything, school is much keener on everyone havimg a go/saying a line (although this makes plays etc almost unworkable with all the too-ing and fro-ing tbh). These things aren't universal.

Seat savers however are a pain everywhere. YANBU about that. Recenly came across a woman who was trying to save the table next to her in a busy cafe for the friends who were coming. Don't think so, love.

Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:34

Mind you me saying that they did have to audition for their Leavers Play and the lead roles were very good , very good indeed in the case of the lead male part .

My DC wasn't going to be in it at all so I wasn't going to go (pointless really and DS agreed) but they gave him a tiny crowd scene so off I went .

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Original poster

RachelRagged · 18/07/2015 10:35

BabyGanoush that is lovely , , what a lovely teacher..

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Notso · 18/07/2015 10:37

YANBU. DS1's service started at 9:30. I couldn't queue any earlier than 9 as I had to drop DS2 at the school nursery at 8:55. I was 6th in the queue and ended in the third row thanks to bloody seat savers. It's always the same ones as well. I have suggested several times in PTA it would be a good fundraiser to raffle off front row tickets. Funnily enough only us back row dwellers agree.

NynaevesSister · 18/07/2015 10:47

Yes lots of daggers. I was also PTA
Chair for two years so I am sure they were thinking the worst of me!

TheRealAmyLee · 18/07/2015 10:56

Re parts in plays often it's nothing to do with the parents and everything to do with how outgoing the kids are. Kids of pushy, outgoing, on all the committees parents tend to also be outgoing and stand out/push themselves forward.

Also re seat savers I just sit where I can but there are a few at our school in the infants who are anti seat saver. They literally just sit in an empty seat, if told "X is sitting there" they simply reply "nope I can't see them, shame they didn't get here earlier" or similar and stay there. If there is a coat on seat they sweetly move it and say "sorry your coat was in my seat" I wish I had the balls to do that. It's fabulous to watch!

BetweenTwoLungs · 18/07/2015 10:56

I'm a Y6 teacher currently sorting leavers and I desperately try to get different children to be main parts etc but honestly the majority really don't want to do it! We don't pick on children, we ask for volunteers or 'audition' (everyone who auditions gets a part), so it's more that the same children put themselves forward. When I try and get other children to do it, they don't want to, it's not their thing. For example, we recently did a sketch involving costumes that were quite silly, and the only kids who were up for doing it were the same ones who were heavily involved in the Easter performance.

Saying that, every single child (all 60 of them) says something in our assembly, they're all involved in songs etc and we've persudaded few of the less confident ones to sing little solos in pairs so I've tried!

BetweenTwoLungs · 18/07/2015 10:58

Also agree it's nothing to do with pushy parents, I don't really give the parents a second thought when choosing who to have. Honestly doesn't even enter my head.

sadwidow28 · 18/07/2015 12:06

My DN wasn't ever chosen for anything because he simply didn't want to take part. No amount of persuasion on behalf of the teachers worked ..... until Yr6 when he had started going to drama activities out of school, and the system in Yr6 was that ALL children were involved in the school production. DN was the type of child who would refuse to go into class late because everyone would look at him. (This is important.)

Anyway, he landed the lead male part at school because he was a right little show-off with his mates who also went to drama activities. All was going well with learning his lines and songs until about 2 weeks before when reality hit during rehearsals. The children were told to 'look towards your audience'. He just announced to the teacher that he wasn't doing it. He would be in the chorus at the back but he wasn't going to be the lead at the front because everyone would look at him.

His teacher, DM and I tried persuasion, encouragement, confidence-building, cajoling him to think of the other children he was letting down etc...... but he was pretty stubborn. Everyone was stressed because there wasn't enough time for someone else to learn all the lines and songs.

Eventually, with some amount of bribery, we got DN to agree to do the school production and he could drop out of the drama production activities.

That was such a close call. There is so much more to putting on a school musical than the actual ability to perform well in practices.

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