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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stay with a young child doing an activity?

27 replies

HRMumness · 12/06/2015 22:20

I took my (almost) 3 year old girl to her first dance class today. It's for 3-5 year olds and the class runs for an hour. People running the class seem friendly and have no complaints but after we arrived and did some admin, they led my daughter away to the class and said that parents were to wait outside the class.

AIBU to expect that parents would have the option of being able to watch and keep an eye on how a very young child is doing at an activity or is this the norm for certain activities?

OP posts:
meglet · 12/06/2015 22:22

I get the impression it's quite common in dance classes.

schoolclosed · 12/06/2015 22:22

I've only ever heard of this for dance, but I don't think it's uncommon in that field. I found a class which would let parents watch because I didn't like it. Then when she outgrew that class, I gently encouraged DD to do something else!

ImNotMeImSomeoneElse · 12/06/2015 22:23

Yabu.

Ime of normal for the parents to stay outside for dance classes otherwise they get distracted. You are just outside if they need you.

hiddenhome · 12/06/2015 22:24

Having a parent there might be distracting for them.

drspouse · 12/06/2015 22:25

DS goes to 3-4yo ballet and this is the same.

Oddly at the same dance studio they have 2-4yo Music and Movement type thing and parents must participate in that. I'd rather go to that one but it clashes with something at the moment, and if I have to participate DD would probably cry but I may try and move to the other day when DD is old enough that I can pretend she's participating.

MrsNextDoor · 12/06/2015 22:26

Yabu. Parents get in the way and get fussy and chat.

nancy75 · 12/06/2015 22:26

I work for a sports coaching company, we encourage parents to go/ wait outside because the kids behave and listen better without the parents. We do usually let the patent sit in for the first class.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 12/06/2015 22:26

Normal for dance classes and gymnastics here too.

nancy75 · 12/06/2015 22:27

Drspouse, the thing for 2 year olds will probably need parents to stay for insurance, we can't get insurance for under 3s unless parent is present.

kslatts · 12/06/2015 22:30

My daughter went to dance classes for 12 years and now helps out with the younger children's class. The reason they say no parents is because generally the children become distracted easier with their parents in the room.

drspouse · 12/06/2015 22:37

Interesting nancy, it is very much a class designed for parent to look like complete loons rather than sit on the side, I assumed it was a dance philosophy thing!

Supersoft · 12/06/2015 23:24

Very normal for dance classes. Our local dance school takes kids from 12 months but they must be left.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/06/2015 23:35

Normal. Swimming classes too, on their own from 3.

2rebecca · 13/06/2015 00:25

As long as I was near by I was happy to leave them. At nursery or play group you leave them so I don't see the problem with activity classes. If they aren't happy you don't send them again for a while but mine were fine

Fatmomma99 · 13/06/2015 00:29

Is it ballet? They tend to be VERY prissy about this.

BackforGood · 13/06/2015 00:32

Very normal and very sensible. The dc respond so much better without parents sticking their oar in (this continues when dc are much older in some spectator sports).
If you don't trust the staff then wait until she is older and you might be ready to. You did start by saying that it's for 3-5 yr olds and you took your 2 yr old.....

DancingDinosaur · 13/06/2015 00:37

Completely the norm. If its a dance class where they move through exams, then they need the children to concentrate, not be looking at mummy. My dd does the same, we get to go in twice a year to see what they've learnt. Which is fine.

PtolemysNeedle · 13/06/2015 00:41

It's fine for them to not have parents watching, you just have to decide whether your child is ready for a class like that or not.

Original poster
HRMumness · 13/06/2015 05:45

She is 3 next month and I did check with the teacher before enrolling her that this would be ok. She also has been at home with me full time, I've left her with family and friends before plus the odd babysitter but she hasn't attended nursery etc.

Obviously this is the done thing with dance which is fair enough. I grew up in Australia and it was different as far as I can remember for my gymnastics.

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 13/06/2015 05:52

Very sensible I think- much better not to have parents in the way.

diggerdigsdogs · 13/06/2015 06:09

HRM I'm in Aus - perth and sydney. DD was left in Ballet from 3. Gymnastics tend to be left slightly later (4 or 5 IIRC) because parents are expected to help. They don't need to help in Ballet/dance/movement.

Same for football. Left from 3ish.
Music is left from 4.
Karate is left from 4.
Tennis is left from 4.

We don't do ALL of these things but having moved cities twice in 3 years I've investigated it a lot.

Oh and I used to take DD to a ballet class where parents joined in from 2 - 3 and then kids went solo at 3. DD behaved FAR worse when I was there.

hels71 · 13/06/2015 07:15

Dd started ballet at 3. They let parents stay for the first class if they wanted then not after that. We get to watch a class twice or three times a year to see what they have been doing. Same when she started tap and modern.

drspouse · 13/06/2015 09:35

Swimming we don't go in the water at 3 but all the parents watch (or take a younger sibling in for their own swim at the other side of the same pool)

Silvercatowner · 13/06/2015 09:38

Reminds me of "Friends" - you don't watch a dance class "you DANCE a dance class". Dance - particularly ballet - is very disciplined and parents can get in the way or be a distraction.

drspouse · 13/06/2015 10:54

I am laughing at the idea of three year olds doing ballet in a disciplined way.

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