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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how dangerous this is?

15 replies

MrsNextDoor · 10/06/2015 23:22

We live in a four flat block. Two flats up and two down.

There's a shared staircase and hall leading to a shared back garden...attached to the shared back garden are 4 private gardens...one for each flat.

I often sit in ours at about 7.00pm....just for a little quiet time...and my neighbour who like me, lives on the top floor, sometimes comes down to visit me in my garden and sit for a while.

Tonight, DH called down from our window to say to neighbour "You've left your flat door open!"

She has a 2 year old child who was fast asleep in her cot...DH was horrified as the child could climb out of the cot and come out...and perhaps fall down the concrete stairs...they are steep and sharp edged.

She's never climbed out of her cot yet was the neighbour's answer...and she didn't think it an issue.

There are no gates in her flat...she seemed convinced that because her DD has never climbed out of her cot yet, she won't whilst she's asleep...she kept saying "She's flat out! Of course she won't climb out!"

I did try to gently suggest that the first time WILL arrive and it would be bad if it were while she'd left the door open but she wouldn't accept it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
wowfudge · 10/06/2015 23:25

Maybe she felt criticised and got defensive?

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 10/06/2015 23:26

Yes. DH was imo a bit abrupt but I think that's because he thought it was a mistake that it was open...I didn't tell her it was wrong...I did tell her a story about how my DDs both did their first cot escapes pretty suddenly.

OP posts:
TwinkieTwinkle · 10/06/2015 23:26

Perhaps she has a stair gate on her daughter's bedroom?

arethereanyleftatall · 10/06/2015 23:26

Depends on the child. My dd2 would never ever attempt anything where she thought she might hurt herself. We took the stair gates down for her as she never even attempted to climb unless there was someone there with her. For her, this situation wouldnotbe dangerous. I guess your neighbour knows her own child.

ErrolTheDragon · 10/06/2015 23:27

YABU to have warned her - you never know when the first time a kid does something will be. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's much you can do if she won't take your advice.

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 10/06/2015 23:28

Twinkle no.No gates at all.

Atall yes...some don't climb much at all...ours both did...I did say to DH "Well she knows best." But then second guessed myself later...it does seem a bit reckless in retrospect.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 10/06/2015 23:30

Some don't climb much....until they do.

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 10/06/2015 23:33

Errol I think that was DH's line of thought. He later said that he'd also worry about an intruder as the front door is sometimes left off the lock by the downstairs residents and it faces the street so if someone wanted to they could just walk in....sitting in the garden we'd have no idea at all.

OP posts:
DoJo · 10/06/2015 23:53

It really does depend on the child - mine was always a climber and there was no doubt that he would escape from his cot as soon as he found a way, whereas I know a couple of kids who I would have bet money on never climbing out of their cots and they never did - all in beds now as they are mostly approaching about 4 and there's one who still couldn't climb out of a cot if you left his bodyweight in chocolate buttons on the other side.

You've warned her now, she's had a chance to consider it and maybe she will think twice about it in the future, but she may well be right about her child so all you can do is let it go...

MrsHenryMountbattenWindsor · 11/06/2015 00:00

Never mind leaving the door open, she left a sleeping 2yo on her own?!

Is no one else a bit Shock by that?

LadyNym · 11/06/2015 06:22

Hmmm. I'm torn. On the one hand, I do think it partly depends on the child. DS1 would never have climbed out of his cot (and never did). He refused to even attempt to climb up stairs with help until after he was a year and a half. DS2 is completely different and I have no doubt he will do it at some point. It's just a matter of time!

On the other hand, even though DS1 wouldn't have climbed out of his cot his bedroom door was always shut (though, that's partly because we have two cats).

Did your neighbour at least have a baby monitor with her so she'd have heard any waking/attempt to climb etc.?

MosquitoBike · 11/06/2015 08:18

MrsHenry I'm sure loads of people leave their children asleep upstairs and go and sit outside in the garden in the evening. I'm not sure that is really shocking.

We have one who would never have managed to climb out of a cot, and one who did. There was no point having gates with the climber because she climbed over them.

I can also be 99% certain that the climber will not wake in the 2 hours after falling asleep, and if she did she would cry rather than get out of bed.

If she's in a sleeping bag, its even less likely she would be able to climb out.

She knows her child best.

WiIdfire · 11/06/2015 08:21

I treated a baby in A&E who fell down the stairs because her mum was sure she couldn't crawl yet.
Baby was fine, but theres always a first time!

shrunkenhead · 11/06/2015 08:30

I left my child asleep while I picked the washing in last night.....I see what you're saying but you've mentioned your concerns to your neighbour you can't really do any more...

MrsHenryMountbattenWindsor · 11/06/2015 14:47

Going out to your own garden is very different to leaving a shared building and visit the neighbours.

Who on here would leave their sleeping child in bed, with the front door open, so they could go and sit in their neighbours garden?

I wouldn't dream of leaving my house with my sleeping kids inside and tbh can't imagine anyone I know doing that.

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