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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find statements like this on OD profiles very discouraging

16 replies

DadfromUncle · 14/07/2015 15:20

This is from a woman 3 years older than me (she is 55) -

"Where all the fit middle aged men have gone ..and why men all look the same after 45 and its generally not a pretty sight"

I mean, am I supposed to message her on the off chance that I don't fit into that category?
Why has she set her age range 30-59? shouldn't it be 20-45?

I know I should just ignore and move on, but it makes me feel like there's not much hope...

OP posts:
UncertainSmile · 14/07/2015 15:25

Unless she looks like Salma Hayek then she's got a fucking nerve.

butterfly133 · 14/07/2015 16:32

I would find that discouraging
my DP is older, a gym bunny, bleeping gorgeous and I think he would too. It sounds like she is expecting George Clooney - no wait, it sounds like she would criticise him as well.

Doesn't sound good. Move on!!

primarynoodle · 14/07/2015 16:49

no and if it was a guy saying he was only interested in women 10 years younger (and any ladies over that age were 'past it') he would be slated for being a pig!

very rude thing to say and says alot about her as a person!

TongueBiter · 14/07/2015 16:51

An (ex) friend of mine was always disparaging of her dates' physique - she was no Miss World and I thought she was a hypocrite every time she said it.

TendonQueen · 14/07/2015 16:53

She's an idiot. Bullet dodged.

MitzyLeFrouf · 14/07/2015 16:54

She's a tit.

Such a negative way to try and attract a date.

CainInThePunting · 14/07/2015 17:11

No, YANBU, but I doubt she will get much interest.

I gave up on the idea of OD after reading such things on men's profile too, it's the list of what they don't want and "don't bother getting in touch if you are any of these things as I will not reply, don't waste your time or mine, sorry (are you feck) if that's offensive but it's what I want"
These guys weren't exactly faultless.

Then there were the ones who used their profiles as a board to vent about someone they had met. Really off putting.

Fortunately, she is just one person.
As I keep being told ad nauseam, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Sorry, just typing that makes my teeth itch. Grin

Nevergoingtolearn · 14/07/2015 17:18

I'm sure she will get plenty of dates (not) Hmm

I'm doing OLD at the moment and I'm finding it all rather disturbing, I have had men message me saying ' please can you send me more photos of you, prefubly body shots and then I can decide if I want to meet you', most of these men are obese, look dirty and I wouldn't ever wanted go on a date with them yet they are expecting a Barrie doll body.

Really, you need to take less offence though and just move on. I actually find older men very attractive ( have dated meant in their late 40's early 50's and I'm in my early 30's ), she's obviously being very fussy and will probably never find her perfect date.

RachelRagged · 14/07/2015 17:54

lol

Don't see her getting far in the dating game

SaucyJack · 14/07/2015 17:58

I'm not offended- provided she's not a hypocrite.

If she's kept herself in good nick, then I don't find it surprising she wants to find a partner with similar priorities.

And no one likes moobs

DadfromUncle · 15/07/2015 14:15

Thanks all - as it happens she is one of the many hundreds on there with a usrname inexplicably incorporating "thecat" which was offputting in the first place, but I take on board SaucyJack's point - fair comment I guess.

OP posts:
knittingdad · 15/07/2015 14:18

Isn't this one of the advantages of online dating?

This woman is judgemental about the appearances of middle-aged men. I don't like that. Next!

You only need to find one person, so if all the others give a clear signal that they aren't that one person it makes the task that much easier.

wafflyversatile · 15/07/2015 14:24

The thing with statements like these (apart from being rude) is that you still don't know what her idea of acceptable or unacceptable is so she's putting off men who she might actually find acceptable.

So I've sometimes been surprised to get contact from someone then see their profile is disparaging of what I consider my body type to be, they obviously disagree.

So a foolish thing to put but from your point of view it's all useful in letting you decide if this is someone you want to contact or not.

glasgowlass · 15/07/2015 14:27

She sounds like a bit of a fud TBH. I reckon she'd be very hard work.

MitzyLeFrouf · 15/07/2015 14:38

It's absolutely fine to not want to go out with someone who isn't in amazing shape but to be so open about their disdain for any men/women who don't match their ideal is a good indication that they're a tosser.

hellsbellsmelons · 15/07/2015 15:13

The grammar alone would have me running a mile.

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