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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - DD pic on FB

21 replies

Sofiathefirst · 15/07/2015 00:25

I've always been a bit miffed when people (DP family) have posted pics of DD on FB without asking me if ok. Some have even done it when I've asked them not to. Specifically DSS. He has taken funny videos taking the mick etc. I've not been happy about it. Anyway, I've just added a lovely (public) profile pic of me and my DD and my DP (her dad) has called me on it. Why is it one rule for me (the mother) and another rule for them??

OP posts:

steff13 · 15/07/2015 00:29

I'm confused; is he upset that you posted public photos of your daughter on FB but ok with his family doing it, or did he point out that you shouldn't post public photos but complain when his family does it?

FannyFifer · 15/07/2015 00:30

Whit?

Ruledbycatsandkids6 · 15/07/2015 00:32

Not sure what 'called me on it' means but guessing he doesn't like it? Why?

There are no rules really are there on fb. If you are on there you are fair game as you accept the friends and you set your security levels. If you are unhappy de friend and tighten up your security profile settings.

Make sure you vet any thing sent to your time line first.

In a few years your dd will be posting all sorts herself.

Personally I would concentrate on what's important in your life. Fb shouldn't be and if it's annoying you just delete

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 15/07/2015 00:36

Could say the same to you, why do you think its ok for you to put up a public photo of your dd on fb if you're upset when other family members do the same thing? I expect he's giving out to you because you're being hypocritical.
Also, you have no right to tell them not to put pictures, since you don't own her and you certainly don't own her image.

msgrinch · 15/07/2015 00:41

Yes op why is it one rule for you and a different one for them? how come you have some right to post a picture but you dislike them doing it? yabu you don't own her.

squishyeyeballs · 15/07/2015 01:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Koalafications · 15/07/2015 01:28

Also, you have no right to tell them not to put pictures, since you don't own her and you certainly don't own her image.

Completley disagree with this. Of course a parent has the right to tell people not to post pictures of their DC on social media. Why on Earth wouldn't they?!

Spartans · 15/07/2015 06:08

When you say he called you out on it? Do you mean he doesn't want her picture on fb or he has called you out on the fact that you keep having a go at his family and son for doing it and now done the same.

I assume it's the latter.

Personally I don't put photos of other people's kids on fb. Avoida any of this. But you don't own dd and if your dp is happy for them to do it, he does get a say too. You are not her only parent.

If he is upset that you have put a photo up. Them surely he should be doing the same to his family when they do it.

Or are their profiles all private and its the fact that you have posted a photo anyone browsing fb can see

SlayZ · 15/07/2015 06:20

I believe it is unfair that you have specifically told family members they cannot share images of her but then have done the same yourself. You have also used it as a profile picture which means everyone will see it it's not just a picture some may miss on your news feed.

Either you are ok with pictures of her on the internet or you are not. If you are not, why have you shared a picture? If you are (which you must be for you to do it) then it is unfair to take the pleasure away from other family members. DP is right to call you on it. Especially when it sounds like it is his son that you told off for doing the same.

siblingrevelryagain · 15/07/2015 06:23

Why don't people want photos of their child on social media? Genuine question.

Bunbaker · 15/07/2015 06:25

It could be a safeguarding issue sibling

TravellingToad · 15/07/2015 06:25

YABU... Sounds like he's calling you out for being a hypocrite!!

SlayZ · 15/07/2015 06:26

Sibling, it's because of all the weirdos out there.

I didn't really want to but as my friends and family are so far away it's a way for everyone to see her grow. I will never post about the school she goes to tho or anything that will put her at risk to strangers.

TeenAndTween · 15/07/2015 06:28

Sibling Why don't people want photos of their child on social media? Genuine question

Generally because we are private-ish people who don't want our whole lives splashed in the internet. And having a blanket rule rather than checking all pictures is easier.

Specifically, because our DDs are adopted and there is possibility of trouble if certain people discover their name/location.

RachelRagged · 15/07/2015 08:43

YABU

He is your DD's Father , a parent too .. You tell Him and his side no pics of D then put one up yourself ? Public at that .

RachelRagged · 15/07/2015 08:44

DD *

ollieplimsoles · 15/07/2015 08:49

Its not a safety issue for me primarily, I just don't want my child's life documented in a public way, especially in a way that is impossible to control.

I'm going to stick up for you op, I would feel happy putting the odd post up on fb about my dc, but my profile is set to private and I only have people I know in real life on my personal page. If other people start sharing photos of your DD, you don't know who is on their friends list or who can see that photo.

Koalafications · 15/07/2015 09:01

Why don't people want photos of their child on social media? Genuine question.

For me it is more 'why would I want photos of my DD on social media?!

It seems to me that posting your life on social media is now the 'default' and it's unusual of you don't want to do it.

I just don't see any benefit of doing it.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 15/07/2015 11:16

Missing the point. You literally don't own your image or your child's, that is the point. If someone takes your or your kids photo, its their photo, being the subject makes no difference to what can be done with that photo, other than commercial control.

This is something large amounts of people on here just can't understand. They think there has to be some rule that you can control photos of your children. Not true.

In this particular instance however, op is posting public photos if her kid while telling other family members including the childs father that they aren't allowed. her dp is quite rightly telling her to bugger off.

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 15/07/2015 11:19

YABU - if its not ok for others to put pictures up, then its not ok for you to either!

fuckthetaps · 15/07/2015 12:11

Are you saying it's ok for you to put them up but her father and brother can't? If so I can see their point. More distant relations would be a no from me too.

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