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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a job with flaky childcare options?

29 replies

Monstersinthegarden · 22/05/2015 15:35

I have one 2 year old DS. I live in a very small community and there are no daycares. There is a childminder a 20min drive in the opposite direction to the job but she can only take him thursdays, Fridays and alternate wednesdays. DH usually has Mondays and tuesdays off but his job is pretty unpredictable. I have one mum who has offered to help me out where she can, I would pay her. There are a few others who I could ask for favours and have done favours for before but wouldn't want to impose on regularly.

The main problem is that I won't have regular days, the shifts change week to week so I would always be having to schedule where he is going on what days.

It doesn't pay a lot but I am really not enjoying being a sahm and I think I can justify it by the fact that getting back out there quicker means I can get ahead and be earning more by the time DS is in school than by waiting and starting from zero.

Am I crazy? I'm really having a hard time with this decision and they need an answer by today.

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 22/05/2015 15:36

Yes! Sounds a total stress inducing nightmare. Sorry.

Original poster
Monstersinthegarden · 22/05/2015 15:51

Yeah... Thought so...

OP posts:
Alanna1 · 22/05/2015 15:53

Personally, I'd take it, and actively keep my eyes open for other jobs. Easier to get a job from a job.

SaucyJack · 22/05/2015 15:53

Yep, YABU. You lost me at asking other people for favours.

I think you would become extremely unpopular extremely quickly- and quite rightly so Wink

ilovesooty · 22/05/2015 15:59

Sorry, unless you can get more stable arrangements in place I don't think it would help you to enhance your employability. You just wouldn't be seen as reliable. I know that's dispiriting but it's realistic.

icklekid · 22/05/2015 16:03

I think if DH could commit to Monday/Tuesday or it would be up to him to rearrange childcare then its only alternate Wednesday that you might struggle? If you aren't enjoying being a SAHM then I would take it but make sure its not just you stressing about the childcare. Make sure that when you start you speak to your manager about shifts and see if they can avoid Wednesdays if at all possible?

AwayAndRunUpMaHumf · 22/05/2015 16:07

I agree with Wips, it sounds like an utter nightmare. I went back to work pt a year and a half ago, not because we needed me to but because I wanted some freedom, me time, adult interaction. It turned out it wasn't worth the stress in the slightest, I really appreciate being able to stay home now I know what the alternative is like.

monkeysaymoo · 22/05/2015 16:10

People's good will runs out pretty quickly with these types of favours so yes I think it would be crazy to take the job

WhoNickedMyName · 22/05/2015 16:13

Sounds like a recipe to piss off everyone involved, including your employer. Sorry.

holidaysarenice · 22/05/2015 16:15

For me it would depend on a few things:

How fAr in advance you would know the shifts and then organise childcare? The number of hours a week and if any of these are weekends? So is it full time care you need or not! Does dp work weekends?

Would you hve to pay every week for the cm even if not used?

How much money you would have left to add to family finances once te childcare travel etc is used

How much you like this job/hate sahm role? Any other jobs coming up?

How flexible you have to be with the days for instance I worked a job That was any five days but after a few months I always got the Monday as it suited me more than others, but I couldn't say it was my shift if that makes sense?

Are there any parents who would do reciprocal care now and again. Ie maybe two shift workers who get the odd occasion of being stuck as well?

Is you dc good at being left with different people? Ie could you use someone's babysitter without having use them before or would dc flip with that?

All things to think about, but you can make it work if you want.

Muddlewitch · 22/05/2015 16:24

Is the job in the same area you live in? If not could you look at childcare in that area?

Childcare is stressful and a never ending balancing act, though agree it partly depends how far in advance you would know your shifts to be able to plan.

Original poster
Monstersinthegarden · 22/05/2015 16:35

It will definitely be tough. At the moment, busy and stressed sounds better than bored and purposeless but it could just be a grass is greener kind of thing.

Luckily DS is very laid back and is happy with most people so I'm not really worried about that.

I am worried about pissing people off. If it got to the point that I was relying on favours regularly I would quit. That said, it is pretty common around here for the mums to help each other out because a lot of them are or have been in similar situations. In fact, today and yesterday I have been watching a friends two kids for her all day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Monstersinthegarden · 22/05/2015 16:41

It would be 5 8-hour shifts a week, days would change week to week but Saturday and Sunday are the busiest days. They said they "usually" have the schedule up two weeks in advance.
Oh, and some weeks it might be 6 days and the next week 4 days....

Yeah, I think I should keep looking, I was just so pleased that they actually picked me.

OP posts:
DinosaursRoar · 22/05/2015 16:42

It's not just woman who can put in flexible working requests, I know several men who've had set shifts so that they can fit round childcare as well as woman, your DH can apply for that to make that a little easier for you to work round.

If you got that nailed down, then it was just every other Wednesday that would be a problem. Could you talk to your potential new employer and say you can't do Wednesdays? That you wouldn't have call in favours to make this work.

Fanfeckintastic · 22/05/2015 16:45

In your position I took the job and it was the best decision I ever made! Things worked out nicely, sometimes there is a bit of a panic if my hours change or I have to take on extra hours but it's so worth it to have a whole other part to my life, more independence and much better off financially.

Fanfeckintastic · 22/05/2015 16:47

Oh I've just seen it's 5 8hr shifts, that's a bit different actually if you don't have set childcare!

Original poster
Monstersinthegarden · 22/05/2015 16:52

DHs work is tricky, he doesn't really have shifts, he just has to be there long enough to do what needs to be done. Weekends are busiest for him too (tourist area) and usually there isn't much going on on Mondays and Tuesdays so he chooses to take those days off.

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FishWithABicycle · 22/05/2015 17:10

Well that sounds fine then - he needs to take responsibility for Mondays and Tuesdays (remember he is parent too, it's not just your job to sort this) so if he does need to work on one of those days he is responsible for finding and implementing alternative childcare. So if you can get this other person to do the other alternate wednesdays (paid of course) then you are all set. Just don't have asking for favours as part of your regular plans! It will not end well!

Jetgir1 · 22/05/2015 17:18

Personally the stress of trying to organise childcare around 2 lots of seemingly random houred jobs would stress me out far more than I could handle. Have you thought about looking for work you could do from home? Or part time work? At the very least I would want a job with regular hours on regular days. Then you have a goal/purpose etc but childcare would be easier?

TheEggityOddity · 22/05/2015 17:23

I would personally just give it a try and it might settle into a rhythm or you might find you don't like the job, but at least it will give you perspective. I'm sure you could try for a month. It's not as if the offer of a low wage and random hours is so good that they won't be surprised if you leave...

tiggytape · 22/05/2015 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SocialMediaAddict · 22/05/2015 17:56

I couldn't do a job without booked childcare. Too much stress!

Muddlewitch · 22/05/2015 18:40

What would you do on weekends then?

Nanny0gg · 22/05/2015 19:21

Luckily DS is very laid back and is happy with most people so I'm not really worried about that.

But at the moment he's not with different people/in different places every day which varies from week to week.

Very unsettling for him I would think. Not fair.

Original poster
Monstersinthegarden · 22/05/2015 20:25

I did work 2 days a week for a few months but I didn't like the job, I was more bored there than I was at home. I wasn't learning anything there.

DS went to a bunch of different places at that time and took it all in his stride.

OP posts: