to think it's just utter laziness?

[RocketInMyPocket]

DD (3.5) keeps having accidents in the day. She's absolutely fine when we're out, and she'll always tell me when she needs to go, it's just when we're at home.
I don't know what to do, feel like I've tried every thing!
She sometimes has accidents in nursery, which seem to go in cycles, no accidents for 2 weeks then 3 days in a row or whatever.
When I ask her why she has wet herself, she'll say 'I couldn't get to the toilet in time', but I've seen her doing the dance, and had to remind her to go.
I've tried talking, explaining, telling off, but don't really want to tell her off because I don't want her to feel embarrassed or ashamed, but at the same time it's so frustrating, because she's fine when we're out.
I've taken her to the doctors, they said she doesn't have an infection.
I told her today if she can't watch tv without wetting herself, then she won't be able to watch it.
Is that too harsh, or not?
I'm at a loss really...

She's just not in the habit yet. Can you try taking her to the loo every hour?

When you go to the loo say it's her turn?

Does she get so involved in things that the urge to go might sort of get away from her?

Oh dear. I think you need to be a bit more patient and understand that 3.5 is very young - being consistently clean and dry takes time for a small child to master. I'd avoid the "utter laziness" label, it's not very kind, especially when directed at your own child!

I don't think it advised to take a child hourly. Being dry comes from understanding her own body and the signals it sends. Is she ready for potty training?

Not too harsh I don't think, but would add that when mine were that age I compromised by having the potty in the same room so that they could get to it themselves. Usually they did and it did greatly reduce the number of disasters.

Could you try that perhaps? If that doesn't work then perhaps carry your threat out.

A well hydrated person should pee nearly every hour

Seems reasonable to apply that to a child who probably has a bladder the size of a walnut

Gogogobo, of course I'd never say that to her!
It's just frustrating as it does literally seem to be when she can be bothered.
I keep telling her that it takes longer to get cleaned up and changed than it does to go to the loo, so she's missing more in the long run by not going.
I guess patience is the key then? (Isn't it always)

She's very young still. I think she probably relaxes more at home, gets engrossed in playing and therefore doesn't notice she needs to go until the last minute. When she's out and about I suppose she's less distracted.

Perhaps have sticker chart for when she's had a dry day? Remind her at regular intervals to go to the toilet e.g after breakfast, before a snack, before her favourite programme etc.

Topseyt, I did used to have a potty downstairs, and she was brilliant, then she started telling me pottys are for babies and toilets are for big girls.
So I got rid of it.
Don't know if she'd go on it as she's so proud of being a 'big girl'.(Big girl being mentioned thousands of times per day by her at the moment!)

Too harsh imo. She's only three and a half. My dd was doing what you describe at up until she was over 5! She would leave it till the last second and...uh oh...wet knickers.
She grew out of it once her bladder muscles grew stronger, and she got her timing a bit more sophisticated.

She'll also tell me when she does go, I always try to be very encouraging, big well dones, high 5s etc.
Might look into a sticker chart actually, see how she gets on with that.

Potties are also for young children to have nearby if they might have difficulty making it to the toilet. That was my reasoning.

I would bring the potty back and tell her that it is there until she is more able to recognise in time when she needs to go to the toilet. You will take it away again when you are both more sure of that. See how she reacts.

Possibly she's relaxed at home and forgets? My little girl never ever had an accident when out but occasionally when at home

I certainly have never peed hourly. I simply couldn't do my job if I had to pee hourly! DD1 is potty training at the mo. She is peeing every 2 hours or so.

I bribed my kids with sweets. Might not have been ideal but it worked.
Every time they used the toilet I rewarded them with a fruit pastille.
And for all the sweetie police it lasted a couple of weeks and they hardly eat sweets now they're older.

Maybe because they're males. They can resist the pull of sugar unlike me.

i used to say to my son if we at least tried for a wee he could have a chocolate button or biscuit et and just did this at regular intervals or when he looked like he needed to go