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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to do housework..

27 replies

waffilyversati1e · 17/07/2015 13:56

..since nobody ever visits?

I do it (here and there when I find the time) but I always stop and just wonder why? it is just neverending and nobody ever sees it when its looking lovely anyway so why not just do something else instead?!

I have family local but they don't bother with us and I have no friends here. Its just me, my husband and our children - and the dog. why bother.

OP posts:
OhahIlostmybra · 17/07/2015 13:58

Yabu. I'm not a clean freak by any stretch of the imagination but I have pride in my home and don't really like the extreme cultivation of germs

FurtherSupport · 17/07/2015 14:08

I think you have to do it reasonably regularly because it's so much easier then. If you keep on top of it, really, there's no need to do more than a couple of hours a week in most houses.

If you leave it, it becomes this big out of control mountain to climb, which is depressing. Surely you don't actually want to live in squalor, even if no-one else knows about it?

Don't your DC ever have friends over?

Nolim · 17/07/2015 14:12

Imo the goal of house work in to have a neat house to live in, not to show off.
What kind of house work are you talking about? Dusting and vaccum clean or polish the silverware?

Dynomite · 17/07/2015 14:13

You think people clean their homes regularly because they're afraid others might see it? No, they do it because most people don't want to live in squalor/mess/dust/dog hair etc.

howabout · 17/07/2015 14:15

I delegate most of my HW to the DC. I am parenting them to be self sufficient adults Grin
YABU to let it get to the stage untidyness or dirt and mess impedes daily life. YANBU not to make a lifestyle out of HW duties and rotas. Tidy and clean as you go and expect the same of all housemates and there never is any HW.

formerbabe · 17/07/2015 15:06

You have two choices

  1. Do housework
  1. Live in a shit tip which it will become if you don't do any housework!

Option 2 will eventually become detrimental to your health and potentially cause you to have problems with vermin.

Fatmomma99 · 17/07/2015 16:00

Are you ok, wafflyversat1e

You sound quite low.

Give yourself a break if you need one! Brew

junebirthdaygirl · 17/07/2015 16:11

I try to do an hour a day and in that time go flat out. Then leave it. If you know it's only for a short spurt it's easier to go for it.

RoobyTuesday · 17/07/2015 16:15

Keep it clean (couple of hours on the weekend) but don't worry about superficial mess - totally impossible to keep a house tidy for too long with so many people in it. It's a shame no one gets to see your lovely clean home though Thanks Hope you are okay.

Eternalsunshines · 17/07/2015 16:20

I clean my house for me and my family. Not for guests.

TokenGinger · 17/07/2015 16:39

It depends what kind of cleaning you're talking about.

I change my bedding weekly, wash the pots in the kitchen every day or so (if there's just two or three plates, I'll scrape them in to the bin and put them in the sink but will leave them until the next day), I'll wash the bath and sink down after showing and brushing teeth just as standard, the toilet after I use it etc. But in terms of doing great big deep cleans, I just don't have the time to do that every day or few days. So dusting and hoovering etc will be done probably every week or two, but takes like 30 mins because of the other things I do daily.

Angie611 · 17/07/2015 17:30

It's really up to you how you live. Some people are clean freaks and can't stand mess, but some people aren't bothered by it. I personally like to keep the house clean and tidy-ish even though, like you, no-one visits, but if you're not bothered by mess then don't bother tidying. There are more interesting things to do after all. So it's your personal preference and its your home, who are we to judge?

Tryharder · 17/07/2015 17:45

Depends on what you mean by 'clean'.

I would find it depressing to live in a filthy house. But I agree that there is no need to maintain show home standards that so many aspire to these days.

Charlesroi · 17/07/2015 17:55

Ooohhh my waffilyversati1e don't you know you are a lesser human if you are not hoovering behind your sofa on a daily basis? Don't you know that people will judge you if your window ledges are less than pristine?
Ignore these silly who really need to get a fucking life people who assign value according to whether you have crisp crumbs next to the sofa or not.
If it ain't unsanitary then ignore. Also ignore some of the MN posters who feel that cleaning for a couple of hours a day makes them some kind of Gandhi figure.

ShadowFire · 17/07/2015 17:56

I don't like doing housework.

But the problem is, if no one does any housework, then the house would get messier and messier, dirtier and dirtier, until it was unfit for human habitation and a prime candidate for one of those TV shows where they show filthy homes being cleaned.

You don't need it to be at show house standard all the time, but for your own sake, you need to be doing some housework to keep your home clean enough for you to live comfortably in.

Murfles · 17/07/2015 18:48

I couldn't live in a shit tip. Bathrooms are cleaned daily, the house is hoovered daily, dog nose marks wiped off glass doors daily, washing and ironing are kept up to date daily, dishes put in the dishwasher as they are used. That's just how we are though. I have friends that don't do much housework and I hate going to their homes, especially dirty toilets. We don't have many people visit us but I like our home to be clean and tidy.

ReginaBlitz · 17/07/2015 19:00

Really?! You don't clean your house for others you do it for yourself and your kids! Would you be happy in an untidy dirty house? Especially having a dog you need to be on top of it!

fourtothedozen · 17/07/2015 19:06

What if the dog shat on the carpet?

Would you just leave it?

missymayhemsmum · 17/07/2015 23:28

YWBU to bring up your children in filth and squalor but YANBU to have an untidy house because you all decided to do something more fun than housework.

Try to lose the oughts and shoulds from your head on this one. Either choose to do it as part of your love for your family or choose not to do it because you don't feel ike it. No-one else's problem either way.

mrsdavidbowie · 17/07/2015 23:37

No one visits me.
But I would be stressed if my house wasn't clean. I can't live with a messy house...crumbs on kitchen floor or dirty bathrooms.

PoundingTheStreets · 17/07/2015 23:58

No one ever dies wishing they'd done more housework (unless NOT doing the housework contributed in some way to their death, I suppose). Some housework is unnecessary; a product of very effective marketing and possibly actually harmful to health (the links between less effective immune systems and scrupulously clean houses, for example).

However, a certain level is necessary for a home to function properly without the occupants getting unwell or living in stress because no one can find anything.

If it's getting you down, how much are the rest of your family contributing? Even small children can help in some way, and any adult should certainly be pulling their weight.

BackforGood · 18/07/2015 00:23

Depends if you mean

...not do any housework...

or

...not to loads of housework.

Of course YWBU to not do any, but YWNBU to limit it to keeping your house clean without going OTT.
However, do it for yourself, not for any guests who might not visit.

catlovingdoctor · 18/07/2015 00:31

You should keep on top of so you have a reasonably clean and ordered environment for your family and you to live in.

SorchaN · 18/07/2015 06:08

YANBU. I haven't done the washing up in 48 hours. And I still have clean plates in the cupboard, so I can probably get away with at least another 24 hours. (I'm actually running an experiment to see if my family will (a) notice; and (b) do any housework without being nagged reminded.)

But in general I have to admit that I agree with previous posters who suggest that you will probably want to get around to it eventually, and it will be harder if you haven't done any for weeks or months.

RJnomore · 18/07/2015 06:14

You know, I used to feel exactly the same. Then someone said to me that they did housework because THEY deserved a nice place to live and relax in. Changed my outlook totally although we are still messy buggers - the work we do feels worth it because it's for us. It's almost about valuing myself and my own right to nice things.

But also balance to have enough time to enjoy life - don't go mad with the duster!