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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with OH?

19 replies

plinkin · 09/06/2015 08:54

Yesterday morning, my OH got some purple spray on his work top (we have chickens and this spray is to stop pecking etc) so he took it off, rinsed it out and put it in the washing machine. No problems there.

At 11pm last night he decided to ask me if I'd washed it. I said no, as I was intending to do a load today (Tuesday) so I'd do it then. He then huffed and puffed saying that the stain would definitely not come out if I left it that long. I said it probably wouldn't anyway but I had some stain remover I was going to use so we'd see. I then went to finish my nightly ablutions, whilst hearing him stomp around outside.

When I come back into the bedroom, he tells me that he's put the washing machine to come on with his shirt in 'and some of his other clothes'. Now, AIBU to think that if he's going to put a load on, he could just pick the washing up out of the bin and put it all in, not just select a few of just his items from the load to put in?

He hasn't really spoken to me other than a huffy goodnight and good morning but I think I have a right to be more pissed off with his selfishness? I can't say I am massively pissed off or anything but just a little disappointed.

jiffy

OP posts:

keeptothewhiteline · 09/06/2015 08:58

I wouldn't allow a man to treat me like this .

He has made it clear he prefers to wash his own clothes. Easy peasy.
Who is drying the load he did btw?

Bair · 09/06/2015 08:59

YANBU.

He's not speaking to you properly because he didn't stain treat or wash his shirt? Dick.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/06/2015 09:01

Why does he not sort his shirt out? Or is that wife work in your house?

Christ I despair of some men, I really do.

And that's not even starting on the huffing and puffing - wtaf is that all about? Man child

QuiteLikely5 · 09/06/2015 09:01

No way would I put up with this sort of behaviour!

What a man child!

Original poster

plinkin · 09/06/2015 09:02

I know that way he thinks and honestly, in his mind, he's helping me by doing some of his stuff. He's the same when he makes himself lunch but doesn't ask me if I want any. 9 times out of 10 I will say I'll get something myself but it would be nice to be asked. But in his mind he thinks, if I make my own lunch/do this washing, Plinkin won't have to worry about it. So it is well meaning, just in the wrong way. I admit to spinning and hanging his clothes up this morning. The stain didn't come out anyway.

OP posts:

Humansatnav · 09/06/2015 09:02

He sounds delightful- where would one go to meet an overgrown toddler like him

sooperdooper · 09/06/2015 09:03

Eh? Why was it your responsibility to wash his shirt? He should've just put a load on with the work shirt straight away if it needed washing, why did he expect you to do it??

morelikeguidelines · 09/06/2015 09:04

He should have treated and washed his own shirt at the time, not just left it in the washing machine.

Why are you the washing fairy?

Original poster

plinkin · 09/06/2015 09:05

He can be a child, I'll be the first to admit it. He just doesn't think and when I tell him, he's shocked that I feel upset. I probably do spoil him and he is, in all fairness, mostly brilliant (even if I do have to ask, rather than expect him to think about helping) but you know when you begin to question yourself? I'm glad I'm not unjustified in feeling annoyed at this.

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 09/06/2015 09:05

He thinks washing his own clothes is helping you?? But why, you're both adults, his washing isn't solely your responsibility! Does he think all washing/cleaning/household chores are yours and what he does is helping? What a child :(

diddl · 09/06/2015 09:05

Putting washing in a machine & switching it on.

The most arduous of all household chores!

Original poster

plinkin · 09/06/2015 09:05

OP posts:

EuphemiaCoxton · 09/06/2015 09:06

I wouldn't wash anything of his ever again.

Humansatnav · 09/06/2015 09:07

YADNBU, but you need to stop spoiling him if his acting like this pisses you off.

Original poster

plinkin · 09/06/2015 09:10

Oops double post.

I think it must be his hormones as he's not normally like this. I don't always like him doing chores around the house as he never quite does them right (or this could be his cunning plan ) but if I ask him to do something , he does. Only occasionally does he get huffy. It's actually quite funny to see. I normally ignore him and he pulls himself out of it. To be fair, I can be as bad

OP posts:

NRomanoff · 09/06/2015 09:17

I do all the washing and ironing in our house. Not because its wife work, but because it's a job I don't mind doing and dh hates it. Just like I hate cooking so he does all the cooking. It just works out that way.

Even though I do all the washing, no way would dh be like this. He would have treated and put it in, with whatever else was in the basket that could go in. He certainly wouldn't expect me to drop everything and stain treat it. And if he wants something doing he does it.

If i fancied a snack, I wouldn't expect dh to drop everything and make me something because I wanted it.

I fucking despair that some men (and women) are like this and that their partners still think they are 'usually good'.

Bair · 09/06/2015 10:08

Spray that shirt purple, then peck him.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 09/06/2015 12:22

Spray that shirt purple, then peck him.

AlternativeTentacles · 09/06/2015 12:34

Until you change your mindset from him 'helping' you, then this is what you will get.

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