Is this an unreasonable request for my birthday?

[AdventureBe]

I don't want anything and would prefer Dh and Dc don't spend their money on me.

I love our garden, but for various reasons haven't given it as much attention as I'd like this year and it's looking unkempt.

I was thinking of suggesting that rather than presents this year, we all spend a day (or afternoon?) knocking it back into shape. I'll even provide beer, cakes, soft drinks.....

What do you reckon? What are the chances of DC (12 & 14, no interest in the garden usually) of actually doing it?

We could have a BBQ to celebrate once it's done.

You will dangle a carrot of beer cakes and soft drinks to your 12 and 14 year old to get them to garden!? Blimey!

Great idea! But they should provide their own beer, cakes etc. It's your birthday, you should be waited on, not wait on them!

I think that's a great idea.

No Quint, to try and make it more party, than chore.

Great idea if that's what you fancy....

But don't provide beer and food and a BBQ.

That's up to them to make it special.

I think your kids should help you out with the garden because they should rather than use your birthday as a means to get them to do it. All you're doing is just confirming that the garden work is your job.

the beer was obviously for her hubby.

Dcs should help if asked anyway. You really are putting yourself at the bottom of the pile.

I'm torn. No point having things for the sake of it.

HOWEVER its a bit crap for your present to consist of 'family pitching in to sort out communal area like they should be expected to anyway'. Kind of puts you at the bottom of the family importance list doesn't it? Oh don't worry about Mum, we get birthday presents, but her birthday treat is that we tidy up.

I'd make everyone do it (or get DH to make everyone do it) the weekend before your birthday. Then have a BBQ on your birthday. And some presents, even if they are small ones. I bet you'd like some gin/books/flowers really...

Oh dear, I've obviously misled people somehow.

The garden is "my" garden because I love it and "control" it. That's how I want it. DS1 mows the lawn every week, DS1 sweeps the (huge) driveway and they both do weeding often, for pocket money. They don't see it as a hobby as I do and it's got behind because I've been too busy to tell people what I want them to do.

A day of everyone working in the garden together would be idyllic for me, but I can't expect everyone to love what I love.

It's a shame that you have to bribe them to help out. Tell them you would like some garden center vouchers so you can go choose some nice plants and on the day you will all work on the garden followed by a bbq. I wouldn't make the gardening part your gift.

How about asking them all to help you get the garden into shape before your birthday, so you can have a nice BBQ there to celebrate when the work is done?

Ah cross post in that case yes if that is how you would like to spend your birthday then that is fine - just remind them of all the places you've had to drag yourself around that they enjoy and you don't!

I have got to be honest with you, I have a garden that is less low maintenance than I had hoped it would be, and I usually get started on my own, and somehow, the kids are pointed out tasks to do!
And before they know it, they have done half a day worth of gardening.

Well personally i would love this. Especially the BBQ and drinks/cake at the end. But i think they should organise that as part of the gift.

If it is what you would like then it sounds like a great idea!

Sounds like a good idea, and what about a trip to a garden centre then they can get you some plants as a present too?

I think if this is how you wish to spend your birthday then you should, sounds lovely btw.

This actually sounds really nice to me!

It sounds nice to me too.

Ropey your mates in too, it sounds a lovely idea.