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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed about so called advice...

22 replies

JellyWellyWoo · 03/02/2015 22:05

I have been told by DH's Granny that I should start early weaning at 5 months because my milk is 'weak' and is no longer good enough to support my DD. MY DD is a big baby but surely got that way from being ebf anyway! I said I am going to wait until six months and got tutted at and told I need to at least top-up with formula to help with the night waking.

Just feel a little annoyed that she always thinks she knows better. I know I probably sound a little pathetic but times have changed and I don't like the pressure!

OP posts:

Lepaskilf · 03/02/2015 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nocoolnamesleft · 03/02/2015 22:07

Your milk will be way more calorie-dense than early weaning foods. Stick to your guns.

MrsRayOfSunshine · 03/02/2015 22:08

I've learnt you can never please everyone as a parent, so ignore the unwanted advice and do it the way you like, you know your child better than anyone

CurlyhairedAssassin · 03/02/2015 22:09

"But times have changed...." - just tell her that. Don't waste your breath explaining. If she carries on just don't ever give her any info about that side of thing eg if she asks how your baby is sleeping just say "fine, thanks."" Don't offer anything for her to pick at.

GingerCuddleMonster · 03/02/2015 22:10

no use in weaninga baby that's not ready, it just won't work, they don't actually eat any of the food it goes everywhere except down their gullet, and what goes down wouldn't be sufficient to class as a meal anyway.

Milk is fine, stay as you are, just nod and smile

hotfuzzra · 03/02/2015 22:15

"Oh is that what they used to tell you way back in the day/in the olden days/years ago? I think things have changed since then and we're given different advice now" you interfering wench

HarrietSchulenberg · 03/02/2015 22:17

Ask her how she knows your milk is weak and pointedly accuse her of stealing your EBM from the fridge. That should shut her up.

Jackieharris · 03/02/2015 22:19

In 30 years time your dd will do things differently than you are doing now.

Just accept that different generations have different ideas about 'correct' parenting.

NakedFamilyFightClub · 03/02/2015 22:19

My DH's granny assured me that each of her 7 babies slept thought the night from the day they were born. I took that as a reasonable excuse to ignore all advise offered since her memory is clearly going!

Just keep repeating "it works for us"

capsium · 03/02/2015 22:20

Do not discuss with her. If she asks, say your HV agrees with you (they will) and your baby is doing great, thanks for asking.

zzzzz · 03/02/2015 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMissRayofHope · 03/02/2015 22:30

I had a lot of this sort of stuff with my mum. She seemed to be personally insulted that I wasn't doing things the way she had 30 years ago. Would constantly 'advise' me to do it her way, guaranteeing things would be better. And when I consistently refused she would make snippy comments about how I was judging her and saying she wasn't as good a mum as me... I told her to either support me or not come round anymore.

She still comes round, sees DC weekly, about once a month she offers some 'advice' and now I just say 'ok, thanks mum, I'll consider it'.
Seems to keep everyone happy.

Just follow your instincts and if you can't tell the old bag woman to butt out then just lie to her, like pp said 'oh baby is sleeping great now'

Justmuddlingalong · 03/02/2015 22:32

My ExH's Gran suggested we kept a pot of jam and a dummy at the side of the bed when Ds1 was a baby. We were to dip the dummy in the jam and give it to Ds if he became unsettled at night. Common sense and old photos of family members with black stumps where teeth should have been ruled that out. OP tell her that she nursed her babies as she saw fit and that you will be doing as you see fit.

notonyourninny · 03/02/2015 22:41

Ignore!!!!

CalicoBlue · 03/02/2015 22:56

Smile, nod and take no notice. She does not know what you do at night, and when she is not there. Within a few weeks you will be weaning and then another lot of advice will come your way.

The best advice I had when I had my first was to ignore all advice and do what felt right to me.

jambag · 04/02/2015 00:57

just agree with her and carry on as you were, seriously. If she wants to debate, link her to WHO advice to bf until 2 years old.
Not her baby, not her beeswax

SofiaAmes · 04/02/2015 01:35

She is just telling you what she was taught and truly believes to be true. Frankly, I was told the same thing with absolute conviction by my health visitor when ds was a baby and that was only 14 years ago!

TopazRocks · 04/02/2015 01:42

'No, granny, the SCIENCE has changed so much since YOUR day'. As long as she isn't an actual scientist.

Fanjango · 04/02/2015 01:48

Ignore and do as you planned. FWIW I'm now feeling ancient as with my pfb we were advised to wean at 4 months. it's not that old advice really

Writerwannabe83 · 04/02/2015 06:20

I got all sorts of grief off my nan when my baby was young and I was EBF. She was mid 70's and managed to come up with a new criticism on my feeding choice every time I saw her, making sly and underhanded digs and comments whenever she could.

DS is 10 months old now and I still BF which I think would give my nan a heart attack if she knew!! I think because of his age she has assumed I have stopped and so she no longer mentions it.

It was very difficult when DS was younger as I used to avoid visiting her because of how much her comments would upset me.

paxtecum · 04/02/2015 06:22

I wonder what the official advice will be in 40 years time.
It does seem to change every 5 years.

Original poster

JellyWellyWoo · 04/02/2015 21:19

Thanks all, you have made me see that it's OK to ignore such advice and carry on regardless and do what I see is best. I have to say I am feeling less annoyed after reading some of your comments and having a giggle. Oh and no Topaz she is not an actual scientist haha! Brilliant :D

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