to think what a cheek...

[ghostspirit]

i used let daughters boyfriend stay over 3/4 times a week then it got to the stage of i felt they were taking the piss. so its now only once a week on average. the other day daughter asked if he could stay i said no. daughter accepted this and said ok...but his mum kept going on at my daughter saying things like why cant he stay he will be gone by morning and going on about it a bit. yet she will only let my daughter stay over her place about once every 6 weeks. then she does not even get fed when there....

not end of the world but i just thought it was a bit cheeky

Got nothing to do with his mum! Really cheeky!

Tell them they can alternate - he can stay at yours as long as they've stayed at his the last time.

It's none of his mum's business. Your house, your rules.

Yep, very hypercritical and a right damn cheek. 3/4 times a week is far too much (he's practically living at yours) too. Once a week is very reasonable. Maybe the odd 2 nights depending on circumstances.

Do you think she's just wondering why the rules have suddenly changed, why you've cut back to once per week? Maybe she's worried he's upset you in some way?

It depends whether you want them there or not. Simplistically. Do you want to see them regularly, occasionally, or not at all.

She sounds like a cheeky cow. If you're not invited, you're not invited; rude to challenge it.

Hmmm how do you know his mum is actually saying this to your dd?
Could your dd be saying that his mum's said this to try make you feel you're out of order? Which I don't think you are btw.

What a cheeky mare. I'd be wondering if DD was having me on to pressure me into letting him stay more though.

How old are they?

i dont mind them being here when things are running smoothly but had alot of stress so thats why i cut it right down. like crustsaway said i can be a bit flexible like if they have been out for the evening and its late or something like that

no daughter not having me on as she asked if he could stay the following night and i said yes...at the time of her asking if he could stay and i had said no she was at her boyfriends house. she did not tell me till she got home so dont think it was to make me let him stay more

If you're confident she's not having you on, I'd make a point of only letting him stay if they'd previously spent the night at his. Only for a while mind...the point needs to be made to the DM, not her son.

chicken she does not know that i know...plus i think it would just woosh over her head. and i dont think daughter really likes staying there as she does not get fed

Oh, I would just love it if next time the BF's mum starts harping on, your DD came out with something like "well my mum says at least she feeds guests who stay at the house"

chicken i wish lol. DD does not get it at all. i had to tell her about her boyfriend eating to much of my food and helping him self. it was making things difficult. and she did not get it at all.

Just put it simply...if you could afford and were happy to feed another person most of the week, you'd have had another child. Surely she understands that food costs money? How old is she?

shes 17....well thats what i dont get...if she gos there she does not get fed. but if i dare suggest he eats less/asks if its ok im out of order. so his mum does not have to feed her but i have to feed him...i dont think so!!! although i could never truely do that

She should be more than capable of understanding the situation at 17. Just hang in there with the once a week thing. I'd be irritated by him being there half the week too.

indeed they were really taking advantage and i had enough....but all settled for now :)