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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think left over prom money should be given back?

43 replies

settimocielo · 18/06/2015 13:26

The prom committee at DD's school was made up of 3 self appointed girls.

They collected the money and booked the hotel. They did a good job, everyone had a lovely night.

However, they collected £200 too much. They have announced today that it was donated to charity.

I am a bit Hmm- it's an awful lot of money and I really think it should have been divided back up and given back to the rest of the kids. There was about 60 of them, so that's about £3 each.

Is that being stingy over £3?

OP posts:
elderflowerlemonade · 18/06/2015 13:28

I think that is a little stingy I'm afraid.

LondonHuffyPuffy · 18/06/2015 13:28

Um, yes. I think YAB a wee bit U. £3 is a fairly small amount of money individually but collectively it's a nice amount for a charity. It would have been nice of them to let you know first and to get some consensus on which charity the majority wanted to support

Seriouslyffs · 18/06/2015 13:28

Yes. £3 won't make a difference to most and many teenagers would waste it anyway. Did they say which charity? It could make a big difference to a local foodbank for example.

Marylou2 · 18/06/2015 13:29

These 3 girls worked hard to organise the prom.Everyone had a good time and now a charity has benefitted too. YABVU.

Gatekeeper · 18/06/2015 13:30

I agree that they should have taken suggestions regarding charities and gone with the majority

I wouldn't have expected a refund if it was only £3

EmmaLL25 · 18/06/2015 13:30

I imagine it could be quite impractical getting money back to 60 people so this seems a more sensible option.

Original poster
settimocielo · 18/06/2015 13:31

It would have been nice of them to let you know first and to get some consensus on which charity the majority wanted to support

You're right, I think that is where they have gone wrong. They haven't said which charity.

Glad I didn't make an arse of myself in real life then!

OP posts:
TTWK · 18/06/2015 13:32

OP, were you prepared to take the £200 and do all the work of redistributing £3.33 to the 60 people concerned. Or were you just wanting to sit on your arse and expect them to have the hassle?

yummumto3girls · 18/06/2015 13:32

Agree, the logistics of returning £3 to 60 girls is just not worth it. A great idea to give it to charity.

SurelyNotEh · 18/06/2015 13:33

YABU over £3 per person, but I do think they could have taken a vote on the charity.

But they've done a lot with all the organising so perhaps they just wanted to be done with it and fair enough.

Expecting them to coordinate handing 3 quid back to each of 60 people is VVU.

FryOneFatManic · 18/06/2015 13:33

The prom committee at DD's school was made up of 3 self appointed girls.

If other people wanted input, perhaps they could have stirred themselves to join the committee.

£3 per person refund for 60 odd people is a lot of hassle, so I'd have no quibble on a donation to charity.

SurelyNotEh · 18/06/2015 13:35

Yes they need to say which charity Confused

But good on them for doing so much work.

SurlyCue · 18/06/2015 13:35

I would want to see proof it was donated tbh.

Original poster
settimocielo · 18/06/2015 13:36

If other people wanted input, perhaps they could have stirred themselves to join the committee.

No one was welcome to join it- but that's a whole other issue!

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 18/06/2015 13:36

The cost to return it would outweigh the amount. Our school system Parent pay cost £1 per transaction either way. Most business accounts charge around 60p per cheque!

Agree a vote on which charity might have been nice but we have a voted on charity per year group at our school so they might have nominated charities already.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 18/06/2015 13:36

Sounds like they've done sterling work. I hate proms with a passion, but fair play to them.

lilivonshtupp · 18/06/2015 13:38

What a lovely idea these three girls had.

The fact that they booked it all and everyone enjoyed it is amazing. Then to think of such a thoughtful thing is great. £3 would be a really tricky amount of money to return. The fact they didn't say which charity is a tiny omission by schoolchildren (I'm assuming by 'girls' you mean the organisers were schoolgirls). If you are really concerned about it, you could ask them and then suggest to the school secretary for this information to be put in the school newsletter.

I'm glad you didn't say anything OP - you would have looked like one of those people who sit on their arses moaning about all the petty stuff that volunteers 'get wrong'. It's things like that that make people give up volunteering because the moaners make so much hard work. You did the right thing in checking here.

ItsTricky · 18/06/2015 13:40

Yabu over £3 but they should have asked at least a few of the attendees which charity they would like the money to go too. Most areas have good causes locally

londonrach · 18/06/2015 13:41

Very good idea of the girls as returning £3 to over 60 people would be a nightmare. Better it went to charity. Sounds like they gained alot from organising the event. I hope your dd enjoyed her prom

DisconcertedAndRetired · 18/06/2015 13:42

For £3 per person, not only is it too much effort to give it back, it's not worth the effort of asking people which charity to give it to. In fact I think doing the latter without getting involved in any protracted discussions, disputes or drama would be considerably more difficult than giving the money back.

lydiarobinson · 18/06/2015 13:43

Seems perfectly reasonable to me. I thought you were going to say they kept the money as 'payment' for all their hard work.

If it had been ten pounds per person then yes, maybe re-distribute it. But £3 just isn't worth the hassle.

Cabrinha · 18/06/2015 13:58

Very unreasonable!
What's with the "self appointed" dig? Your daughter was happy to have the advantage of their efforts Hmm

£3 would be a hassle to return, and it's less than the cost of a cheap meal out.

I don't think it matters that they chose the charity either. These 3 girls are prepared to do things, take decisions. No time now for those who CBA to start wanting a choice.

manicinsomniac · 18/06/2015 14:27

YABU - unless you suspect the vague 'gave it to charity' as 'spent it on ourselves'?!

Yes, the could have taken a vote on the charity. But, as they did all that hard work, I'd have no problem with them choosing a charity they wanted to support either.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 18/06/2015 14:34

In our sixth form all the financial bits for these sorts of events went through the school anyway, so although the organising committee did all the work, the invoices went to the school for payment, as did all the ticket money from students. The organising committee simply had a budget from ticket sales plus contribution from the school, they didn't have the event cash in their bank accounts.

If this was the case here, then it's unlikely the students pocketed the £200 excess and I think it's lovely that they've donated it to charity. They probably should have said which one but they're teenage girls possibly organising an event for the first time, so I'd cut them some slack.

Original poster
settimocielo · 18/06/2015 14:37

What's with the "self appointed" dig? Your daughter was happy to have the advantage of their efforts

Yes, but she would really have liked to help out too and was sharply told to mind her own business.

I don't think it was done through the school but I'm not sure.

OP posts:
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