to expect an apology?

[puggywug81]

Oh was picking me and ds up from my mum's. I was getting ds into car seat but oh had fitted it wrong, I passed ds to him while I sorted the seat. I started trying to tell him where he had gone wrong and he kept telling me to shut up and just do it so I did raise my voice to him as I didn't appreciate him telling me to shut up. He turned to 10 month old ds and said ds just ignore your mum she's being a bitch.

I was so hurt, we didn't speak for the rest of the night. Today I expected an apology when I mentioned it he got cross and said I should apologise to him for the way I spoke to him. I think I must have been naggier than I thought I had been but he thinks he has done nothing wrong, I'm so hurt.

Of course he should apologise. Bloody hell. It's not 'nagging' to tell him how to fit the car seat properly, it's essential information.
Telling you to shut up and calling you a bitch in front of your son is unacceptable.

Does he have form for this sort of behaviour, or was this just out of the blue?

He sounds like a dick - if he really didn't like your tone of voice, then adding his own wasn't the way to deal with it. 'Ok, but show me later' would have done.

He told your ds you were a bitch?

I'd be fecking livid at that, your OH sounds like a prize twat.

Of course he should apologise.

He insulted you to your son. Regardless of anything else, that's totally unacceptable. Does he have form for that sort of behaviour?

He didn't used to be like this but lately he has a short fuse, he's great with ds but I seem to rub him up the wrong way.

Not acceptable to call you a bitch.

Especially not acceptable call you a bitch in front of your child (whether they can understand or not).

Not acceptable to have such an ott reaction to something so mundane.

Yes, you deserve an apology.

So he did the seat wrong, you were telling him where he went wrong, he told you to shut up, you shouted at him and then he called you a bitch, is that right?

You're both in the wrong I think, it sounds like you have a short fuse too.

He owes you an apology for calling you a bitch in front of your son and you owe him an apology for shouting at him in front of your son.

I agree, he shouldn't call you a bitch, especially in front of your child. Was there a particular reason he snapped though? Do you think maybe the tone you were speaking to him in was more than just 'trying to explain' or perhaps you were already in a rush? I agree with DoJo, a 'let's do this later' would have been the better response. He needs to learn now that it's never acceptable to call the other parent vile names in front of the child, however much tempers are frayed.

YANBU, your "D"P is. Completely out of order of him to call you a bitch, especially to your DS. However, you shouldn't have raised your voice either.

Is everything ok with you & OH usually and have you tried talking to him about how / why it upset you?

yes he should apologise, calling you a bitch and telling you to shut up. Involving ds, even though he is so young was also unacceptable.

but I think my dh would feel cross depending on how I was telling him. If I was being all superior, or nagging, he would feel got at. And he is pretty laid back. He would never speak to me like that though