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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cut off a 'friend' with no explanation

26 replies

PaintingFingers · 29/06/2015 18:25

I have reasons but I just can't be bothered to have her in my life anymore. My dad recently died and I just feel to make changes in my life and that includes cutting some people off.
I've only known her about 1year in that year she has done some questionable things like expecting me to drop her places for free and once started an argument with me and told me "don't contact me again or il block you" because I refused to drop her to work at 6am when we had just finished clubbing.
She apologised but that incident sticks in my head that she is a user.
That was last year.

She says negative things about interracial dating and I'm mixed race.

She doesn't know where I live because I have recently moved and then my dad died so she hasn't had a chance to come to my house but tbh I just don't trust her especially since I'm going to get a large lump of inhertitance.

She has been calling me the last week and I've been ignoring her, earlier today she called me six times in a row then messaged me saying "you're lucky I don't know where your house is stop ignoring me I miss you"
Is this creepy or am I being paranoid?

Aibu? Just wondering your opinion if I owe her an explanation or if I should talk to her but distance myself

OP posts:
Sandbrook · 29/06/2015 18:28

You've only known her about a year and you have some bad vibes from her over a few things, that's reason enough for me.

Tell her you don't want to maintain the friendship and leave it at that. Though something about her last text worries me that she might not be that easy to get rid of.

pasturesgreen · 29/06/2015 18:28

Yanbu, you have no obligation whatsoever to this person. You haven't known her long and, tbh, she doesn't sound like a friend at all. Cut off without any qualms.

formerbabe · 29/06/2015 18:29

When I saw your thread title I was all ready to say yabu!

But after reading your thread, I'd distance mysrlf and not bother to offer an explanation unless she asks you.

She says negative things about interracial dating and I'm mixed race

This is reason enough IMO.

SycamoreMum · 29/06/2015 18:29

Sweet baby Jesus all these psycho friend threads today.

Don't contact her. She actually sounds like she'd bump you off for your inheritance!

Ignore, ignore, ignore Wine

Pumpkinpositive · 29/06/2015 18:30

If you'd rather avoid possible conflict, you could tell her that you need some time to yourself after your dad's death and the move. And that you'll be in touch at some unspecified time in the future.

And then change your number. Or block her.

JulyKit · 29/06/2015 18:31

She has been calling me the last week and I've been ignoring her, earlier today she called me six times in a row then messaged me saying "you're lucky I don't know where your house is stop ignoring me I miss you"

Very creepy indeed. That is not the behaviour of a friend. No way would I want the person you describe in my life. I can't imagine why you would. She's done more than enough to merit being unfriended by you.

Either ignore her, or, if you really want her to go away - and if I was you I would - just text her telling her not to contact you again. If she contacts you after that, tell her you will report her to the police as she is harassing you. If she contacts you after that, report her.

If you think that she'll go as far as that, don't delete her messages. You may need them as evidence.

DarthVadersTailor · 29/06/2015 18:31

YANBU. Send that bitch her friend P45, why waste the time with her? Doing it in cold fashion is probably the most hassle free way too, sounds like of you gave her an explanation she'd kick off and make it more hassle that it's worth.

annielouisa · 29/06/2015 18:32

You have your reasons if your mixed race and she has made derogatory remarks about interracial dating that dissing your parentage. I am mixed race and that would be enough for me and the fact she is demanding user is another reson.

If she starts to stalk you I think 1 clear leave me alone message and then block her. If she escalates it call 101 and get advice.

Sorry about your dad you need to spend your time thinking about good memories and people who mattered not high maintenance so called friends.

BarbarianMum · 29/06/2015 18:35

I don't read the comment about 'knowing where your house is' as creepy, I read it as jokey. I also think its cruel to dump her but not let her know. Why not waste a minute of your new life to text her goodbye? You don't have to explain.

Spog · 29/06/2015 18:40

YANBU.
cut her off. she sounds mental.

annielouisa · 29/06/2015 18:40

Barbarian mum do you think the friend sounds like she would take a no explanation brush off?

BarbarianMum · 29/06/2015 18:51

I think if the OP doesn't contact her she will keep in trying to get in touch. And even after a year it's polite to make it clear that the friendship is over. Or the OP could phase her out gently. But dropping her without a word - I think that is unreasonable, sorry.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 29/06/2015 18:55

I don't get any of these threads, and there are plenty.
"I've got this friend who I don't like and/or is really weird, aibu to not talk to them/see them less etc"

I mean, come on! You have to ask? Just text her and say please don't contact me again, and block her.

Heebiejeebie · 29/06/2015 18:59

I'd send a text saying that after your dad's death you were re-evaluating some things and you couldn't forgive her comments about mixed race dating. So you think it best to leave things as they are

Original poster
PaintingFingers · 29/06/2015 19:00

BarbarianMum I think it was jokey but I just don't trust her, she has done to many questionable things and she is to demanding, constantly calling me I just want space to be with my family.

OP posts:
SylvaniansAtEase · 29/06/2015 19:08

Yes drop.

If it makes it easier:

'Hi. Not really feeling like socialising at the moment, got a lot on and just want some time out after my dad. Please don't call me time after time and tell me to stop ignoring you, I don't like feeling harassed like that.'

hopefully that will piss her off enough for her to drop you, but you haven't said anything totally rude.

BarbarianMum · 29/06/2015 19:36

I'm not saying don't end the friendship, anything but. Just that you should let her know. Then block her.

Original poster
PaintingFingers · 29/06/2015 19:36

Thanks everyone for advice
Ease I think I will send her that thanks

OP posts:
FantasticButtocks · 29/06/2015 19:43

I think you need to say something otherwise she's going to keep on hassling. Sylvanian's response is spot on and cannot be argued with.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 29/06/2015 20:01

Sylvanians post is very good and says what it needs to without engaging in lengthy discussion. I think trust your instincts.

MrsV2012 · 29/06/2015 20:48

OP... Run! Run run run as fast as your legs can carry you. When you get there, pat off the dust, breathe, then run a bit further just to be sure. YANBU, she sounds utterly vile.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 30/06/2015 13:11

Yup! Run! . You've only known her a year and she has already done things that are questionable! What other reasons do you need!

amarmai · 30/06/2015 13:47

agree with everyone -get rid of+ do not give any personal info re father's death. She is a user .Trust your instincts and protect yourself.

Hissy · 30/06/2015 13:56

Hope it goes well love, condolences for your Dad. Flowers

QueenofallIsee · 30/06/2015 15:52

drop her like a brick, she sounds god awful. Ignore and block!