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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the pre school I work in is being discriminatory. .

40 replies

Twomky · 10/06/2015 19:27

They have asked parents to pay £2 for a Father's Day gift to be made by the children. Fair enough as a fundraiser, but the children of any parent that doesn't pay up will not be able to do the activity.. this strikes me as wrong and unfair on the children, we are talking about under 4s. Apparently it would happen in schools, but I've never heard of it in my DC's school. Staff have tried to resist it but Fundraising Committee are formidable and make statements like 'its only a couple of quid' and talk about parent's apathy towards helping out. I think its out of order.. but maybe its just tough??

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 10/06/2015 19:28

That does seem very unfair.

SewingBox · 10/06/2015 19:33

It wouldn't happen in schools, we can ask parents to pay but we can't exclude a child whose parents doesn't pay from the activity. If the parts are reusable, like when we make electric cars, they can't take it home unless they've paid but they still get to make one.

I'm sorry, I don't know if there are similar rules for pre-schools though.

bustraintram · 10/06/2015 19:34

Under what protected characteristic is it discrimination?

It seems unfair and I question what the parents are paying for if they can't find £2 for craft stuff but it's not discriminatory

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/06/2015 19:54

well I think it's mean. even for theatre trips etc costing £35, DDs school makes it clear that they are asking for voluntary contributions and there are still palces for children who cant pay.

Our kids alll made lovely things for mothers & fathers day at pre school, no charge for any of them. part of the normal arts and crafts type activities.

now more to the point, what is being done for the DC who do not have a dad/father figure?? can it be adapted to make it for their mum? will they be shoved in a corner with something else to do along with the non payers??

izmoll1 · 10/06/2015 20:20

It is discrimination. I had exactly the same issue in the preschool that I worked in. I was the SENCo and therefore knew how inappropriate it was, but unfortunately the committee saw fit to railroad the staff and used it as an opportunity to fundraise. Every child should have the same opportunity to access every activity whilst in a school or preschool. That is the law.

SisterMoonshine · 10/06/2015 20:29

I don't think our preschool even do Father's Day cards, because of the can of worms it can open.
They make something generically male like a lion with a mane, so it's there as a gift if wanted, but nothing is said about Father's Day.

manicinsomniac · 10/06/2015 20:32

It's not discrimination but it's very unfair and mean.

Discopanda · 10/06/2015 20:37

Can't the kids without dads make it for their granddad, uncle, etc? I'm from a single parent family and we made cards for GD for it.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/06/2015 20:42

Yes it is discrimination. How do they know the parents have the spare £2.
I didn't think an education authority was allowed to penilise a child for hardship.

SisterMoonshine · 10/06/2015 20:51

I don't see why not Discopanda, but I'm guessing the preschool staff are just avoiding the conversations it would take to find out who to make them for.

ReallyTired · 10/06/2015 21:09

I think its illegal to charge a top up for a child who has funding. I have never known anything like this happen in a school. It is cruel to treat young children in this way.

I bloodly hope that OFSTED decide to pay a visit on the day.

BreadmakerFan · 10/06/2015 21:15

That's disgraceful.

In our school we offer all children the chance to buy a gift for daddy. They don't have too. If some don't want too, or more likely mum doesn't want too, they just stay in the class while the other children come out a couple at a time to choose.

izmoll1 · 10/06/2015 21:16

The issue is not who the card/present is made for. The child could pay £2 and put anyone's name on it. The issue is that only children who have paid get the opportunity to participate in the activity. It is discrimination because the Equal Opportunities Act states that within schools ( and preschools ) all children should have equal access to every activity that is offered. The OP's preschool committee are on a very sticky wicket and should listen to the staff who know what OFsted require of them with regard to inclusion.

crazykat · 10/06/2015 21:18

Some parents don't have a spare £2 bustraintram. How many threads are there on here where people are asking for cheap meal ideas as they only have £30 to feed everyone for the week? £2 is a lot to many families and for these families it is discrimination as their child will have to watch the others make a gift and be unable to join in because their parent doesn't have a spare £2.

Slightly off topic but at my dcs school they usually make cards for mothers day but nothing for fathers day which I think is completely unfair. Yes it can open a can of worms but there are also children who have lost their mum/mum walked out who still make mothers day cards so why not do the same for fathers?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/06/2015 21:28

If I knew the setting in question. I would be calling ofsted and reporting them without any qualms at all.

littlejohnnydory · 10/06/2015 21:28

Our school did painted plates sold for £5 each for mothers' day. Everyone painted a plate but couldn't take it home for their mum without the fiver being paid. One little girl in dd's class was the only one whose mum didn't pay and she looked so sad. The mum has five children. The school are always doing things like this and it stinks.

BlackbirdOnTheWire · 10/06/2015 21:41

What happened to painting a picture?!?

Amummyatlast · 10/06/2015 22:06

There is no Equal Opportunities Act izmoll1. Do you mean the Equality Act 2010?

WyrdByrd · 10/06/2015 22:21

Certainly wouldn't happen at the maintained nursery where I work.

We'd do an activity that they could all enjoy and take home and might have a box for voluntary donations if parents were invited in to take part, but most probably not.

BabyMurloc · 10/06/2015 22:41

Our school/nursery make cards for both. It's done out of general craft materials. No one has to pay. They always say make a card for mum/dad or someone special.

As a parent I'd rather have a handmade card than anything else. The point of mothers day/fathers day to me is for the KIDS to do something for you. Making cards is something they can ALL do, even when small.

izmoll1 · 10/06/2015 23:32

Amummyatlast - apologies , yes I do mean that. Been away from it all for a while.

Devora · 10/06/2015 23:38

Of course it's not just about poverty. Kids whose parents are too disorganised/forgetful/busy/mean to send in the money shouldn't be penalised either. It's not the child's fault.

MrsNextDoor · 10/06/2015 23:43

YANBU. I paid five pounds for a "calendar" DD had "Made" which was in fact a photocopy of a calendar which was too tiny to make out...and a photocopy of her handprint!!

I wanted to swipe the cheeky cow with it when I saw it!

geekymommy · 11/06/2015 00:48

It's a risky move from a PR standpoint in this day, with social media being so common. Word WILL get out, and it might not make the school look so good.

ChristmasZombie · 11/06/2015 06:59

I teach at a private primary school. We make a card and a gift for mother's day and fathers day, and the cost is absorbed by petty cash. We do charge for the calendars and gifts the children make at christmas, though. £1 each. Everyone makes a calendar and a gift, but only the ones who cough up a pound get to keep them. I've never considered this unreasonable, and it's a nice little money-spinner at the Christmas fayre.

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