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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Calling a baby Bear

63 replies

WayneRooneysHair · 26/05/2015 12:16

I've NC for this.

A few weeks ago a friend gave birth to a baby boy and her and her boyfriend decided to call him Bear. The name has generated a pretty strong reaction among the families and friends concerned. My friend is pretty upset that people's opinions are strongly divided with most people thinking it's a joke.

Are these people being unfair on the name or is their concern and reaction understandable?

As for what I think, it's their choice but I can see why people are reacting in a negative way. I know MN can be funny about names but I'm interested to see what other people think.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/05/2015 12:18

I think it's an awful name.

I think it's a bit off that you've posted this on a public forum, because it will come up if they search the name.

SavoyCabbage · 26/05/2015 12:21

There is a Bear where I work but I've always assumed he's called Edward. He's Bear on all his official paperwork though so maybe not!

ollieplimsoles · 26/05/2015 12:22

Their 'concern'- why are they concerned? Its just a name.

Not what I would pick but I wouldn't be nasty about someone else's baby name choice. I would just be happy that the baby arrived safely and they are a happy family.

sebsmummy1 · 26/05/2015 12:23

I think it's cute. Does the child have a more recognisable middle name he can use if he wants to be employable later? Wink

Lilicat1013 · 26/05/2015 12:24

Personally I don't think it is a great choice of name, it is far better as a nickname. I think it would be hard to live with and the child would be on the receiving end of constant comments about it which they may not want to deal with.

I think it could really suit the right kind of person but you don't know what kind of person a baby will grow to be so it is a bit of a risk.

So for those reasons I wouldn't choose it myself but I wouldn't comment about a name when the child is already named, there is no point. I'd would keep my opinions to myself, unless specifically asked.

CookPassBabtrigde · 26/05/2015 12:25

I can understand a raised eyebrow about it but they should really keep it to themselves. It's a name they've chosen and it's pretty rude to say anything to them about it imo.
I wouldn't choose it personally but each to their own.

Original poster
WayneRooneysHair · 26/05/2015 12:26

I'm not saying what the middle name is for obvious reasons, it's okay and people like it more than Bear but it's very old skool.

OP posts:
steff13 · 26/05/2015 12:26

Didn't Alicia Silverstone name her son Bear?

Your friend must have realized that when you name your child something unusual, it tends to elicit a strong reaction. It may not be fair, and it may not be anyone's business what she names her child, but that's really beside the point; you can't control people's reactions. Certainly this was a consideration when she chose an unusual name.

Booboostoo · 26/05/2015 12:29

If they are going to chose such an unusual name they should expect some unusual reactions, their kid will be at the receiving end of them all his life. If you chose a very odd name for your child you have to have the confidence not to care about what others think.

Sirzy · 26/05/2015 12:29

I think if your going to pick a very different name then you have to be strong enough to not get upset if everyone doesn't love it

sparechange · 26/05/2015 12:30

Isn't that Jamie Oliver's son's name as well?
It is different, and a bit 'oh aren't I so wacky', but there are far worse names given out

ILYBAE2015 · 26/05/2015 12:31

It's not a good name, the kid will get grief, no matter how polite people are to the parents.

I'm calling my next child Marmite.

ChucksAhoy · 26/05/2015 12:32

It's an unusual choice but I love it! Unusual names are bound to provoke a strong reaction - while you'd hope that most people would exercise some discretion if they didn't like it, your friend surely must've been prepared for a bit more than just the usual 'ah isn't that lovely'...?

diddl · 26/05/2015 12:32

Well, if it's not opinions that they are after, then they are really best kept unvoiced.

I'd probably laugh & say "no, what is it really" though, as I don't know anyone that would say this other than as a joke.

BarbarianMum · 26/05/2015 12:33

If you give a child an unusual name then you really have to love it and defend it to all comers (at the very least by ignoring the comments they make). The good news is that all the fuss dies down within a few months and thereafter friends and family can't imagine calling him/her anything else. A positive, not defensive, attitude from the parents is really important though, because the child will need to model that later when they get the inevitable comments.

But someone has to be innovative with names or they'd never move on.

MrsHathaway · 26/05/2015 12:33

We call our son Bear. We get very odd looks sometimes.

It isn't his real name, though, and I think I would be a bit Hmm at someone who hadn't given their child a real name too.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 26/05/2015 12:34

There are lots of Tigers around in various forms. Bear isn't much different to that.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/05/2015 12:34

It's a ridiculous name but up to them. She needs to accept people have different tastes. However the people saying to her about it are being rude. (unless she's asking in which case dont ask if you can't accept honest answers)

sparklepopsicles · 26/05/2015 12:35

It's not that odd. I like it. Who cares what they call him it's their choice and no one else's business.

AuntyMary · 26/05/2015 12:35

Like Bear Grylls I'm guessing, except his name is actually Edward. Bear is a nn. Silly people! The poor child will have no chance to use a name like Edward if he wants to. One of my DCs has a name which we never use. We've used a NN from birth but she has a choice going forward which name she wants to use: a 'proper' name or her NN.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/05/2015 12:35

I like it. But would prefer it as a nickname.

ofshoes · 26/05/2015 12:37

I thought of big, hairy, fabulous gay guys before I thought of the animal, that might just be me though

fiveacres · 26/05/2015 12:37

It's horrible. And it is the child who will live with a lifetime of smirks. But ... What can you do? Grin

fredfredgeorgejnr · 26/05/2015 12:38

In 2013, the boys name Bear, was exactly as common as the boys name Keith, more popular than Vince and Tim (for example) Surprised it causes a stir really at all, it's getting pretty common, and as noted Alicia Silverstone uses it as a first name, Jamie Oliver as a second name (first name is Buddy which is even more common), and Bear Grylls as his stage and normal name.

The days when everyone was called Fred or George are long gone.

AliceLidl · 26/05/2015 12:40

There seem to be quite a few boys being named Fox now, Bear isn't really that different.

Jamie Oliver has a Bear doesn't he?