To be angry at this wedding invitation

[HarpyFishwifeTwat]

A wedding invitation came in today and I was so looking forward to being able to mock and laugh at all of the over the top nonsense given the last family wedding (I wasn't invited and was a little bitter until I saw the photos and realised I had had a lucky escape).

My first hint that there would be something to laugh at was the website so I logged on immediately but it all seemed very modest and a reasonable way to communicate with people in diverse parts of the country. I excitedly went onto the Gift List tab expecting a range of over the top, massively expensive gifts but no - they specifically don't want any gifts.

This couple are having a wedding which seems to be a happy celebration without expecting anything unreasonable of their guests.

AIBU to hate my family and friends for only ever inviting me to nice parties that I would quite like to attend and being utterly reasonable about it all. Why aren't they thinking about me and my need to bitch in a justified way?

YABU. Look harder. Surely you can find something to hate on.

YABU to jump to assumptions so quickly.
We need to know the children policy, whether there will be a free bar, and how many adult bridesmaids she is having to make a fully informed JUDGEFEST

they specifically don't want any gifts

That's because they're assuming all the guests are poor and have shit taste in toasters.

YABU

Bin the invitation and save yourself the price of a hat.

There's not even smug photos of the happy couple on the website for me to judge. I'm bereft.

That's because they're assuming all the guests are poor and have shit taste in toasters.

Knowing our family that's probably a safe assumption.

Have you asked what their policy is on tandem breastfeeding a 3year old?

Alison

Yes make it feeding triplets and you are NOT to be offered a side room for comfort.

Isn't it over an hours travel away can't you moan about that?

Ring the bride up and ask if you can wear white lace. Hopefully she'll answer with a note of hesitation in her voice, and we can all call her a bridezilla bitch.

Don't forget to report back.

It's about 8 hours travel away - but only because I'm the one who moved away. It's perfectly situated for the vast majority of the family and is in a wonderfully central location with great public transport links.

I don't think there's anyone in the family breastfeeding at the moment but everything so far indicates that they'd be shockingly willing to be as helpful as possible.

The dress is a good idea - I'll submit a question via the website.

How much is the hotel? Do they want you to have breakfast with them the next day? Will the table favours be a potential choking hazard?
Come on, Harpy, you aren't looking hard enough!

You're not even trying. Have you asked if you can bring your Great Dane? And the only outfit your Great Dane has is a white lace collar that she wore for your sister's wedding - it's a bit 'dog ringbearer-y' but come on, have you seen how hard it is to get wedding outfits for dogs?

I wouldn't bother ringing to check it's OK, though. Brides love a surprise Great Dane in a ruff.

Have you not pulled the menu apart yet....

Sigh

Have they not even bothered to send out a mysterious fabric swatch with no explanation?? Slack. Very slack.

OMG! The menu! No chocolate fountain, I hope, as chocolate can be poisonous for Great Danes.

I think you need to check the dress policy before you say there's nothing to bitch about. Ask the bride if you'll be able to wear a long white dress and veil and carry a bouquet and horseshoe. If she says anything other than "That's absolutely fine." BRIDEZILLA

But there will be a suitable canine fountain in the 'doggy daycare creche'

She is having one for pet owners surely?

No menu, no swatches, it's a buffet so bound to have something for everyone. This is a nightmare.

measures up destructive cat for a lace ruff

But if there is parking, it's liable to cost, no? Or else, be very scarce and therefore irritating for anyone who is too old/ill/lazy to catch public transport? ()

Do you have a child? Has he or she been invited to be in the wedding party? If not, why not, hmm??

I think you're being hasty in not being offended, tbh.

shockingly willing to be as helpful as possible

Send her a,link to a bridesmaid dress and tell her that's what you'll be wearing.

Has she not considered your cat? Is cat invited?

wonders why anyone would send a fabric swatch?

A buffet, you say? Will every dish be labelled with a full list of ingredients? (Fucking inconsiderate not to, what with all the allergies around these days).

Email and ask her. Give her max 2 hours to reply before emailing again. Your health is more important than her playing princess for a day, OP.

Damn them and their considerate wedding! Maybe they'll want their venue decorating at the last minute by an old school friend who wasn't invited to the wedding? In a film theme if I remember!