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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that sometimes we forget that most people are essentially decent

58 replies

Tryingtokeepalidonit · 10/05/2015 20:43

I, and my family, completed Walk the Wight today, a 26 1/2 mile charity walk for the Island's hospice. An amazing and exhausting day shared with hundreds of thousands of other people and over 400 dogs. It was a day of shared blisters, tea and laughs. Going by the Island election results a large % must of been Conservative/UKIP voters but whilst last week we were divided by politics ( Labour voter here) today we were united in supporting a common goal. Surely this proves that whilst people have differing politics most of us want the same, a fair and decent society. I was just uplifted by today, also knackered and in bed already!

OP posts:
AddToBasket · 10/05/2015 20:47

YANBUThe last few days have been a bizarre storm of people ranting about 'Tory scum' or similar.

The UK is largely made up of voters who occupy the centre ground of politics (slightly to left or slightly to right). The socially acceptable abuse of people who voted Conservative is intellectually lazy and rude.

Most people are just doing their best for themselves, their family and the community around them. Lots of people conclude that that equates to voting coservative. Lots of people don't. But the suggestion that the decision is driven by stupidity or malice is just wrong.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/05/2015 20:50

Yanbu.
It always makes me smile for humanity whenever an ambulance tries to get through traffic. Red, blue, ukip, bnp, rich, poor, whomever - we all do our damdest to get out of the way of that ambulance.

nancysblushes · 10/05/2015 20:53

What a refreshing couple of posts.

CtrlAltDelicious · 10/05/2015 20:53

YANBU and your post makes a welcome change after a fairly unpleasant week on MN.

DurhamDurham · 10/05/2015 20:56

I agree, I meet lots of very decent kind people. It's just that we only ever hear or talk about people committing crime, being antisocial etc.
I've never been caught in traffic which hasn't actively tried to get out the way of an ambulance.
If someone has fallen in the street I see people doing their best to help.
I work in the voluntary sector as a respite coordinator and when I visit people in their homes I am often met withholding drinks, snacks etc. one family insisted they dry my wet coat and shoes after I got caught in a downpour. This happens while they are going through horrible awful stressful times....they still have time to think about other people and be concerned about their welfare.

SpottedTent · 10/05/2015 20:57

YADNBU. Everyone tends to forget this. Me and DP were struggling to get a sofa into a new flat today, the neighbour immediately offered to help with a big smile and no hesitation. He didn't ask who we voted for before offering... Wink

DurhamDurham · 10/05/2015 20:57

Met with hot drinks....not withholding Smile

Stinkersmum · 10/05/2015 20:58

YANBU. Particularly this week, it's astonishing how relative strangers on an Internet forum think they can judge you by your opinion on a post or how you vote. It takes all sorts. And 99.9% of the time, those all sorts a good, albeit different people.

TheoriginalLEM · 10/05/2015 20:59

Yanbu - some people are just deluded!

well done on the walk

WorraLiberty · 10/05/2015 21:05

YANBU at all

Decent people everywhere put an X in whatever box they think is right. It just happens to differ from what some other people think is right.

It doesn't necessarily make any of them bad people.

Hope your blisters heal quickly.

Smartiepants79 · 10/05/2015 21:10

See I agree with you to a point. I think that on a day to day basis most of us have time for others and even go out of our way to help out. When faced with a real person we do what we can.
But I've been thinking this week that it's foolish of people to believe that most of us would vote for the 'greater good'. We vote for what is going to have the best impact on our own lives. We make choices that are right for us and our closest family. We are in the end inherently selfish. That's how we are programmed evolutionarily. We mostly do our best to rise above it but it's naive to think people will choose something that they believe will have a negative impact on their own lives in favour of someone they don't even know.
All this name calling and guilt tripping just shows up the nastier side of people who clearly think their political choices make them better people.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/05/2015 21:11

Great post

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/05/2015 21:12

and congratulations on completing the walk

Whiskwarrior · 10/05/2015 21:13

Indeed, OP. That is a heartening OP to read.

People coming together for a common - good - cause. Can't be a bad thing.

I work in a primary school and the children there amaze me daily with their compassion and concern for each other and the wider community.

A girl in Y6 (age 11) swam the local harbour for charity. On Christmas day. I think a lot of adults could learn a thing or two about careing for their fellow human beings from her.

PeachyPants · 10/05/2015 21:14

Yup great post and good on you for the walk and fundraising Smile.

Stinkersmum · 10/05/2015 21:14

Great post Smartie

morage · 10/05/2015 21:19

YABU, sorry. Most people will help where it doesn't put them out. Very few people really put themselves out for others.

fiveacres · 10/05/2015 21:21

I agree with you op.

With specific regard to Mumsnet, initially I was dismayed by the venom towards conservative voters (I did vote conservative.)

The problem is, many of us - justifiably!- retaliated and things seem almost to have gone to the other extreme now. Mumsnet feels right wing at the moment. It is very strange!

ahbollocks · 10/05/2015 21:23

Yanbu. My dear friend is dying at the moment :( her big circle of famiky and friends are so diverse but everyone has been so kind and looking after each other as well as her

JoanHickson · 10/05/2015 21:24

You would be surprised at the behaviour of the "decent" to those perceived of less value to society, be it direct or via standing by doing nothing

Theknacktoflying · 10/05/2015 21:24

Have a good sleep and hope you recover quickly.

I can't speak for others, but sometimes I think it is also about having a belief system.

I couldn't really care who voted for which party ..

MissingKittyCat · 10/05/2015 21:24

Well done on the walk!
And the ambulance post is lovely, and true.
People can be great. The great ones make up for the horrible ones!
My heart always smiles when out with DD in her humongous wheelchair and someone hold a door open for an extra few seconds or moves a few chairs so we can sit in a cafe. Or speaks to her despite the fact she'll not speak back.

One particular event that warmed my soul was when she had gone to an entertainment complex with her carers. They were stood watching a young teenage boy try and get a teddy in those grabber machines that never win. DD was mesmerised with the sonic teddy, the teenage boy must have noticed her intent, wistful gaze and having struggled to win, try after try, finally grabbed the teddy and handed it over to my seven year old. Such a nice thing to do. She doesn't know to say thank you but I was so thankful when the carers relayed the story.
People can be great.

nancysblushes · 10/05/2015 21:26

Morage - this is as so many people say ( and rightly so ) anecdote not fact , but I do see people of different political views putting themselves out for others. I do. Not just moving for an ambulance but more time consuming things than that. There are as previous pps have said, decent people on all places on the political spectrum , it's just that they disagree about the way to get to the decent place most people want to be.

Maybe I am just being naive.

DamnBamboo · 10/05/2015 21:27

YABU, sorry. Most people will help where it doesn't put them out. Very few people really put themselves out for others

On what basis do you think this?

morage · 10/05/2015 21:33

Damn - Most of us, including me, walk past homeless people regularly. Don't regularly make sure elderly or disabled people in their street are okay. Don't look after their elderly parents in their own home.

Raising money for a charity doing something you enjoy is to be applauded, but it isn't really putting yourself out.