Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think this is really rude?

22 replies

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/07/2015 19:57

Dd2 has her birthday party tomorrow. She took invitations in at the start of last week, and I put a note asking people to rsvp by Monday this week. Of the 18 invited, I have heard nothing from 5. I put my mobile number and email address so it wouldn't have been hard to send a quick text or email.

So now I have no idea whether or not those 5 will turn up tomorrow. I'm guessing not, but have done a couple of extra party bags just in case.

AIBU to think that a quick text to let me know one way or the other wouldn't be that hard, and it's basic good manners?

OP posts:

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 17/07/2015 20:00

I'm sooo glad that children's parties are behind me.

People are properly impolite over rsvping. I expect they think they're special and normal rules don't apply to them.

honeyroar · 17/07/2015 20:01

You're right. It's rude.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/07/2015 20:13

Yes, tis a problem, but some of the invites might still be at the bottom of a book bag somewhere...

Original poster

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/07/2015 20:24

It's possible they are lurking at the bottom of bags, but dd handed them out to each person, it's hard to imagine a 5 year old girl who would not mention being invited to a party when she was picked up! I know mine would not stop going on about it.

OP posts:

twinklexx · 17/07/2015 20:27

In the area where I currently live, people think you only need to rsvp if you aren't going.
It could be something like that. Or just plain rude

Original poster

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/07/2015 20:38

Oh god, I hope that's not the case!

OP posts:

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/07/2015 21:05

No other way of getting in touch, the dreaded FB or something?

WallyBantersJunkBox · 17/07/2015 21:10

I often thing there's a missed career opportunity in being a kids party bouncer.

Someone thick skinned enough to turn away the non RSVPers and save the party holders embarrassment in return for payment in leftover party food and Haribo Maoams.

(Prepares CV)

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/07/2015 21:16

It could be combined with being a party-planner Wally Do all the invites. Kick arse chase the non-replies, then bounce the rudies at the entrance to said party.

Original poster

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/07/2015 22:55

I don't have any way of getting in touch - to be honest I don't know many of the mums (or kids for that matter!). Dd1 walks dd2 to her reception classroom in the morning as parking is a nightmare. and dd2 normally goes to after school club so I don't see other parents there.

I'll be really cheesed off if they do turn up without letting me know.

OP posts:

Original poster

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/07/2015 22:56

Wally - no cv needed. You're hired!

OP posts:

Original poster

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 17/07/2015 22:57

P.s. That makes it sound like I make them walk to school. I don't, I just turf them out outside the gate.

OP posts:

WallyBantersJunkBox · 18/07/2015 06:09

Too late Fluffy, social services have been informed!

Fallout4 · 18/07/2015 07:07

I don't always RSVP
Sorry but sometimes I forget to do it in time, sometimes I don't even see the invite until months after it because my dc didn't care enough to go to the party to pass it on and sometimes I just couldn't be bothered.
Shock horror, I've even rsvp'd that my dc were going and then not showed up
This all happened over a 13 year period and 3 children's worth of parties so I think that's not bad going that it only happened a couple of times a year.
We don't do birthday parties as my dc prefer the old pick 2 friends for the cinema, bowling, insert activity of choice here and a sleep over job plus they good friends so we don't bother with invites I just asked them to ask their parents if that's ok.
Birthday parties are a minefield these days, much easier back in the good old days.

TheOldestCat · 18/07/2015 07:19

I was guilty of this earlier this week! DD (8) mentioned she had been invited to so-and-so's party but the invite was in her drawer at school. I asked her to bring it home but she is forgetful - and at breakfast and after-school clubs - so the invite never appeared. I got the mum's number from a friend and texted to decline the party and apologise.

So not everyone is being rude. But some are, no doubt!

PistolAnnie · 18/07/2015 07:21

Fallout. You are rude. You are THAT parent...

Over the 13 yrs did you notice the invitations tail off at all?!

blondegirl73 · 18/07/2015 07:21

I think it's rude not to RSVP but I would chase invitations once.

I have also not turned up to a party that we'd RSVPed to - but completely accidentally because I got the dates mixed up.

On a similar note, I had a job interview three months ago that I've not had a response to. Obviously I've not got the job but how long does it take to tell me that?

I hate rudeness.

tumbletumble · 18/07/2015 07:26

I agree it's rude but over the years I've just accepted it. It happens every time so it's not worth getting too worked up about!

TendonQueen · 18/07/2015 07:26

Yes, it's rude. (Fallout, everyone forgets now and then but 'couldn't be bothered' is inconsiderate and costs other people money.)
Having said that, in my experience five non-replies is not bad going. I've done class parties for DS for two years and each time I reckon only about half have replied (15 out of 30). Some of the rest randomly turn up, others don't.

Nanny0gg · 18/07/2015 09:30

and sometimes I just couldn't be bothered.

Nice.

Are you as rude about invitations extended to you?

littlejohnnydory · 18/07/2015 10:00

It is really rude, happens every year and they will probably turn up with siblings. I am guilty this week for the first time ever. Got an invitation last week and in all the end of term mania I forgot to reply. Felt awful when I found the invitation last night. Texted to apologise and say that dd couldn't make it (she probably could have but didn't want to say yes when I'd replied late).

FunkyPeacock · 18/07/2015 10:08

In an ideal world obviously everyone would reply promptly but life sometimes gets in the way!

In general I would always text a reply one way or another asap but have been guilty of forgetting to reply on occasion - I've also had the lost invite situation before

If you have contact details for parents of the 5 you haven't heard from then can you just send a quick text asking if their DC will be at the party?

I agree it's annoying but there is so much going on at the end of term that it's easy to forget

Flip